My grandmother died today.
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
My cousins are much younger than me (27 and 24 I think) and they and their parents live out of state so it's strange to think I just maybe won't really see them anymore? I really like them as people but we're so far apart in age that we're not super close. I saw them most thanksgivings and every Christmas and usually in the summer but now there's no central place and nowhere for them to stay.
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn I'm so very sorry for this loss to you and your family. May her memory be a blessing to each of you.
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
-
My cousins are much younger than me (27 and 24 I think) and they and their parents live out of state so it's strange to think I just maybe won't really see them anymore? I really like them as people but we're so far apart in age that we're not super close. I saw them most thanksgivings and every Christmas and usually in the summer but now there's no central place and nowhere for them to stay.
I got to really talk to my oldest (still much-younger) cousin alone in a way I haven't before. They're transmasc non-binary and live in a TINY town in Washington State which I think is hard for a number of reasons (they're a wildlife biologist and love their job but haven't found their people). Wise beyond their years; we have very different versions and memories of grandma because of the 23-year age gap between us but have been having some good conversations about those memories. Not sure if I'll really see them much in person now, which is sad.
-
I got to really talk to my oldest (still much-younger) cousin alone in a way I haven't before. They're transmasc non-binary and live in a TINY town in Washington State which I think is hard for a number of reasons (they're a wildlife biologist and love their job but haven't found their people). Wise beyond their years; we have very different versions and memories of grandma because of the 23-year age gap between us but have been having some good conversations about those memories. Not sure if I'll really see them much in person now, which is sad.
@Bronwyn Perhaps it is time to become the new matriarch? I have wondered about this myself, being the eldest of the grandchildren on my mother's side.
My grandmother was the organising, binding force on that side of the family, but she passed away a few years ago, and the cousins that organised our first get-together since are busy moms who haven't gotten around to another one.
It takes a good chunk of time and energy, though, and it's tough to do well when you're also kind of tapped out yourself, and that's before you get to any complications caused by interpersonal dynamics
-
@Bronwyn Perhaps it is time to become the new matriarch? I have wondered about this myself, being the eldest of the grandchildren on my mother's side.
My grandmother was the organising, binding force on that side of the family, but she passed away a few years ago, and the cousins that organised our first get-together since are busy moms who haven't gotten around to another one.
It takes a good chunk of time and energy, though, and it's tough to do well when you're also kind of tapped out yourself, and that's before you get to any complications caused by interpersonal dynamics
@sindarina it would also take not living in a one-bedroom apartment because she had a place everyone from out of state could actually stay at
-
@sindarina it would also take not living in a one-bedroom apartment because she had a place everyone from out of state could actually stay at
@Bronwyn Heh, yeah, that's another challenge. Do you at least have a shared chat channel or something that has everyone in it?
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn So sorry, Bronwyn.
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn I'm so sorry, Bronwyn!
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn bronwyn, I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a special person. May her memory be a blessing to you.
-
I got to really talk to my oldest (still much-younger) cousin alone in a way I haven't before. They're transmasc non-binary and live in a TINY town in Washington State which I think is hard for a number of reasons (they're a wildlife biologist and love their job but haven't found their people). Wise beyond their years; we have very different versions and memories of grandma because of the 23-year age gap between us but have been having some good conversations about those memories. Not sure if I'll really see them much in person now, which is sad.
@Bronwyn get everyone's contact info when you gather for your grandmother's funeral/celebration of life (if you're having one).
Set up a family text chat just to keep in touch. And schedule a zoom now and then to see each other if desired. It isn't a replacement for being in person, but it connects people across physical divides. -
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person.
May part of her memory find a warm place in your heart -
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn my condolences for such a great loss.
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn 🫂
My stepdad is basically too young to be my dad. Not biologically, but he's only 13 years older. So I've lost my parents, but at this stage stepdad doesn't feel like a parent. And with my actual parents gone, it feels really weird. -
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn Embracing you this morning. She sounds like the most wonderful person, and I’m glad you had her as your family.
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn Sympathies. Sorry to hear of such a loss but heartening that you had such a wonderful Grandmother who I'm sure played a pivotal part in your family and happily took this on at a later time in their life than most. Very best wishes and much empathy.
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn looks like some very sweet memories entwined with very fresh grief. It's a strange world to navigate. Sending you comfort for your heart, and light for your feet.
-
My grandmother died today. It's been a long time coming but it's still sad.
I'm old to still have had a grandmother, but she was my dad's step-mom; his mom died when he was 9 and his dad married a much younger woman. But we never used the word "step-grandmother," she was my grandma from the day I was born.
She was not quite 39 when I was born, and had a 10-year-old and 13-year-old at home and it's only recently that I've fully realized how strange it must have been to become a grandparent at that stage of life.
But from the moment I was born, she was a dedicated grandmother, even while raising kids of her own.
She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 5-6 years ago and I thought the end was near then but she just kept going, and until recently, had a really good quality of life. I would pick her up and take her to lunch when I could (she'd always pay) at the Cheesecake Factory, which was her favorite.
She was the matriarch of our small extended family and things will be very different now.
@Bronwyn so sorry for what happened but I have passed through the same experience since yesterday!
I also lost my grandmother whom I had stayed a period of 3-4 yrs without meeting her!
I can say that it was my carelessness to see her again when she is going to be burried!
May her soul rest in the eternal peace! -
@Bronwyn 🫂
My stepdad is basically too young to be my dad. Not biologically, but he's only 13 years older. So I've lost my parents, but at this stage stepdad doesn't feel like a parent. And with my actual parents gone, it feels really weird.@raven yes my dad and grandma were only 14 years apart!
-
@raven yes my dad and grandma were only 14 years apart!
@Bronwyn Oh, for some reason I didn't even think about it... I still have my step-grandmother, and I'm in my late 50's. I think she's in her 80's now, but I haven't seen her for a few years. She used to travel and stay with each of her three kids for a month at a time, but she stopped traveling when she developed heart problems.
I kind of miss her, but I never knew her all that well. Definitely not close.
