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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

    Turns water into wine
    Floats on water
    Makes bread for 5000 people
    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

    cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
    cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
    cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
    wrote last edited by
    #10

    @Buster

    Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

    [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

      Turns water into wine
      Floats on water
      Makes bread for 5000 people
      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

      bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
      bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
      bololacertus@mstdn.mx
      wrote last edited by
      #11

      @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

        Turns water into wine
        Floats on water
        Makes bread for 5000 people
        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

        nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
        nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
        nigenet@mastodon.social
        wrote last edited by
        #12

        @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

        ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

          Turns water into wine
          Floats on water
          Makes bread for 5000 people
          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

          yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
          yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
          yuvalne@433.world
          wrote last edited by
          #13

          @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

          celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
            jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
            jasper@mastodon.nl
            wrote last edited by
            #14

            @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

              @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

              celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
              celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
              celesteh@hachyderm.io
              wrote last edited by
              #15

              @Yuvalne @Buster

              This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                akamran@indieweb.social
                wrote last edited by
                #16

                @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                  Turns water into wine
                  Floats on water
                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                  amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                  amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                  amro@todon.nl
                  wrote last edited by
                  #17

                  @Buster Yeastus! πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                    @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

                    ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                    ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                    ozzelot@mstdn.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #18

                    @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                      Turns water into wine
                      Floats on water
                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                      nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                      nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                      nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                      wrote last edited by
                      #19

                      @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                        Turns water into wine
                        Floats on water
                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                        travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                        travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                        travisfw@fosstodon.org
                        wrote last edited by
                        #20

                        @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                        Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                          @agowa338 @Buster
                          The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                          β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                          "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                          msbellows@c.im
                          wrote last edited by
                          #21

                          @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                          The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                          psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                            @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                            The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                            psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                            psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                            psneeze@mastodon.ie
                            wrote last edited by
                            #22

                            @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                            msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                              Turns water into wine
                              Floats on water
                              Makes bread for 5000 people
                              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                              rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                              rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                              rk@mastodon.well.com
                              wrote last edited by
                              #23

                              @Buster

                              Is made of bread. Or the other way around, anyway. Sometimes. Kinda.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                                @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                msbellows@c.im
                                wrote last edited by
                                #24

                                @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                  @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                  psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #25

                                  @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                    Turns water into wine
                                    Floats on water
                                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                    _thegeoff@mastodon.social_ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    _thegeoff@mastodon.social_ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    _thegeoff@mastodon.social
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #26

                                    @Buster
                                    Our microbe,
                                    Which is basically everywhere,
                                    Saccharomyces be thy name.
                                    Thy kingdom Fungi,
                                    Thy phylum Ascomycota,
                                    On earth, as it is in the ocean.
                                    Give us this day our daily bread,
                                    And forgive us our infections,
                                    As we forgive those who gave us infections.
                                    For thine is the power,
                                    An- and aerobically,
                                    For far longer than us.
                                    A mould.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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