Hold on.

[ibor@cyberpunk.lol]

@futurebird seems like having a brain isn't a FEMA job qualification either.

[ggmcbg@mstdn.plus]

@futurebird

That is a face of deep addictions and endless justifications. Those eyes never know what he's waking up to. Boy's lost all-day.
I wanna play poker with this dummy, I wouldn't even lose facing my hand out.

[ariadne@social.treehouse.systems]

@futurebird honestly waffle house on shrooms is probably amazing, i support the FEMA dude

[donray@mastodon.online]

@futurebird

In his defense (and this relates to his job), tornadoes don’t believe in object permanence either.

️

[troublewithwords@wandering.shop]

@futurebird Waffle house experts.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@troublewithwords

how does one get in on that gig? asking for a friend...

[troublewithwords@wandering.shop]

@futurebird Not so long ago heads of FEMA were the experts in Houses of Waffle. Now, though…

Waffle House Index - Wikipedia

(en.wikipedia.org)

[cinebox@masto.hackers.town]

@futurebird this guy

[msbellows@c.im]

@troublewithwords @futurebird Okay but to be fair the ability to teleport instantly to a Waffle House in an area affected by a natural disaster should reduce FEMA response times significantly.

[newpa_hasai@mastodon.social]

@futurebird I feel like someone has made an SCP like this at some point

[kelson@notes.kvibber.com]

@futurebird Strange that God would teleport him to a restaurant rather than, say, teleport emergency supplies to people who need them.

[llewelly@sauropods.win]

@futurebird this guy has a teleporter, and he used it to go to waffle house, rather than the starship Enterprise? What the fuck, buddy, really?

[gooser3000@mastodon.social]

@futurebird there's no such thing as reality anymore. Anything goes. All vibes.

[jmax@mastodon.social]

@futurebird No other aspect of maturity is; why would object permanence be different?

[ziggythehamster@ruby.social]

@ariadne @futurebird

The Waffle House nearest @FWA on shrooms is probably the best such experience

#FWA

[ariadne@social.treehouse.systems]

@ZiggyTheHamster @futurebird @FWA as a trans person, i don't go to the state of georgia

[threesigma@mastodon.online]

@futurebird
Quantum teleportation is a thing, so I guess they could ask some quantum optics guys.

Who will say "fuck no, he's got mental problems" like everyone else.

[stellafoxxie@oldbytes.space]

@futurebird waffle house is actually the default spawn point that you get reset to when you fall out of bounds. don't ask me how i know

[mattcraig@mastodon.social]

@msbellows @troublewithwords @futurebird The amount of data is off the scale. Down to mitochondria. I love Trek but there’s no way we can transport. Let alone to a Waffle House.

[mynameistillian@plush.city]

@futurebird he should try speedrunning games with his abilities, this stuff is straight out of quadrazid's half-life world record