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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

    Turns water into wine
    Floats on water
    Makes bread for 5000 people
    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

    lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
    lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
    lasse@social.tchncs.de
    wrote last edited by
    #7

    @Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • agowa338@chaos.socialA agowa338@chaos.social

      @Buster

      Heals people => penicillin

      Oh my, that explains everything!

      Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

      Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.im
      wrote last edited by
      #8

      @agowa338 @Buster
      The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

      β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

      "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

      agowa338@chaos.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

        @agowa338 @Buster
        The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

        β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

        "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

        agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        agowa338@chaos.social
        wrote last edited by
        #9

        @msbellows @Buster

        Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

        * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

        Christianity is just a big cooking club.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

          Turns water into wine
          Floats on water
          Makes bread for 5000 people
          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

          cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
          cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
          cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
          wrote last edited by
          #10

          @Buster

          Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

          [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
            bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
            bololacertus@mstdn.mx
            wrote last edited by
            #11

            @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

              Turns water into wine
              Floats on water
              Makes bread for 5000 people
              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

              nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
              nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
              nigenet@mastodon.social
              wrote last edited by
              #12

              @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

              ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                Turns water into wine
                Floats on water
                Makes bread for 5000 people
                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                yuvalne@433.world
                wrote last edited by
                #13

                @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                  Turns water into wine
                  Floats on water
                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                  jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jasper@mastodon.nl
                  wrote last edited by
                  #14

                  @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                    @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                    celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                    celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                    celesteh@hachyderm.io
                    wrote last edited by
                    #15

                    @Yuvalne @Buster

                    This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                      @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                      akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                      akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                      akamran@indieweb.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #16

                      @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                        Turns water into wine
                        Floats on water
                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                        amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                        amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                        amro@todon.nl
                        wrote last edited by
                        #17

                        @Buster Yeastus! πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                          @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

                          ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                          ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                          ozzelot@mstdn.social
                          wrote last edited by
                          #18

                          @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                            Turns water into wine
                            Floats on water
                            Makes bread for 5000 people
                            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                            nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                            nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                            nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                            wrote last edited by
                            #19

                            @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                              Turns water into wine
                              Floats on water
                              Makes bread for 5000 people
                              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                              travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                              travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                              travisfw@fosstodon.org
                              wrote last edited by
                              #20

                              @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                              Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                @agowa338 @Buster
                                The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                                β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                                "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                                msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                msbellows@c.im
                                wrote last edited by
                                #21

                                @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                  @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                  The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                  psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #22

                                  @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                  msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                    Turns water into wine
                                    Floats on water
                                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                    rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                    rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                    rk@mastodon.well.com
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #23

                                    @Buster

                                    Is made of bread. Or the other way around, anyway. Sometimes. Kinda.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                                      @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      msbellows@c.im
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #24

                                      @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                      psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                        @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                        psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #25

                                        @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                          Turns water into wine
                                          Floats on water
                                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                          _thegeoff@mastodon.social_ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          _thegeoff@mastodon.social_ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          _thegeoff@mastodon.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #26

                                          @Buster
                                          Our microbe,
                                          Which is basically everywhere,
                                          Saccharomyces be thy name.
                                          Thy kingdom Fungi,
                                          Thy phylum Ascomycota,
                                          On earth, as it is in the ocean.
                                          Give us this day our daily bread,
                                          And forgive us our infections,
                                          As we forgive those who gave us infections.
                                          For thine is the power,
                                          An- and aerobically,
                                          For far longer than us.
                                          A mould.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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