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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

    Turns water into wine
    Floats on water
    Makes bread for 5000 people
    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

    psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
    psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
    psneeze@mastodon.ie
    wrote last edited by
    #6

    @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

    akamran@indieweb.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

      Turns water into wine
      Floats on water
      Makes bread for 5000 people
      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

      lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
      lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
      lasse@social.tchncs.de
      wrote last edited by
      #7

      @Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • agowa338@chaos.socialA agowa338@chaos.social

        @Buster

        Heals people => penicillin

        Oh my, that explains everything!

        Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

        Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
        msbellows@c.im
        wrote last edited by
        #8

        @agowa338 @Buster
        The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

        β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

        "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

        agowa338@chaos.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

          @agowa338 @Buster
          The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

          β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

          "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

          agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
          agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
          agowa338@chaos.social
          wrote last edited by
          #9

          @msbellows @Buster

          Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

          * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

          Christianity is just a big cooking club.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
            cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
            cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
            wrote last edited by
            #10

            @Buster

            Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

            [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

              Turns water into wine
              Floats on water
              Makes bread for 5000 people
              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

              bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
              bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
              bololacertus@mstdn.mx
              wrote last edited by
              #11

              @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                Turns water into wine
                Floats on water
                Makes bread for 5000 people
                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                nigenet@mastodon.social
                wrote last edited by
                #12

                @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

                ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                  Turns water into wine
                  Floats on water
                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                  yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                  yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                  yuvalne@433.world
                  wrote last edited by
                  #13

                  @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                  celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                    Turns water into wine
                    Floats on water
                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                    jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jasper@mastodon.nl
                    wrote last edited by
                    #14

                    @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                      @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                      celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                      celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                      celesteh@hachyderm.io
                      wrote last edited by
                      #15

                      @Yuvalne @Buster

                      This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                        @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                        akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                        akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                        akamran@indieweb.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #16

                        @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                          Turns water into wine
                          Floats on water
                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                          amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                          amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                          amro@todon.nl
                          wrote last edited by
                          #17

                          @Buster Yeastus! πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                            @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus πŸ™‚

                            ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                            ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                            ozzelot@mstdn.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #18

                            @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                              Turns water into wine
                              Floats on water
                              Makes bread for 5000 people
                              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                              nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                              nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                              nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                              wrote last edited by
                              #19

                              @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                Turns water into wine
                                Floats on water
                                Makes bread for 5000 people
                                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                travisfw@fosstodon.org
                                wrote last edited by
                                #20

                                @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                                Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                  @agowa338 @Buster
                                  The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                                  β€œAgain he asked, β€˜What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                                  "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  msbellows@c.im
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #21

                                  @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                  The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                  psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                    @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                    The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                    psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                    psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                    psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #22

                                    @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                    msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • buster@woof.groupB buster@woof.group

                                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                      Turns water into wine
                                      Floats on water
                                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                      rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                      rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                      rk@mastodon.well.com
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #23

                                      @Buster

                                      Is made of bread. Or the other way around, anyway. Sometimes. Kinda.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                                        @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        msbellows@c.im
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #24

                                        @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                        psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                          @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                          psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #25

                                          @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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