Et tu, Starbucks?

[tombuildsstuff@hachyderm.io]

@paul anything for ~that ai stock rise~ shareholder value

[mrrooni@mastodon.social]

@paul I bet the baristas just looooove this idea.

[vmachiel@mastodon.nl]

@paul why does an app like that have push notifications?

[the_alsatian@mastodon.social]

@paul A Slop Venti, please.

[nonproductive@mastodon.social]

@paul “what should I get from Starbucks?”
Coffee

“I think I want something to wake me up.”
Coffee

“Maybe something sweeter”
Coffee with sugar

“Why do you keep suggesting coffee? Isn’t there anything else?”
It’s not just coffee, it’s an acidic caffeinated beverage - and you’re very astute for asking that.

“Ok, but what are my other choices?”
It seems like you’re stuck, maybe you should take a break.

“No, I just can’t decide what I want.”
It seems like you’re in crisis…

[freediverx@mastodon.social]

@paul
My cup of reasons not to do business with Starbucks is already overflowing.

[alahmnat@woof.tech]

@paul I'm so tired.

[jaredwhite@indieweb.social]

@paul At least it'll be fun to mock this endlessly. To whit:

Jared White (ResistanceNet ✊) (@jaredwhite@indieweb.social)

waaaaa, I need a bot to tell me what coffee I like to drink! waaaaa, I don’t have any opinion about coffee all by myself, I need the robots to tell me! woah, I'm just a wittle baby and I'm so scawed to choose! 🍼 https://fortune.com/2026/04/15/starbucks-chatgpt-drink-recommendations-ai-backlash/

Indieweb.Social (indieweb.social)

[tho99@mendeddrum.org]

@paul logical next step after vibe brewing all these years, maybe they can give up claiming to serve coffee

[jason@logoff.website]

@paul well the problem is less them using AI and more you seem to have something misconfigured that this alert was allowed to appear.

[eshumarneedi@mastodon.social]

@paul Stock just went up by 4000 points.

[spitfire@mastodon.social]

@paul maybe it’d suggest adding stuff like cement to your coffee?