Annual compliance training day!

[gwcoffey@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd Do you have to take tests? Ours are always like "Which of the following is unethical" and the choices are like "eat a lollipop, visit a friend, admire some art, or murder children".

And then the next question will be some esoteric thing so far down the decision tree I may as well be guessing.

Always makes me laugh.

[nicolai@babka.social]

@dramypsyd these days inhabitants of Germany aren’t able to do that either outside of Germany. But in the old days after the war you could declare a bribe a tax deductible business expense if you bribed for professional purposes as long as it happened abroad

[paul_ipv6@infosec.exchange]

@dramypsyd

i'm waiting for the mandatory annual training video, 1 hour long, that re-asserts that the ocean contains water and the gravity still seems to be working...

[swoonie@mastodon.ie]

@dramypsyd

[drchaos@sauropods.win]

@catsalad @dramypsyd A cookie is below the amount I'm required to report...

My grandfather used to leave a pack of cigarettes on the desk when he left, apparently if the person didn't say anything it meant your could make some sort of... deal.... with them...

[jeffgrigg@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd @stevegis_ssg

Yea; it wasn't long ago I was at a place where all of us employees had to take half a day of "update" training, as a result of a legal settlement. It did seem that our company's defense of management actions that clearly and obviously violated ethics and laws already clearly covered by the training, just "hadn't received sufficient training," and so the "remedy" was that the "gap in training" needed to be "covered," to avoid similar in the future.

[golgaloth@writing.exchange]

@dramypsyd But what about if an Australian offers you two chickens *and* a duck? How could you possibly resist that bribe?

(Okay, I don't have a duck, but I can get one on short notice).

[marcusp@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd our organisation’s compliance training never talks about bribes within the organisation, which seems like a pretty large loophole.

[dramypsyd@ohai.social]

@mensrea Nope! But they did tell me that nobody is allowed to sexually harass me

[dramypsyd@ohai.social]

@gwcoffey I once had a HIPAA training test ask me if I should dispose of records by 1) secure shredding, 2) never dispose of records, or 3) throw them on the floor

[gwcoffey@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd Ah I see we take tests from the same publisher.

[bwacton@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd yes but just think of all the CPD credits you’re getting!

[dramypsyd@ohai.social]

Hey can I say something? In 2026 people should not need to be told that men can be harassed too. Fuck you if you think a man can’t be a victim of harassment.

[chrisoliver@indieweb.social]

This is still my favorite depiction of bribery from a compliance training I had to take once.

[alex@pawb.fun]

@dramypsyd To support your point, I experienced harassment back in the ‘before times’ when I thought I was a guy. And in multiple occasions.

People really shouldn’t need to be told that anyone can be a victim of harassment. That should just be a known fact in the Year of Perpetual Horrors 2026.

[dramypsyd@ohai.social]

@alex Right! Why is this news to people? Unless we are immediately firing anyone who gets that question wrong

[alex@pawb.fun]

@dramypsyd We should clarify what kind of ‘firing’ we're talking about.

HR paperwork, or like… fired out of a cannon, dropped through a trapdoor…

[quadrivial@beige.party]

@dramypsyd very important to know. 🤪

[phosphenes@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd

Today these seem quaint. But can I take 2 billion dollars from Saudi Arabia to attack Iran? Huh Huh pleeease

[jane_jordan@dragonscave.space]

@dramypsyd I go through the same thing, twice-yearly, basically every six months about the same concepts.