Important updates to your Torment Nexus subscription plan.
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@joesteel Ah yes, well the silver lining is that the subscription will now automatically continue after your death.
@jamesthomson is there a mortality discount?
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Important updates to your Torment Nexus subscription plan.
@jamesthomson By continuing to use the Torment Nexus you acknowledge our right to psychological and physical torture of you and your family, and the sale of your personal data.
By refusing to use the Torment Nexus you acknowledge our right to pursue you relentlessly on social media, in real life, and in your dreams, in order to force you to use the Torment Nexus.
Choose wisely.
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@jamesthomson is there a mortality discount?
@joesteel 50% off your mortality, effective immediately.
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Important updates to your Torment Nexus subscription plan.
@jamesthomson
Tap here to agree to the new Torment Nexus terms of service -
Important updates to your Torment Nexus subscription plan.
We're focusing more on the Nexus, and less on the Torment. Don't worry, though. The new and advanced Nexus comes with additional Torment options. If you would like to opt out of these Torment options, please send a self-stamped fully addressed envelope containing one live dart frog to...
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Important updates to your Torment Nexus subscription plan.
@jamesthomson Be sure to subscribe to our new tier Torment Nexus+ with fewer* ads
* May not apply in all regions
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Important updates to your Torment Nexus subscription plan.
Oh no, not another subscription change. Are they adding more features or just hiking the price again?
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Important updates to your Torment Nexus subscription plan.
@jamesthomson I for one welcome the coming of our Torment Nexus overlords!
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