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  3. My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi

My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi

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  • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

    My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
    It's a feature that I would regret.
    I just need a way to wash my pants.
    Not show them to the Internet.

    My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
    I'd value that least of all.
    It's already shielded from getting too hot.
    It doesn't need another firewall.

    My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
    That is just not useful for me.
    I want a place to chill my food.
    Not chat via TCP/IP.

    gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafeG This user is from outside of this forum
    gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafeG This user is from outside of this forum
    gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafe
    wrote last edited by
    #12

    My microwave is clearly best.
    It's never sent a SYN request.

    It might cook food unevenly
    but doesn't need DHCP.

    No updates needed, no network jack,
    for nation-states to come and hack.

    If power blinks, the clock will flash,
    but remote attacks can't make it crash.

    When your app's site decides to close
    I'll still enjoy my burritos.

    @neil

    mirabilos@toot.mirbsd.orgM 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • R relay@relay.infosec.exchange shared this topic
    • g7vkq@mastodon.radioG g7vkq@mastodon.radio

      @Dragon @neil @Aphrodite to be honest I have a pretty extensive smarthome setup…lots of intelligent devices controlled over WiFi. My dishwasher and washing machine also have WiFi…but never once have I used the WiFi nor have a desire to do so (talk to my wife and she says I’ve never used the machines either🫢). The timers on both devices work very well and supplant the need for any WiFi connection. I can’t see the use case…

      gilester45@twit.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
      gilester45@twit.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
      gilester45@twit.social
      wrote last edited by
      #13

      @g7vkq @Dragon @neil @Aphrodite Same. I've got WiFi power monitoring plugs on all interesting devices, and generate an "I'm finished" alert where necessary by watching for when the power use drops. This is optimal, in my opinion.

      I do not need not want apps or to manage updates on my domestic appliances.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • R relay@relay.an.exchange shared this topic
      • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

        My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
        It's a feature that I would regret.
        I just need a way to wash my pants.
        Not show them to the Internet.

        My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
        I'd value that least of all.
        It's already shielded from getting too hot.
        It doesn't need another firewall.

        My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
        That is just not useful for me.
        I want a place to chill my food.
        Not chat via TCP/IP.

        catdad@ohai.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
        catdad@ohai.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
        catdad@ohai.social
        wrote last edited by
        #14

        @neil Rage Against The (Aggressively Intrusive) Machine

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

          My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
          It's a feature that I would regret.
          I just need a way to wash my pants.
          Not show them to the Internet.

          My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
          I'd value that least of all.
          It's already shielded from getting too hot.
          It doesn't need another firewall.

          My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
          That is just not useful for me.
          I want a place to chill my food.
          Not chat via TCP/IP.

          saltywizard@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
          saltywizard@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
          saltywizard@beige.party
          wrote last edited by
          #15

          @neil

          do one for my dishwasher!

          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

            My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
            It's a feature that I would regret.
            I just need a way to wash my pants.
            Not show them to the Internet.

            My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
            I'd value that least of all.
            It's already shielded from getting too hot.
            It doesn't need another firewall.

            My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
            That is just not useful for me.
            I want a place to chill my food.
            Not chat via TCP/IP.

            reay@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
            reay@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
            reay@beige.party
            wrote last edited by
            #16

            @neil
            @FirewallDragons A problem so pervasive there’s poetry about it now. 🙂

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • saltywizard@beige.partyS saltywizard@beige.party

              @neil

              do one for my dishwasher!

              neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
              neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
              neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
              wrote last edited by
              #17

              @saltywizard

              Your dishwasher doesn't need Wi-Fi.
              It's there to clean off food and grease.
              It'll probably mess up, say "Server not found",
              And drop its DHCP lease.

              saltywizard@beige.partyS 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                It's a feature that I would regret.
                I just need a way to wash my pants.
                Not show them to the Internet.

                My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                I'd value that least of all.
                It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                It doesn't need another firewall.

                My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                That is just not useful for me.
                I want a place to chill my food.
                Not chat via TCP/IP.

                dynhafren@mastodon.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                dynhafren@mastodon.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                dynhafren@mastodon.world
                wrote last edited by
                #18

                @neil

                👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                  @saltywizard

                  Your dishwasher doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                  It's there to clean off food and grease.
                  It'll probably mess up, say "Server not found",
                  And drop its DHCP lease.

                  saltywizard@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
                  saltywizard@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
                  saltywizard@beige.party
                  wrote last edited by
                  #19

                  @neil

                  brilliant!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                    My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                    It's a feature that I would regret.
                    I just need a way to wash my pants.
                    Not show them to the Internet.

                    My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                    I'd value that least of all.
                    It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                    It doesn't need another firewall.

                    My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                    That is just not useful for me.
                    I want a place to chill my food.
                    Not chat via TCP/IP.

                    guillotine_jones@beige.partyG This user is from outside of this forum
                    guillotine_jones@beige.partyG This user is from outside of this forum
                    guillotine_jones@beige.party
                    wrote last edited by
                    #20

                    @neil
                    I hereby nominate this effort of yours, Neil, for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
                    We usually think of this prize as being for prose authors, but numerous poets have won it in the past, and I, for one, think you deserve to be among their number.

                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • guillotine_jones@beige.partyG guillotine_jones@beige.party

                      @neil
                      I hereby nominate this effort of yours, Neil, for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
                      We usually think of this prize as being for prose authors, but numerous poets have won it in the past, and I, for one, think you deserve to be among their number.

                      neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                      neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                      neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                      wrote last edited by
                      #21

                      @Guillotine_Jones

                      Aw, thank you!

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                        My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                        It's a feature that I would regret.
                        I just need a way to wash my pants.
                        Not show them to the Internet.

                        My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                        I'd value that least of all.
                        It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                        It doesn't need another firewall.

                        My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                        That is just not useful for me.
                        I want a place to chill my food.
                        Not chat via TCP/IP.

                        garybrazzell@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                        garybrazzell@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                        garybrazzell@mastodon.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #22

                        @neil My bathroom weight scale promised all these fancy features, but when the product arrived, none of the features worked with the scales own display or processing. I had to download the app. The app refused to work unless I gave it access to my camera and my contacts! Is the app going to take a picture of me on the bathroom and contact my friends about it? I deleted the app, and to this day, the scales show up as a device waiting for a connection to anyone in my house.

                        gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafeG 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • garybrazzell@mastodon.socialG garybrazzell@mastodon.social

                          @neil My bathroom weight scale promised all these fancy features, but when the product arrived, none of the features worked with the scales own display or processing. I had to download the app. The app refused to work unless I gave it access to my camera and my contacts! Is the app going to take a picture of me on the bathroom and contact my friends about it? I deleted the app, and to this day, the scales show up as a device waiting for a connection to anyone in my house.

                          gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafeG This user is from outside of this forum
                          gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafeG This user is from outside of this forum
                          gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafe
                          wrote last edited by
                          #23

                          @garybrazzell @neil I can't help but remember the post I saw recently where a woman discovered that her husband was cheating on her because her scale-app reported someone not-husband-weight using the scale while she wasn't home.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                            My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                            It's a feature that I would regret.
                            I just need a way to wash my pants.
                            Not show them to the Internet.

                            My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                            I'd value that least of all.
                            It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                            It doesn't need another firewall.

                            My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                            That is just not useful for me.
                            I want a place to chill my food.
                            Not chat via TCP/IP.

                            sborrill@justfollow.me.ukS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sborrill@justfollow.me.ukS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sborrill@justfollow.me.uk
                            wrote last edited by
                            #24

                            @neil I did an OTA firmware on my car yesterday which took three hours during which time it was not usable and even the alarm was disabled. It also woke me up this morning by messaging me to tell me it was fully charged. Another feature is that it provides its own WiFi hotspot for up to 8 devices to use. OTOH it seems to be incapable of playing a list of MP3s in random order unlike the old car.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                              My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                              It's a feature that I would regret.
                              I just need a way to wash my pants.
                              Not show them to the Internet.

                              My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                              I'd value that least of all.
                              It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                              It doesn't need another firewall.

                              My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                              That is just not useful for me.
                              I want a place to chill my food.
                              Not chat via TCP/IP.

                              ? Offline
                              ? Offline
                              Guest
                              wrote last edited by
                              #25

                              @neil We just got a new Whirlpool washer and dryer. No WiFi or Bluetooth. They replaced the Maytags that we bought 30 years ago that I've been nursing along for the past 10+ years with lots of repairs.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                                It's a feature that I would regret.
                                I just need a way to wash my pants.
                                Not show them to the Internet.

                                My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                I'd value that least of all.
                                It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                                It doesn't need another firewall.

                                My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                                That is just not useful for me.
                                I want a place to chill my food.
                                Not chat via TCP/IP.

                                tarix29@tech.lgbtT This user is from outside of this forum
                                tarix29@tech.lgbtT This user is from outside of this forum
                                tarix29@tech.lgbt
                                wrote last edited by
                                #26

                                @neil I live in an apartment building where the washing machine (1 for the whole building) has WiFi/Bluetooth. You have to pay to use it and if you don't use their proprietary app and pay with credit card (it does not accept coins or swipe/chip cards, only contactless) it charges you 50 cents more

                                neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN joonq@mastodon.socialJ 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • tarix29@tech.lgbtT tarix29@tech.lgbt

                                  @neil I live in an apartment building where the washing machine (1 for the whole building) has WiFi/Bluetooth. You have to pay to use it and if you don't use their proprietary app and pay with credit card (it does not accept coins or swipe/chip cards, only contactless) it charges you 50 cents more

                                  neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #27

                                  @tarix29 Oof 😞

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                    My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                                    It's a feature that I would regret.
                                    I just need a way to wash my pants.
                                    Not show them to the Internet.

                                    My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                    I'd value that least of all.
                                    It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                                    It doesn't need another firewall.

                                    My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                                    That is just not useful for me.
                                    I want a place to chill my food.
                                    Not chat via TCP/IP.

                                    P This user is from outside of this forum
                                    P This user is from outside of this forum
                                    proscience@toot.community
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #28

                                    @neil 🎯

                                    tbc

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                      My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                                      It's a feature that I would regret.
                                      I just need a way to wash my pants.
                                      Not show them to the Internet.

                                      My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                      I'd value that least of all.
                                      It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                                      It doesn't need another firewall.

                                      My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                                      That is just not useful for me.
                                      I want a place to chill my food.
                                      Not chat via TCP/IP.

                                      iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                                      iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                                      iwillyeah@mastodon.ie
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #29

                                      @neil immediately singing to the tune of Winona's Big Brown Beaver.

                                      - YouTube

                                      Auf YouTube findest du die angesagtesten Videos und Tracks. Außerdem kannst du eigene Inhalte hochladen und mit Freunden oder gleich der ganzen Welt teilen.

                                      favicon

                                      (www.youtube.com)

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafeG gumnos@mastodon.bsd.cafe

                                        My microwave is clearly best.
                                        It's never sent a SYN request.

                                        It might cook food unevenly
                                        but doesn't need DHCP.

                                        No updates needed, no network jack,
                                        for nation-states to come and hack.

                                        If power blinks, the clock will flash,
                                        but remote attacks can't make it crash.

                                        When your app's site decides to close
                                        I'll still enjoy my burritos.

                                        @neil

                                        mirabilos@toot.mirbsd.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        mirabilos@toot.mirbsd.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        mirabilos@toot.mirbsd.org
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #30

                                        @neil @gumnos got a new inverter microwave (soooooo good!) that doesn’t even need the rotating plate any more, and even at the same 100% as the older one is more energy-efficient (mug of milk takes less seconds to get warm enough), and it’s offline and "dumb".

                                        No need to accept unevenly warmed food.

                                        It’s also a Goddess-sent for cat food, not just things like leftover noodles.

                                        (Caso MI-30, if interested.)

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                          My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
                                          It's a feature that I would regret.
                                          I just need a way to wash my pants.
                                          Not show them to the Internet.

                                          My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
                                          I'd value that least of all.
                                          It's already shielded from getting too hot.
                                          It doesn't need another firewall.

                                          My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
                                          That is just not useful for me.
                                          I want a place to chill my food.
                                          Not chat via TCP/IP.

                                          joonq@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          joonq@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          joonq@mastodon.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #31

                                          @neil But how else are they going to show you ads if they dont have internet? Some ceo somewhere probably 😂

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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