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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • agowa338@chaos.socialA agowa338@chaos.social

    @Buster

    Heals people => penicillin

    Oh my, that explains everything!

    Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

    Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
    msbellows@c.im
    wrote last edited by
    #8

    @agowa338 @Buster
    The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

    “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

    "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

    agowa338@chaos.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

      @agowa338 @Buster
      The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

      “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

      "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

      agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      agowa338@chaos.social
      wrote last edited by
      #9

      @msbellows @Buster

      Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

      * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

      Christianity is just a big cooking club.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

        Turns water into wine
        Floats on water
        Makes bread for 5000 people
        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

        cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
        cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
        cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
        wrote last edited by
        #10

        @Buster

        Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

        [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

          Turns water into wine
          Floats on water
          Makes bread for 5000 people
          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

          bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
          bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
          bololacertus@mstdn.mx
          wrote last edited by
          #11

          @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
            nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
            nigenet@mastodon.social
            wrote last edited by
            #12

            @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

            ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

              Turns water into wine
              Floats on water
              Makes bread for 5000 people
              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

              yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
              yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
              yuvalne@433.world
              wrote last edited by
              #13

              @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

              celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                Turns water into wine
                Floats on water
                Makes bread for 5000 people
                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jasper@mastodon.nl
                wrote last edited by
                #14

                @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                  @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                  celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                  celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                  celesteh@hachyderm.io
                  wrote last edited by
                  #15

                  @Yuvalne @Buster

                  This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                    @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                    akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                    akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                    akamran@indieweb.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #16

                    @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                      Turns water into wine
                      Floats on water
                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                      amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                      amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                      amro@todon.nl
                      wrote last edited by
                      #17

                      @Buster Yeastus! 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                        @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

                        ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                        ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                        ozzelot@mstdn.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #18

                        @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                          Turns water into wine
                          Floats on water
                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                          nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                          nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                          nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                          wrote last edited by
                          #19

                          @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                            Turns water into wine
                            Floats on water
                            Makes bread for 5000 people
                            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                            travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                            travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                            travisfw@fosstodon.org
                            wrote last edited by
                            #20

                            @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                            Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                              @agowa338 @Buster
                              The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                              “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                              "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                              msbellows@c.im
                              wrote last edited by
                              #21

                              @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                              The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                              psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                wrote last edited by
                                #22

                                @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                  Turns water into wine
                                  Floats on water
                                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                  rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  rk@mastodon.well.com
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #23

                                  @Buster

                                  Is made of bread. Or the other way around, anyway. Sometimes. Kinda.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                                    @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    msbellows@c.im
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #24

                                    @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                    psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                      @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                      psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #25

                                      @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                        Turns water into wine
                                        Floats on water
                                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                        _thegeoff@mastodon.social_ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        _thegeoff@mastodon.social_ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        _thegeoff@mastodon.social
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #26

                                        @Buster
                                        Our microbe,
                                        Which is basically everywhere,
                                        Saccharomyces be thy name.
                                        Thy kingdom Fungi,
                                        Thy phylum Ascomycota,
                                        On earth, as it is in the ocean.
                                        Give us this day our daily bread,
                                        And forgive us our infections,
                                        As we forgive those who gave us infections.
                                        For thine is the power,
                                        An- and aerobically,
                                        For far longer than us.
                                        A mould.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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