https://phf.tbe.taleo.net/phf02/ats/careers/v2/viewRequisition?org=COSTCO&cws=41&rid=10551
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The entire thing was written by someone who grabbed a bunch of buzzwords with a clanker and asked for bullet point output.
No human would say '10 years experience with the SIEM'.I suspect if you can get past the clankers gatekeeping the resume submission process, the standards are a lot lower.
@johntimaeus @cR0w youre probably right, and that should make anybody more wary about applying for that job
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@Viss Good retirement gig for someone too tired to think technically like they used to.
@cR0w @Viss a LOT of tech people need to be shoved into doing work like this, whether or not they like it.
You can learn ISO27001, SOC2, etc. and learn how to write justifications for everything you can't bake in (and when to smack hands,) or you just spend all your time chasing somebody else's tickboxes.But this one, whoof, it better be goddamn near 7 digit pay because that's 3 full time roles and on-call for all of them.
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@elebertus This one is real. It was sent to me by someone there. I didn't know about the rest of the org though.
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@johntimaeus @cR0w youre probably right, and that should make anybody more wary about applying for that job
I'm still fighting with the above about job descriptions for our open positions. We don't need any required specifics; we need some experience, ability to pass a security check, communication skills and knowing how to learn.
But somehow powershell and certs end up being a thing every time.
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I'm still fighting with the above about job descriptions for our open positions. We don't need any required specifics; we need some experience, ability to pass a security check, communication skills and knowing how to learn.
But somehow powershell and certs end up being a thing every time.
@johntimaeus @cR0w its 2026 and hr and the hiring managers are still on different planets
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@johntimaeus @cR0w youre probably right, and that should make anybody more wary about applying for that job
@Viss @johntimaeus @cR0w mid-enterprise tech in the Puget Sound are baseball trades; they’ll pull someone they know from another org.
Note that 4 d/wk on the Issaquah campus is a hard requirement.
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@Viss @johntimaeus @cR0w mid-enterprise tech in the Puget Sound are baseball trades; they’ll pull someone they know from another org.
Note that 4 d/wk on the Issaquah campus is a hard requirement.
Much like .mil world.
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I'm still fighting with the above about job descriptions for our open positions. We don't need any required specifics; we need some experience, ability to pass a security check, communication skills and knowing how to learn.
But somehow powershell and certs end up being a thing every time.
@johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w yet somehow still not nearly as dumb as a certain plumbing manufacturer which requires a college degree - any college degree - for *EVERY* position.
Front line customer service? Maintenance? Security? Bachlor's or GTFO.
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@johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w yet somehow still not nearly as dumb as a certain plumbing manufacturer which requires a college degree - any college degree - for *EVERY* position.
Front line customer service? Maintenance? Security? Bachlor's or GTFO.
And the funny thing is, I'm a lead. No degree, lots of certs, but they're all expired. I had to do an 'experience in lieu of degree' form three years ago to keep my job...while they were offering me a two step promotion.
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@johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w I straight up asked the HR drone precisely what value expertise in RPG-IV, LISP, and 36-bit mainframes would bring to the role of Senior Systems Architect in charge of open systems running C/C++ and Perl on 64-bit POWER and SPARC as compared to my (at the time) 15 YEARS of experience.
They did not have an answer.
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@scottwilson @cR0w also the bullet points for what this job entails like five different jobs all mashed into one
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@scottwilson @cR0w also the bullet points for what this job entails like five different jobs all mashed into one
@Viss @scottwilson @cR0w But you know what they might need? A boring subcontractor to streamline that process. Pay me by the hour, don't even worry about all of those pesky requirements, sounds like a plan.
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@johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w I straight up asked the HR drone precisely what value expertise in RPG-IV, LISP, and 36-bit mainframes would bring to the role of Senior Systems Architect in charge of open systems running C/C++ and Perl on 64-bit POWER and SPARC as compared to my (at the time) 15 YEARS of experience.
They did not have an answer.
Maybe the next time someone asks about job requirements I should reply: Reqired certs--
-Nortel DMS 100/250/500
-Xylan Omniswitch
-Ascend Frame Relay/ATM admin
-Fujitsu FM series
-DMS 9600 DAX
-HP-UX certified administrator
-ADC Network Terminal Engineer
-MCSE / MCSA -
@johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w
- IBM Netfinity FE Authorized
- Sun SPARC FE Authorized
- Sun Integration Engineer Certification
- IBM SVC Expert Certification
- Hitachi Lightning Administrator
- CCNA (12.x)
- Cabletron SSR Certified Network Administrator with FDDI
... plus a giant stack from Intel and AMD for partner, reseller, and design. I think during the Opteron era at one point it was like 8 for them alone since I was doing 4/8 way and driver development work. -
@johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w
- IBM Netfinity FE Authorized
- Sun SPARC FE Authorized
- Sun Integration Engineer Certification
- IBM SVC Expert Certification
- Hitachi Lightning Administrator
- CCNA (12.x)
- Cabletron SSR Certified Network Administrator with FDDI
... plus a giant stack from Intel and AMD for partner, reseller, and design. I think during the Opteron era at one point it was like 8 for them alone since I was doing 4/8 way and driver development work.@rootwyrm @johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w there should be something in this list for EMC and NetApp (love me some NetApp), and maybe Infiniband
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@johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w
- IBM Netfinity FE Authorized
- Sun SPARC FE Authorized
- Sun Integration Engineer Certification
- IBM SVC Expert Certification
- Hitachi Lightning Administrator
- CCNA (12.x)
- Cabletron SSR Certified Network Administrator with FDDI
... plus a giant stack from Intel and AMD for partner, reseller, and design. I think during the Opteron era at one point it was like 8 for them alone since I was doing 4/8 way and driver development work.@rootwyrm @johntimaeus @cR0w im sad i threw away my old bakula certification participation certificate
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@rootwyrm @johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w there should be something in this list for EMC and NetApp (love me some NetApp), and maybe Infiniband
@darkuncle @rootwyrm @Viss @cR0w
Ooooh. I forgot about NetApp Storage Appliances. I had some sort of paper about that too.
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@rootwyrm @johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w there should be something in this list for EMC and NetApp (love me some NetApp), and maybe Infiniband
@darkuncle @johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w never did much with EMC, but yeah, NetApp for sure. (I'm the only person on Earth who knows how to do the truly cursed AD integration and we both want to keep it that way.) Never bothered with RH stuff.
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@darkuncle @johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w never did much with EMC, but yeah, NetApp for sure. (I'm the only person on Earth who knows how to do the truly cursed AD integration and we both want to keep it that way.) Never bothered with RH stuff.
@darkuncle @johntimaeus @Viss @cR0w Infiniband, that's a whole *other* thing. When someone walks in and is rattling off a 2 x 256 QDR dual core with proper interconnect architecture, nobody bothers to ask for certifications. Sadly I mostly got out of that once it became clear that Mellanox was just going to dictate terms to cripple it and later become a monopoly.
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@darkuncle @rootwyrm @Viss @cR0w
Ooooh. I forgot about NetApp Storage Appliances. I had some sort of paper about that too.
@johntimaeus @rootwyrm @Viss @cR0w their WAFL filesystem was so far ahead of its time
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