Annual compliance training day!

[renata@cosocial.ca]

@dramypsyd @catsalad Loss of Potential Bribery Opportunities should be a crime!

[phil@macaw.social]

@dramypsyd guess it's the various government leaders reviewing this and be like "wow this is not allowed? We should totally let employees know!"

[the_turtle@mastodon.sdf.org]

@catsalad @dramypsyd
I want... a shrubbery!

[tkissing@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd Well, you are making jokes here, but look at the White House to see what happens if people don't get this kind of training...

[deepmud@mas.to]

@dramypsyd you are to leave all that fraud and bribery to your betters. You don't have a billion dollars, so you are not allowed to act like you do!

[philosophicalfish@mstdn.ca]

@dramypsyd It's important to remember that not everyone functions on the same level of morality and ethics that you do. "Don't do the shitty thing" doesn't necessarily cross everyone's mind as the perspective of others isn't necessarily a factor.

[gwcoffey@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd Do you have to take tests? Ours are always like "Which of the following is unethical" and the choices are like "eat a lollipop, visit a friend, admire some art, or murder children".

And then the next question will be some esoteric thing so far down the decision tree I may as well be guessing.

Always makes me laugh.

[nicolai@babka.social]

@dramypsyd these days inhabitants of Germany aren’t able to do that either outside of Germany. But in the old days after the war you could declare a bribe a tax deductible business expense if you bribed for professional purposes as long as it happened abroad

[paul_ipv6@infosec.exchange]

@dramypsyd

i'm waiting for the mandatory annual training video, 1 hour long, that re-asserts that the ocean contains water and the gravity still seems to be working...

[swoonie@mastodon.ie]

@dramypsyd

[drchaos@sauropods.win]

@catsalad @dramypsyd A cookie is below the amount I'm required to report...

My grandfather used to leave a pack of cigarettes on the desk when he left, apparently if the person didn't say anything it meant your could make some sort of... deal.... with them...

[jeffgrigg@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd @stevegis_ssg

Yea; it wasn't long ago I was at a place where all of us employees had to take half a day of "update" training, as a result of a legal settlement. It did seem that our company's defense of management actions that clearly and obviously violated ethics and laws already clearly covered by the training, just "hadn't received sufficient training," and so the "remedy" was that the "gap in training" needed to be "covered," to avoid similar in the future.

[golgaloth@writing.exchange]

@dramypsyd But what about if an Australian offers you two chickens *and* a duck? How could you possibly resist that bribe?

(Okay, I don't have a duck, but I can get one on short notice).

[marcusp@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd our organisation’s compliance training never talks about bribes within the organisation, which seems like a pretty large loophole.

[dramypsyd@ohai.social]

@mensrea Nope! But they did tell me that nobody is allowed to sexually harass me

[dramypsyd@ohai.social]

@gwcoffey I once had a HIPAA training test ask me if I should dispose of records by 1) secure shredding, 2) never dispose of records, or 3) throw them on the floor

[gwcoffey@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd Ah I see we take tests from the same publisher.

[bwacton@mastodon.social]

@dramypsyd yes but just think of all the CPD credits you’re getting!

[dramypsyd@ohai.social]

Hey can I say something? In 2026 people should not need to be told that men can be harassed too. Fuck you if you think a man can’t be a victim of harassment.

[chrisoliver@indieweb.social]

This is still my favorite depiction of bribery from a compliance training I had to take once.