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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

    @agowa338 @Buster
    The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

    “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

    "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

    agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
    agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
    agowa338@chaos.social
    wrote last edited by
    #9

    @msbellows @Buster

    Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

    * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

    Christianity is just a big cooking club.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

      Turns water into wine
      Floats on water
      Makes bread for 5000 people
      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

      cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
      cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
      cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
      wrote last edited by
      #10

      @Buster

      Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

      [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

        Turns water into wine
        Floats on water
        Makes bread for 5000 people
        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

        bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
        bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
        bololacertus@mstdn.mx
        wrote last edited by
        #11

        @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

          Turns water into wine
          Floats on water
          Makes bread for 5000 people
          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

          nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
          nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
          nigenet@mastodon.social
          wrote last edited by
          #12

          @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

          ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
            yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
            yuvalne@433.world
            wrote last edited by
            #13

            @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

            celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

              Turns water into wine
              Floats on water
              Makes bread for 5000 people
              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

              jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jasper@mastodon.nl
              wrote last edited by
              #14

              @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                celesteh@hachyderm.io
                wrote last edited by
                #15

                @Yuvalne @Buster

                This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                  @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                  akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                  akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                  akamran@indieweb.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #16

                  @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                    Turns water into wine
                    Floats on water
                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                    amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                    amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                    amro@todon.nl
                    wrote last edited by
                    #17

                    @Buster Yeastus! 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                      @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

                      ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                      ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                      ozzelot@mstdn.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #18

                      @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                        Turns water into wine
                        Floats on water
                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                        nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                        nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                        nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                        wrote last edited by
                        #19

                        @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                          Turns water into wine
                          Floats on water
                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                          travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                          travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                          travisfw@fosstodon.org
                          wrote last edited by
                          #20

                          @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                          Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                            @agowa338 @Buster
                            The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                            “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                            "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                            msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                            msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                            msbellows@c.im
                            wrote last edited by
                            #21

                            @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                            The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                            psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                              @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                              The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                              psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                              psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                              psneeze@mastodon.ie
                              wrote last edited by
                              #22

                              @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                              msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                Turns water into wine
                                Floats on water
                                Makes bread for 5000 people
                                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                rk@mastodon.well.com
                                wrote last edited by
                                #23

                                @Buster

                                Is made of bread. Or the other way around, anyway. Sometimes. Kinda.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                                  @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  msbellows@c.im
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #24

                                  @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                  psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                    @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                    psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                    psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                    psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #25

                                    @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                      Turns water into wine
                                      Floats on water
                                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                      _thegeoff@mastodon.social_ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      _thegeoff@mastodon.social_ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      _thegeoff@mastodon.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #26

                                      @Buster
                                      Our microbe,
                                      Which is basically everywhere,
                                      Saccharomyces be thy name.
                                      Thy kingdom Fungi,
                                      Thy phylum Ascomycota,
                                      On earth, as it is in the ocean.
                                      Give us this day our daily bread,
                                      And forgive us our infections,
                                      As we forgive those who gave us infections.
                                      For thine is the power,
                                      An- and aerobically,
                                      For far longer than us.
                                      A mould.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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