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  3. If you have to do or participate in something in order to survive, it's not a privilege, right?

If you have to do or participate in something in order to survive, it's not a privilege, right?

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  • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
    revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
    revoluciana@chaosfem.tw
    wrote last edited by
    #1

    If you have to do or participate in something in order to survive, it's not a privilege, right? It can't possibly be? I feel like we've already established this. Am I wrong?

    revoluciana@chaosfem.twR aburka@hachyderm.ioA amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA lalah@sakurajima.moeL davidm_yeg@beige.partyD 11 Replies Last reply
    0
    • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

      If you have to do or participate in something in order to survive, it's not a privilege, right? It can't possibly be? I feel like we've already established this. Am I wrong?

      revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
      revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
      revoluciana@chaosfem.tw
      wrote last edited by
      #2

      I'm seriously asking, btw. Have I missed something?

      revoluciana@chaosfem.twR nicolaelle@chaosfem.twN 2 Replies Last reply
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      • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

        I'm seriously asking, btw. Have I missed something?

        revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
        revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
        revoluciana@chaosfem.tw
        wrote last edited by
        #3

        In reply to the question of privilege:

        revoluciana@chaosfem.twR thesquirrelfish@sfba.socialT 3 Replies Last reply
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        • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

          If you have to do or participate in something in order to survive, it's not a privilege, right? It can't possibly be? I feel like we've already established this. Am I wrong?

          aburka@hachyderm.ioA This user is from outside of this forum
          aburka@hachyderm.ioA This user is from outside of this forum
          aburka@hachyderm.io
          wrote last edited by
          #4

          @revoluciana what are you subposting here

          revoluciana@chaosfem.twR 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • aburka@hachyderm.ioA aburka@hachyderm.io

            @revoluciana what are you subposting here

            revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
            revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
            revoluciana@chaosfem.tw
            wrote last edited by
            #5

            @aburka a conversation IRL. Basically someone was insisting that trans women experience "male privilege" before transition.

            I've since sent them Julia Serrano's piece about being denied the closet.

            https://juliaserano.medium.com/why-are-amab-trans-people-denied-the-closet-7fd5c740ce30

            Even so. I just don't see what this other person was insisting, because if we were forced to participate in something or else be punished, and for the sake of survival, I can't see how that's a privilege.

            nicolaelle@chaosfem.twN gurre@mastodon.nuG 2 Replies Last reply
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            • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

              I'm seriously asking, btw. Have I missed something?

              nicolaelle@chaosfem.twN This user is from outside of this forum
              nicolaelle@chaosfem.twN This user is from outside of this forum
              nicolaelle@chaosfem.tw
              wrote last edited by
              #6

              @revoluciana

              I think the best way to respond to this.

              How many people, in response to anything involving the government spending money on someone other than themselves for those things that people need to survive, ask, "Can we afford that?"

              How often have we heard that question asked when their real meaning is, "Do we really have to spend money on *those* people?"

              And, ultimately, if it involves human lives - if it involves saving that "Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness" stuff - how can we not afford it?

              revoluciana@chaosfem.twR 1 Reply Last reply
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              • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                If you have to do or participate in something in order to survive, it's not a privilege, right? It can't possibly be? I feel like we've already established this. Am I wrong?

                amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA This user is from outside of this forum
                amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA This user is from outside of this forum
                amsomniac@mastodon.mit.edu
                wrote last edited by
                #7

                @revoluciana I've used my privilege to survive lots of times

                revoluciana@chaosfem.twR 1 Reply Last reply
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                • nicolaelle@chaosfem.twN nicolaelle@chaosfem.tw

                  @revoluciana

                  I think the best way to respond to this.

                  How many people, in response to anything involving the government spending money on someone other than themselves for those things that people need to survive, ask, "Can we afford that?"

                  How often have we heard that question asked when their real meaning is, "Do we really have to spend money on *those* people?"

                  And, ultimately, if it involves human lives - if it involves saving that "Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness" stuff - how can we not afford it?

                  revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                  revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                  revoluciana@chaosfem.tw
                  wrote last edited by
                  #8

                  @NicolaElle I hear you, but the context was different. Here's what I'm getting at:

                  https://chaosfem.tw/@revoluciana/116525401708449733

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA amsomniac@mastodon.mit.edu

                    @revoluciana I've used my privilege to survive lots of times

                    revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                    revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                    revoluciana@chaosfem.tw
                    wrote last edited by
                    #9

                    @amsomniac but that was *your* privilege.

                    Trans women are not men. We don't experience male privilege because we are not men-- it's not our privilege. We were forced under pain and punishment to perform a role for survival. That's not the same.

                    amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                      @amsomniac but that was *your* privilege.

                      Trans women are not men. We don't experience male privilege because we are not men-- it's not our privilege. We were forced under pain and punishment to perform a role for survival. That's not the same.

                      amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA This user is from outside of this forum
                      amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA This user is from outside of this forum
                      amsomniac@mastodon.mit.edu
                      wrote last edited by
                      #10

                      @revoluciana yeah nothing about it was male

                      revoluciana@chaosfem.twR 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                        @aburka a conversation IRL. Basically someone was insisting that trans women experience "male privilege" before transition.

                        I've since sent them Julia Serrano's piece about being denied the closet.

                        https://juliaserano.medium.com/why-are-amab-trans-people-denied-the-closet-7fd5c740ce30

                        Even so. I just don't see what this other person was insisting, because if we were forced to participate in something or else be punished, and for the sake of survival, I can't see how that's a privilege.

                        nicolaelle@chaosfem.twN This user is from outside of this forum
                        nicolaelle@chaosfem.twN This user is from outside of this forum
                        nicolaelle@chaosfem.tw
                        wrote last edited by
                        #11

                        @revoluciana @aburka

                        I think @MzAprilDaniels had the best response to any sort of "privilege":

                        “The dirty little secret about growing up as a boy is if you’re not any good at it, they will torture you daily until you have the good graces to kill yourself. The posturing and the dominance games are almost inescapable. It’s hard to walk from one end of school to the other without getting shoulder-checked in the halls. Locker rooms are a forgotten circle of Hell. God forbid anyone ever catch you sketching flowers in class, or reading a book that’s “for girls.” Maybe for people who really are boys, that stuff works. Maybe it fits for them.

                        But I don’t get to fit. Not anywhere.”

                        Not much of a "privilege", is it?

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                          @aburka a conversation IRL. Basically someone was insisting that trans women experience "male privilege" before transition.

                          I've since sent them Julia Serrano's piece about being denied the closet.

                          https://juliaserano.medium.com/why-are-amab-trans-people-denied-the-closet-7fd5c740ce30

                          Even so. I just don't see what this other person was insisting, because if we were forced to participate in something or else be punished, and for the sake of survival, I can't see how that's a privilege.

                          gurre@mastodon.nuG This user is from outside of this forum
                          gurre@mastodon.nuG This user is from outside of this forum
                          gurre@mastodon.nu
                          wrote last edited by
                          #12

                          @revoluciana

                          As a middle aged middle class cis-het white guy: oh, this expands and nuances my thoughts on privilege. Privilege forced on one due to a false understanding of who one is, feels like that could be snatched away in a instant and turned into danger. So "play along" with the lie in order to survive? Falter in holding the facade could lead to not surviving.
                          Or am I completely misunderstanding?

                          Feels like not actual privilege though. But might look like it on the surface?

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                            If you have to do or participate in something in order to survive, it's not a privilege, right? It can't possibly be? I feel like we've already established this. Am I wrong?

                            lalah@sakurajima.moeL This user is from outside of this forum
                            lalah@sakurajima.moeL This user is from outside of this forum
                            lalah@sakurajima.moe
                            wrote last edited by
                            #13

                            @revoluciana they're not mutually exclusive categories... if for example someone is mixed race but white passing, it's not good that they have to hide their heritage to avoid racism at work but they are still better off than people unable to pass as white

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                              If you have to do or participate in something in order to survive, it's not a privilege, right? It can't possibly be? I feel like we've already established this. Am I wrong?

                              davidm_yeg@beige.partyD This user is from outside of this forum
                              davidm_yeg@beige.partyD This user is from outside of this forum
                              davidm_yeg@beige.party
                              wrote last edited by
                              #14

                              @revoluciana

                              ‘Privilege’ isn’t a thing you do… 🤷‍♂️

                              Like: as a cis white man in north america I am accorded all kinds of privilege by the people and systems in our society whether I want them or not, whether I ask for them or not, whether I fight and try to dismantle them or lean in and embrace or pursue them.

                              How that intersects with trans experience is something I can’t even begin to try to guess at.

                              revoluciana@chaosfem.twR 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                                If you have to do or participate in something in order to survive, it's not a privilege, right? It can't possibly be? I feel like we've already established this. Am I wrong?

                                montgomerygator@fouroclockfarms.clubM This user is from outside of this forum
                                montgomerygator@fouroclockfarms.clubM This user is from outside of this forum
                                montgomerygator@fouroclockfarms.club
                                wrote last edited by
                                #15

                                @revoluciana It's all relative and tied into deservidness narratives.

                                It's probably healthier to just remember that people out there have it harder than you, but your problems also matter.

                                Some people try to turn it into this idea that you can't complain about your problems, because you are in a better position but that's kinda being an asshole.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA amsomniac@mastodon.mit.edu

                                  @revoluciana yeah nothing about it was male

                                  revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  revoluciana@chaosfem.tw
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #16

                                  @amsomniac I truly apologize. I didn't mean to imply that yours was male privilege and that definitely looks like it. I'm in an argument IRL with someone which is getting heated and then I was speaking generally to you to my point in response to you and it came off really shitty. I'm very sorry.

                                  amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                                    @amsomniac I truly apologize. I didn't mean to imply that yours was male privilege and that definitely looks like it. I'm in an argument IRL with someone which is getting heated and then I was speaking generally to you to my point in response to you and it came off really shitty. I'm very sorry.

                                    amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    amsomniac@mastodon.mit.eduA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    amsomniac@mastodon.mit.edu
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #17

                                    @revoluciana oh no worries. I hope you win the argument

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • davidm_yeg@beige.partyD davidm_yeg@beige.party

                                      @revoluciana

                                      ‘Privilege’ isn’t a thing you do… 🤷‍♂️

                                      Like: as a cis white man in north america I am accorded all kinds of privilege by the people and systems in our society whether I want them or not, whether I ask for them or not, whether I fight and try to dismantle them or lean in and embrace or pursue them.

                                      How that intersects with trans experience is something I can’t even begin to try to guess at.

                                      revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                                      revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                                      revoluciana@chaosfem.tw
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #18

                                      @DavidM_yeg that's inherently my point. This is helpful.

                                      You're afforded these things because of the way society and systems reward you simply because of who you are.

                                      Even if a trans woman *was* afforded these things before coming out (we're often not afforded these things), it's not afforded because of who she is, but because of who she was punished into pretending to be. In other words, she had to sacrifice in order to get those things. She had to sacrifice her entire self through torture and pain in order to have them. That doesn't feel like privilege when it's paid for through sacrifice.

                                      davidm_yeg@beige.partyD 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                                        In reply to the question of privilege:

                                        revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        revoluciana@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        revoluciana@chaosfem.tw
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Here's what I'm getting at.

                                        Trans women don't experience male privilege before coming out. It's not a privilege if you have to sacrifice everything you are in order to obtain it. And in the case of trans women, we don't even sacrifice who we are in order to obtain male privilege, we do it just to survive. I'm having such a difficult time believing it's privilege when it's bought and paid for, especially at such a high price.

                                        natasha@lgbtqia.spaceN celestestormysea@yiff.lifeC faithisleaping@anarres.familyF bri7@social.treehouse.systemsB melissabeartrix@gives.hugz.onlineM 10 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • revoluciana@chaosfem.twR revoluciana@chaosfem.tw

                                          Here's what I'm getting at.

                                          Trans women don't experience male privilege before coming out. It's not a privilege if you have to sacrifice everything you are in order to obtain it. And in the case of trans women, we don't even sacrifice who we are in order to obtain male privilege, we do it just to survive. I'm having such a difficult time believing it's privilege when it's bought and paid for, especially at such a high price.

                                          natasha@lgbtqia.spaceN This user is from outside of this forum
                                          natasha@lgbtqia.spaceN This user is from outside of this forum
                                          natasha@lgbtqia.space
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #20

                                          @revoluciana I'm not sure.
                                          I mean, you got a point.
                                          But there are several life experiences, some are male related that we don't and never liked to do, other are human experiences made easy by presenting male.
                                          It happens also for trans men.

                                          revoluciana@chaosfem.twR 1 Reply Last reply
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