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CIRCLE WITH A DOT

  1. Home
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  3. I just can't with people sometimes

I just can't with people sometimes

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  • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB burnoutqueen@todon.nl

    I don't "identify as" anything.
    Other people might "identify as" whatever they want. That's fine.

    As for me though? I'm not "identifying as" a woman. I am one. I know it in my heart to be the truth, and I have always known it this way. The thought of growing up to be an old man is literally something that viscerally made me miserable. The thought of living as a male is my worst horror, my greatest fear. Having my body stolen from me, living as the man who isn't there.

    And doing the opposite just feels natural to me, now that I've let my guard down. I could not imagine me in my distant future even as a kid being anything other than an old lady. I feel in my transition that I'm leaving where I dropped off at puberty. Like I have the chance to correct the record and make things right, so I'm not a walking Chappel Roan song for all eternity

    burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
    burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
    burnoutqueen@todon.nl
    wrote last edited by
    #5

    This wasn't some woke cultural imposition. This wasn't some thing I did because I decided "why not".

    I am transitioning because I need to in order to stay a sane individual. I need to "transition" (the lingo society uses) because I need my inside to match my outside. The alternative is a mental death.

    burnoutqueen@todon.nlB 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB burnoutqueen@todon.nl

      This wasn't some woke cultural imposition. This wasn't some thing I did because I decided "why not".

      I am transitioning because I need to in order to stay a sane individual. I need to "transition" (the lingo society uses) because I need my inside to match my outside. The alternative is a mental death.

      burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
      burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
      burnoutqueen@todon.nl
      wrote last edited by
      #6

      The cultural performance of gender is something that I'm consciously doing because I like the femme style. I like it because it emphasizes the parts of me I want to emphasize within a social context.

      But when you strip it all down, I would be trans without the social construction of gender. It's a core part of my brain functioning, independent of any outside influence. I need my body to be at least somewhat female* because my brain structure demands it. In the same way I don't always focus good because of my ADHD. I'm not *choosing* to be this way, my dopamine circuits are just wonky

      * I'm nb but I heavily lean in one direction

      burnoutqueen@todon.nlB 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB burnoutqueen@todon.nl

        The cultural performance of gender is something that I'm consciously doing because I like the femme style. I like it because it emphasizes the parts of me I want to emphasize within a social context.

        But when you strip it all down, I would be trans without the social construction of gender. It's a core part of my brain functioning, independent of any outside influence. I need my body to be at least somewhat female* because my brain structure demands it. In the same way I don't always focus good because of my ADHD. I'm not *choosing* to be this way, my dopamine circuits are just wonky

        * I'm nb but I heavily lean in one direction

        burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
        burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
        burnoutqueen@todon.nl
        wrote last edited by
        #7

        This is a personal rant and I don't want anyone to go into my replies to police my language. For the love of God.

        Just preemptively

        burnoutqueen@todon.nlB 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB burnoutqueen@todon.nl

          This is a personal rant and I don't want anyone to go into my replies to police my language. For the love of God.

          Just preemptively

          burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
          burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
          burnoutqueen@todon.nl
          wrote last edited by
          #8

          I'm just fed up.
          I just want to be one of the girls.
          I don't want people to be weird about it.
          I don't want people to think I'm "a biological dude" who "identifies as" whatever.

          I want people to actually fucking get it and not other me or treat me as anything less than what I am.

          burnoutqueen@todon.nlB 1 Reply Last reply
          1
          0
          • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB burnoutqueen@todon.nl

            I'm just fed up.
            I just want to be one of the girls.
            I don't want people to be weird about it.
            I don't want people to think I'm "a biological dude" who "identifies as" whatever.

            I want people to actually fucking get it and not other me or treat me as anything less than what I am.

            burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
            burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
            burnoutqueen@todon.nl
            wrote last edited by
            #9

            I'm done.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB burnoutqueen@todon.nl

              I don't "identify as" anything.
              Other people might "identify as" whatever they want. That's fine.

              As for me though? I'm not "identifying as" a woman. I am one. I know it in my heart to be the truth, and I have always known it this way. The thought of growing up to be an old man is literally something that viscerally made me miserable. The thought of living as a male is my worst horror, my greatest fear. Having my body stolen from me, living as the man who isn't there.

              And doing the opposite just feels natural to me, now that I've let my guard down. I could not imagine me in my distant future even as a kid being anything other than an old lady. I feel in my transition that I'm leaving where I dropped off at puberty. Like I have the chance to correct the record and make things right, so I'm not a walking Chappel Roan song for all eternity

              jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jon_kramer@mastodon.social
              wrote last edited by
              #10

              @burnoutqueen I find this interesting. I 'identify' as a brain in a male body. My brain, my soul if you will, is not male or female, it is just a separate being. I don't hold any identify as a male. That is just the meat bag that carries my brain around. It's like I would identify as a Ford if that was what car I got into. Or if I insisted I was a Ford if I was in a Pontiac.

              jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
                burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
                burnoutqueen@todon.nl
                wrote last edited by
                #11

                @Air_Quotes_Comedian this is a joke right

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jon_kramer@mastodon.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #12

                  @Air_Quotes_Comedian @burnoutqueen 1st belly laugh of the night. Thank you.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ jon_kramer@mastodon.social

                    @burnoutqueen I find this interesting. I 'identify' as a brain in a male body. My brain, my soul if you will, is not male or female, it is just a separate being. I don't hold any identify as a male. That is just the meat bag that carries my brain around. It's like I would identify as a Ford if that was what car I got into. Or if I insisted I was a Ford if I was in a Pontiac.

                    jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jon_kramer@mastodon.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #13

                    @burnoutqueen To be clear, I probably more closely identify with what your view of life is than those hyper male/female chads and karens that have to pretend to be ultra alpha males/females. Those folks are truly fucked up. The Tate brothers, or the Trad Wives of the world.

                    jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ jon_kramer@mastodon.social

                      @burnoutqueen To be clear, I probably more closely identify with what your view of life is than those hyper male/female chads and karens that have to pretend to be ultra alpha males/females. Those folks are truly fucked up. The Tate brothers, or the Trad Wives of the world.

                      jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jon_kramer@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jon_kramer@mastodon.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #14

                      @burnoutqueen You have stopped and thought about it. NOT something those hyper sexist idiots have done, at least I can't imagine them doing it...

                      1 Reply Last reply
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