Okay, I know unusually hide on #TDOV and joke about how I’m not leaving the house and it’s Day of Invisibility to me.
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My wife was on city council when I transitioned in a town where literally everyone knows everyone on city council. I’m on the school budget committee in a place with one high school…for the entire county.
Three towns over, through the mountains and across the river, is a hamlet of 200 people with a tiny coffee shop (day) winery (night) and other the coffee shop and winery owners know and recognize me.
I also started multiple businesses including brewery that is the only one outside the tourist area dedicated to the locals. It’s two blocks from my kids school, to which I walk almost every morning.
This is where I transitioned. In full view. All those awkward as fuck stages? I was walking my kids to school, going to school budget meetings, running businesses, going to community events in the park.
In a small agricultural town in the mountains with as many Trump stickers as Coexist stickers. where ev-ry-wun knows who I am.
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I also started multiple businesses including brewery that is the only one outside the tourist area dedicated to the locals. It’s two blocks from my kids school, to which I walk almost every morning.
This is where I transitioned. In full view. All those awkward as fuck stages? I was walking my kids to school, going to school budget meetings, running businesses, going to community events in the park.
In a small agricultural town in the mountains with as many Trump stickers as Coexist stickers. where ev-ry-wun knows who I am.
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I also started multiple businesses including brewery that is the only one outside the tourist area dedicated to the locals. It’s two blocks from my kids school, to which I walk almost every morning.
This is where I transitioned. In full view. All those awkward as fuck stages? I was walking my kids to school, going to school budget meetings, running businesses, going to community events in the park.
In a small agricultural town in the mountains with as many Trump stickers as Coexist stickers. where ev-ry-wun knows who I am.
Every year, I make jokes about #TDOV and about how I’m hiding in my house and the cis people can fuck off because nobody is seeing me.
And every year I have white trans women up in my shit yelling at me about being transphobic, about being a traitor, about not doing my part.
Y’all are fucking exhausting. I was gonna write those jokes again but I can’t even. Like why bother?
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Every year, I make jokes about #TDOV and about how I’m hiding in my house and the cis people can fuck off because nobody is seeing me.
And every year I have white trans women up in my shit yelling at me about being transphobic, about being a traitor, about not doing my part.
Y’all are fucking exhausting. I was gonna write those jokes again but I can’t even. Like why bother?
@FinalGirl it's ok to not be out there. It's not betrayal to just want peace.
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Every year, I make jokes about #TDOV and about how I’m hiding in my house and the cis people can fuck off because nobody is seeing me.
And every year I have white trans women up in my shit yelling at me about being transphobic, about being a traitor, about not doing my part.
Y’all are fucking exhausting. I was gonna write those jokes again but I can’t even. Like why bother?
I am That Black Trans Woman
️Everyone in in three town radius in this mountain area knows who I am. I can’t go get coffee three towns away without someone saying something about my transition.
There is no #TDOV for me. There is only hyper-visibility. Every day.
At the coffee shop. Walking kids to school. Going to the grocery store.
Hell I can’t even go to the Spanish speaking market because I helped START the only Spanish language radio station in the area.
Everyone knows me.
For some of us, TDOV is every. single. day.
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I am That Black Trans Woman
️Everyone in in three town radius in this mountain area knows who I am. I can’t go get coffee three towns away without someone saying something about my transition.
There is no #TDOV for me. There is only hyper-visibility. Every day.
At the coffee shop. Walking kids to school. Going to the grocery store.
Hell I can’t even go to the Spanish speaking market because I helped START the only Spanish language radio station in the area.
Everyone knows me.
For some of us, TDOV is every. single. day.
So, just throwing this out there that when #TDOV comes around and there are trans people who make jokes or say they are hiding out, maybe instead of criticizing them for it, you can fuck the hell off.
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Every year, I make jokes about #TDOV and about how I’m hiding in my house and the cis people can fuck off because nobody is seeing me.
And every year I have white trans women up in my shit yelling at me about being transphobic, about being a traitor, about not doing my part.
Y’all are fucking exhausting. I was gonna write those jokes again but I can’t even. Like why bother?
@FinalGirl@blackqueer.life Meanwhile I, a very white trans person, posted two minutes ago that I'm already visible enough and ain't gonna do shit to stand out today and it's been boosted twice and liked five times already.
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@FinalGirl@blackqueer.life Meanwhile I, a very white trans person, posted two minutes ago that I'm already visible enough and ain't gonna do shit to stand out today and it's been boosted twice and liked five times already.
@julie I swear every year I’ve had someone down my throat about that. I don’t know what the deal is but I was about to make jokes today and like just got hit with the memories and frustration and not even gonna bother.
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R relay@relay.infosec.exchange shared this topic
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I also started multiple businesses including brewery that is the only one outside the tourist area dedicated to the locals. It’s two blocks from my kids school, to which I walk almost every morning.
This is where I transitioned. In full view. All those awkward as fuck stages? I was walking my kids to school, going to school budget meetings, running businesses, going to community events in the park.
In a small agricultural town in the mountains with as many Trump stickers as Coexist stickers. where ev-ry-wun knows who I am.
@FinalGirl I’m not as well known in my community as you are in yours, because I have not done as much high visibility stuff. But I live in a similarly small town (~1500), and I’m well-known at school because I volunteer all the time. So this resonates with me, and certainly I am far more visible offline than online. If TDOV is used to shame other trans people, we’re doing it wrong. When it’s used to shame Black trans people… incredible amounts of side-eye for that.
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@FinalGirl I’m not as well known in my community as you are in yours, because I have not done as much high visibility stuff. But I live in a similarly small town (~1500), and I’m well-known at school because I volunteer all the time. So this resonates with me, and certainly I am far more visible offline than online. If TDOV is used to shame other trans people, we’re doing it wrong. When it’s used to shame Black trans people… incredible amounts of side-eye for that.
@glassblowerscat Small town Trans girls FTW!
Tits up! Nowhere to hide!
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@glassblowerscat Small town Trans girls FTW!
Tits up! Nowhere to hide!
@FinalGirl That’s how I do!
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@FinalGirl That’s how I do!
@glassblowerscat this feels like a real connection because a lot of girls don’t know what small town Trans existence feels like, so thank you for coming out about that.
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@glassblowerscat this feels like a real connection because a lot of girls don’t know what small town Trans existence feels like, so thank you for coming out about that.
@FinalGirl It is weird! My tiny town is right up next to a bigger town of ~15,000. Weirdly, I feel safer in my town than in the adjacent one, because I’m more known. I’m more of a *person* to my neighbors. Even though I’m anonymous in the bigger town, I feel more conspicuous when I’m in situations where I feel like I’ll probably be clocked.
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@FinalGirl It is weird! My tiny town is right up next to a bigger town of ~15,000. Weirdly, I feel safer in my town than in the adjacent one, because I’m more known. I’m more of a *person* to my neighbors. Even though I’m anonymous in the bigger town, I feel more conspicuous when I’m in situations where I feel like I’ll probably be clocked.
@glassblowerscat mine is bigger at 7500 but the next town is 20 minutes away through rugged woods and mountains. But I do feel safer here than in the 20,000 one down the highway, totally.
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@glassblowerscat mine is bigger at 7500 but the next town is 20 minutes away through rugged woods and mountains. But I do feel safer here than in the 20,000 one down the highway, totally.
@FinalGirl My mom has said a couple times since I started visibly transitioning that she’s worried for my safety in town. I’m not *not* worried, but weirdly I’m more scared of the state or federal government than I am of my neighbors.
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R relay@relay.mycrowd.ca shared this topic
