Have you ever ghosted someone?

[zappes@mastodon.online]

@alice Sadly, ghosting is my default mode of behaving. AuDHD often does that. And it really doesn't mean I don't like you, I just can't be expected to "keep in touch".

[longspeak@dice.camp]

@alice Making sure an old man doesn't misunderstand... I have cut off all contact with people and disappeared from their lives... but never without talking to them first. I *think* that wasn't ghosting, but if it was, then I have.

I'm also a bad friend and am easy to lose contact with, but there's not intent there. I'm just a self-absorbed asshole who forget to take other people into account.

[js_06@nrw.social]

@alice all of them done & experienced. nevermind..

[miss_rodent@girlcock.club]

@alice Yes, usually accidentally - especially on dating apps, a lot of folks just vanished in the flood of needy dudes I never replied to at all but filled my inbox - or because they managed to accumulate a large number of red flags in a short period of time (usually before, or during, a first date) and at least some of those red flags indicated that having the 'there will not be a (first/second) date' convo was gonna go badly.
And a few times for more direct safety reasons.

[rinavolpina@rubber.social]

@alice in my defence, they had just outed themselves as a GamerGater and transphobe

[miss_rodent@girlcock.club]

@alice Of those listed, all but the known for years one - I've never *intentionally* ghosted someone I had known for years - though I have fallen out of contact with people, or not interacted for several years. Usually on crossing paths again or reconnecting somehow in those cases I tend to pick back up wherever we'd left off without issue - no 'friendship decay' - but have had people upset about it still [no idea why they didn't contact me in that time then??]

[fettlaus@social.tchncs.de]

@alice I'm missing "ADHD/Autism" as an answer then. Demand avoidance is sometimes just such a huge problem.

[elizafox@social.treehouse.systems]

@alice I did and do but only when a person makes me feel unsafe or if they cross a line so abhorrent there just isn’t coming back from it. Like treating me like crap.

[killerqueenlena@transfem.social]

@alice@lgbtqia.space ADHD makes me sometimes Ghost people without meaning to

[flamecat@bark.lgbt]

@alice I only ghost someone if I get bad vibes from them and we didn't have much contact before. Most of the time that relates to chasers on dating apps. Never done it with people who I have interacted with more and in these context it's more common that contact just fizzles out.

[eruonna@lgbtqia.space]

@alice
Yes, accidentally (thanks AuDHD) and after knowing him for several years. We were friends in college, and I tried to keep the connection going after we graduated, but after exchanging a few messages, I got stuck on a response, and the longer I went without saying anything, the more stressful it got for me, so I eventually just let it go.

I did reconnect with him a few months ago, but when I suggested we take the conversation off LinkedIn (I know, I know), he stopped responding.

It is possible there are some people on dating apps who feel like I ghosted them after a little conversation, but my feeling would have been more like "this conversation died of natural causes, and I don't feel like resurrecting it."

[aprazeth@mstdn.social]

@alice

I did, unintentionally (yay for ADHD) and also intentionally.

It was a, let's call it unhealthy, relationship and they kept overstepping boundaries.

I saw no other way.

Other times (yes plural) is because I simply did not wish to spend any spoons on them anymore.

But mostly, ADHD. So if I ever not get in touch feel free to remind me. I can get stuck in my own head

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@Tarnport yeah, I think they'd have called it ghosting, but I saw it as having reached the end of understanding and deciding not to keep going.