Pica Has Called A Press Conference.
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Why does this always work? Every single time!
@futurebird Toxoplasma
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I didn't even know there were holes in the bag of cat treats, but ... I guess I ought to check that now?
@futurebird It was an oddly specific denial of facts not previously alleged.
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@futurebird the court of cutes need to see the accused

@sidd_harth0_5h4h @futurebird Meanwhile, the ants are like, "Thank you for your service."
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Pica Has Called A Press Conference.
Standing flanked by two scratching posts she speaks.
"The rumors that I have punched tiny holes with my pointy little teeth in the bag of cat treats are nothing but terrible lies. I know nothing of those holes. I have never seen them. I do not know where they came from. Thank you America.
No you may not use your keyboard."
UPDATE: Here is an image.

@futurebird This reminds me of the story about scientists who were studying octopus behavior and found that the supply of octopus treats was mysteriously diminishing. They put up a surveillance camera and found that the octopus was climbing out of its tank at night and raiding the treats. The octopus also pled not guilty.
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@futurebird if you have cats, there are always holes in the bags of cat treats.
Before buying in pots, all my mayonnaise tubes had holes.
The last tube they punctured contained harissa paste. This was, they concluded, worse than taking that bite out of the cactus. -
Pica Has Called A Press Conference.
Standing flanked by two scratching posts she speaks.
"The rumors that I have punched tiny holes with my pointy little teeth in the bag of cat treats are nothing but terrible lies. I know nothing of those holes. I have never seen them. I do not know where they came from. Thank you America.
No you may not use your keyboard."
UPDATE: Here is an image.

@futurebird I believe her. You should believe her too.
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@futurebird I believe her. You should believe her too.
OK fine. The holes, which are spaced like cat teeth are just... supernatural I guess.
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Pica Has Called A Press Conference.
Standing flanked by two scratching posts she speaks.
"The rumors that I have punched tiny holes with my pointy little teeth in the bag of cat treats are nothing but terrible lies. I know nothing of those holes. I have never seen them. I do not know where they came from. Thank you America.
No you may not use your keyboard."
UPDATE: Here is an image.

@futurebird @lisamelton I believe her. That face is very trustworthy.
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OK fine. The holes, which are spaced like cat teeth are just... supernatural I guess.
@futurebird They were likely created by a ghoul, or perhaps the hole fairy.
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Pica Has Called A Press Conference.
Standing flanked by two scratching posts she speaks.
"The rumors that I have punched tiny holes with my pointy little teeth in the bag of cat treats are nothing but terrible lies. I know nothing of those holes. I have never seen them. I do not know where they came from. Thank you America.
No you may not use your keyboard."
UPDATE: Here is an image.

@futurebird does your car always seem to win like mine?
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Before buying in pots, all my mayonnaise tubes had holes.
The last tube they punctured contained harissa paste. This was, they concluded, worse than taking that bite out of the cactus.@pascaline one of mine once put holes in a bag of cayenne powder. Mistakes were made. @futurebird
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