I went on Facebook (I know I know I know) and they are selling tinfoil hats.

[emma@orbital.horse]

@thestrangelet @futurebird you gotta wrap your neithers in tin foil otherwise the Bluetooth will trans you.

[ogjester@pnw.zone]

@futurebird they landed on a price of $88? Weird how that number keeps coming up with these people… /s

[ggmcbg@mstdn.plus]

@futurebird

If I was just a skosh more evil I'd be selling all kinds of geegaws and doodads to the superstitious New-age Dark Age dipshits.

[mshiltonj@mastodon.online]

@futurebird they be "havn" ur money

[linuxandyarn@hachyderm.io]

@clayfoot @futurebird Do they sell chaps to go with their chafes?

[linuxandyarn@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird @clayfoot Athena.

[bruce@darkmoon.social]

@futurebird

Someone should test that thing and see if it blocks any radio waves at all.

Also, I bet there are people who complain their Bluetooth ear buds don't work when they wear that.

[notthatkindofdoctor@mastodon.social]

@futurebird
Does my face have some sort of built-in wifi block? Why is my scalp so vulnerable when the holes are all in the uncovered parts of the skull?

[su_liam@mas.to]

@futurebird I remember this from Joe vs. the Volcano. Spoiler: it’s a lie.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@bruce

... or complain that they do work...

[sollat@masto.ai]

@SRLevine @futurebird
I only ever use it on Safari so I can kill it with fire (ensure logout).

[catmisgivings@stranger.social]

@futurebird part of me is like nooo and part of me is like, wouldn't it have been easier to find a Faraday bag in the right hat size

[djm62@beige.party]

@david_chisnall @xlrobot @futurebird Faraday Onesie?

[groxx@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird I'm curious how many people return them because their wireless earbuds don't work with it

[seconduniverse@autistics.life]

@futurebird I know a maker of techy woo devices and they are a believer. Technically skilled, but also a firm believer in crystal, energies, auras and vibrations.

[groxx@hachyderm.io]

@lemgandi @david_chisnall @futurebird I'm sure they're aware - the parabolic antenna that the hat makes is aimed down, increasing your reception of the Earth's healing Schumann resonance waves. It's like dial-up for the collective unconscious (slower access is healthier, it's low glycemic index information and the opposite of unhealthy 5G).

[adrake@sfba.social]

@futurebird @oldclumsy_nowmad @muddle the microwaves in your oven are pretty common and would definitely hurt your brain (and ~every other part of you), but thankfully the ovens come with integrated shielding that's a lot better than 99.7%

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@adrake @oldclumsy_nowmad @muddle

OK I was assuming we were not sticking our head in microwave. But very good point.

[kali@discuss.systems]

@futurebird blocks internet from my brain ? sign me up.

[netraven@hear-me.social]

@futurebird once upon a time, there used to be a $500 5G blocker that advertised to create a bubble around the user, and the ad art was people literally enjoying life in a bubble. I bet they laughed all the way to the bank.