Women Waiting For "The Men" 👵 Woman moves into retirement home 🏠 and her tv 📺 " isn't working" quite right.
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Women Waiting For "The Men"
Woman moves into retirement home 
and her tv 
" isn't working" quite right.
I make a couple suggestions.
Her reply is her
daughter and granddaughter will help but must be patient and wait because "The Men" 
are "out in the fields " 
and after the fields are prepped and planted "The Men" will sort out the problem
Her granddaughter shows up and I ask if she can help her grandmother.
Her reply: "I wouldn't know what to do. We must wait until The Men finish in the fields"
So I'm staring at these helpless women, thinking about when I was on my own, a single mom returning to school, then working, *learning* to do:
home repairs; car maintenance; fixing my motorcycle engine; repairing fences; fixing household appliances; building an add on room; ripping up and replacing kitchen flooring; building loft beds for my kids; adding wall insulation; computers (!) and so much more...
I wanted to break down and cry 🥹 for the granddaughter because though through those years I struggled, and sometimes despaired, each challenge I faced and overcame, built up my confidence, improved my sense of self-work, and made me realize I was strong, independent, and capable...
something these women will never experience. because.. ..
Waiting For The Men.
#Women@SnowyCA .. It seems they have no initiative creativity or want to learn anything ... sadly they stalled themselves from actually giving themselves the pride of knowledge, curiosity, initiative to built up who they could be within themselves ...sad when one has no purpose ...
Be proud that some of us never turned out that way ...Allow them to linger in their choice of loss ...
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Addendum to above
️ post:
Why should she sit in her room "waiting " several days in order to enjoy her television programs when either I could help, or her granddaughter could learn how to fix the problem...She has to "go without" because she "must Wait For The Men"
How sad is that...really ...
@SnowyCA When I was a young widow with two small kids, there was no point in sitting around waiting for ‘The Men’ or any man. Essentials had to be done, maintained, fixed etc. I can think of nothing more frustrating and mind-numbingly stupid that sitting waiting for ‘The Men/Any Man’.
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Women Waiting For "The Men"
Woman moves into retirement home and her tv " isn't working" quite right.
I make a couple suggestions.
Her reply is her daughter and granddaughter will help but must be patient and wait because "The Men" are "out in the fields " and after the fields are prepped and planted "The Men" will sort out the problem
Her granddaughter shows up and I ask if she can help her grandmother.
Her reply: "I wouldn't know what to do. We must wait until The Men finish in the fields"
So I'm staring at these helpless women, thinking about when I was on my own, a single mom returning to school, then working, *learning* to do:
home repairs; car maintenance; fixing my motorcycle engine; repairing fences; fixing household appliances; building an add on room; ripping up and replacing kitchen flooring; building loft beds for my kids; adding wall insulation; computers (!) and so much more...
I wanted to break down and cry 🥹 for the granddaughter because though through those years I struggled, and sometimes despaired, each challenge I faced and overcame, built up my confidence, improved my sense of self-work, and made me realize I was strong, independent, and capable...
something these women will never experience. because.. ..
Waiting For The Men.
#Women@SnowyCA I read this thinking it was a story of dementia or being irretrievably trapped in past nostalgia, purely from the reference of the men being ‘in the field’ and the specificity of working the land. I’m wondering if the TV doesn’t get fixed and the ‘men’s job’ don’t get completed because these ladies have outlived their husbands (with their historically traditional provider roles).
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Women Waiting For "The Men"
Woman moves into retirement home and her tv " isn't working" quite right.
I make a couple suggestions.
Her reply is her daughter and granddaughter will help but must be patient and wait because "The Men" are "out in the fields " and after the fields are prepped and planted "The Men" will sort out the problem
Her granddaughter shows up and I ask if she can help her grandmother.
Her reply: "I wouldn't know what to do. We must wait until The Men finish in the fields"
So I'm staring at these helpless women, thinking about when I was on my own, a single mom returning to school, then working, *learning* to do:
home repairs; car maintenance; fixing my motorcycle engine; repairing fences; fixing household appliances; building an add on room; ripping up and replacing kitchen flooring; building loft beds for my kids; adding wall insulation; computers (!) and so much more...
I wanted to break down and cry 🥹 for the granddaughter because though through those years I struggled, and sometimes despaired, each challenge I faced and overcame, built up my confidence, improved my sense of self-work, and made me realize I was strong, independent, and capable...
something these women will never experience. because.. ..
Waiting For The Men.
#Women@SnowyCA my parents in law were joking that their son does the “women’s work” and I do the “men’s work”. In reality we both do a bit of everything, without thinking that washing or cooking should be for women, or working with power tools, heavy gardening work, or building things from wood should be for men, but they only notice where we deviate from their expectations. A lot of Dutch people are this traditional, I got lots of comments when I was laying paving a few years ago in the front garden
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@SnowyCA .. It seems they have no initiative creativity or want to learn anything ... sadly they stalled themselves from actually giving themselves the pride of knowledge, curiosity, initiative to built up who they could be within themselves ...sad when one has no purpose ...
Be proud that some of us never turned out that way ...Allow them to linger in their choice of loss ...
️️️edited to add: they have purpose, as moms and housewives but that's the limit.
I think that's a little unfair. In a way it's not their fault because when a person is raised in and lives in an insulated community, never ventures beyond their little "patch" of the world, and grew up in a family where this is the norm, it's very difficult to understand there are options.
I've met people here who have never travelled beyond a couple hundred miles from their home so they haven't been immersed in different cultures like a person from a big city. (the nearest town to me has a population of fewer than 500 people, and the surrounding towns are the same.)
Since I was a little child, I 've lived in different provinces, large cities and tiny villages, and two countries, so my life experiences taught me there are a wide range of cultures and lifestyles, and I learned to adapt to various "environments" and circumstances.
Remember, they work from sun up to after sundown and have no time or money to jet around the world on vacation...their exposure to <waves every direction> all the world is limited.
For example, these are people who have asked me, what is a pierogi, a Reuban sandwich, or tamale.
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@SnowyCA When I was a young widow with two small kids, there was no point in sitting around waiting for ‘The Men’ or any man. Essentials had to be done, maintained, fixed etc. I can think of nothing more frustrating and mind-numbingly stupid that sitting waiting for ‘The Men/Any Man’.
@HarriettMB
You, like me had no option, eh.
Indeed it is frustrating waiting....!... that's why you and I didn't.And I'm so very sorry your partner passed away and you were left to care for children...it's not an easy life as a single mother.
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edited to add: they have purpose, as moms and housewives but that's the limit.
I think that's a little unfair. In a way it's not their fault because when a person is raised in and lives in an insulated community, never ventures beyond their little "patch" of the world, and grew up in a family where this is the norm, it's very difficult to understand there are options.
I've met people here who have never travelled beyond a couple hundred miles from their home so they haven't been immersed in different cultures like a person from a big city. (the nearest town to me has a population of fewer than 500 people, and the surrounding towns are the same.)
Since I was a little child, I 've lived in different provinces, large cities and tiny villages, and two countries, so my life experiences taught me there are a wide range of cultures and lifestyles, and I learned to adapt to various "environments" and circumstances.
Remember, they work from sun up to after sundown and have no time or money to jet around the world on vacation...their exposure to <waves every direction> all the world is limited.
For example, these are people who have asked me, what is a pierogi, a Reuban sandwich, or tamale.
@SnowyCA I get what you are saying .. I come from that type of world But father died and we women had to take care of all and as a child I grew up fast at 12 and was looking after 5 kids huge house and close to house yard things ...while mother took on livestock and we had alot including adding 500 rabbits and huge gardens .. so I do know of these things
After then working with elders in the fields and then doing government work at 17..To then being sent to do city life things and build from there my experiences and learn that many had never crossed the city over the river to Southside till had to finally see a doctor at those hospitals for maybe 30 years or more ...
When I in my 20's was doing 50 miles every day to learn my way around the big city I was sent to live in and with was able to then look into many different jobs I would like to do and did and vast amount of experience and keep myself educated in many different fields till was ready to do something else
... and trust me many a man did not like women with brains and ability to look after themselves ...
Too many women are abused should they try to have any say in a relationship ...I knew of those who could not be trusted or able to respect others after giving a part of communication in the beginning that should any man lay a finger in the wrong way on any woman would be his last to never see them again
...and too find many a married man should not be trusted either as found self having the experience of too many married dated me and had dated much less singles...
Feel so sad for those families that did not know who they really married...Some felt like heels and admitted their doings .. but still wasted my valuable time ...
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edited to add: they have purpose, as moms and housewives but that's the limit.
I think that's a little unfair. In a way it's not their fault because when a person is raised in and lives in an insulated community, never ventures beyond their little "patch" of the world, and grew up in a family where this is the norm, it's very difficult to understand there are options.
I've met people here who have never travelled beyond a couple hundred miles from their home so they haven't been immersed in different cultures like a person from a big city. (the nearest town to me has a population of fewer than 500 people, and the surrounding towns are the same.)
Since I was a little child, I 've lived in different provinces, large cities and tiny villages, and two countries, so my life experiences taught me there are a wide range of cultures and lifestyles, and I learned to adapt to various "environments" and circumstances.
Remember, they work from sun up to after sundown and have no time or money to jet around the world on vacation...their exposure to <waves every direction> all the world is limited.
For example, these are people who have asked me, what is a pierogi, a Reuban sandwich, or tamale.
@SnowyCA I will add that am very glad to know others who have become worldly as well and we have a longer life than our life's are according to others...life full of experience .. there is nothing like it
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@SnowyCA my parents in law were joking that their son does the “women’s work” and I do the “men’s work”. In reality we both do a bit of everything, without thinking that washing or cooking should be for women, or working with power tools, heavy gardening work, or building things from wood should be for men, but they only notice where we deviate from their expectations. A lot of Dutch people are this traditional, I got lots of comments when I was laying paving a few years ago in the front garden
My husband and I are the same--in our home there's no women's/men's work. If fact sometimes I tease him saying I think he married me because of my many tool boxes and ability to know how to use the contents. lol.
(When I moved in with him, buried in a closet, I found a tiny red toolbox containing one of the lightest and cleanest hammers I've ever come across...pretty sure it was a gift. )"Laying paving"... "comments"
Indeed men often are curious when they see us stepping out of a traditional role.
Like you, my activities drew comments . When mending a fence, or laying beneath my car and my toolbox nearby, neighbourhood men would either stare, or venture over to question, "Whatcha doing there, little lady?".
(little lady"
)Fortunately once in a while, one would stroll by and casually say, "Good to see an independent woman:".
"Dutch people"
I think perhaps it's the same everywhere...? -
@SnowyCA I read this thinking it was a story of dementia or being irretrievably trapped in past nostalgia, purely from the reference of the men being ‘in the field’ and the specificity of working the land. I’m wondering if the TV doesn’t get fixed and the ‘men’s job’ don’t get completed because these ladies have outlived their husbands (with their historically traditional provider roles).
"dementia"
I thought the same as you until I met the daughter and granddaughter.Indeed often women outlive men, and I meet too many my age and usually older, who are left with zero information
about their finances or how to basic home/car/tech device maintenance. They end up alone and having to give up their home because their children don't have the time (or patience) to replace their husband's place--fixing everything around the home...or as in this case, something as simple as knowing how to set up a tv...and they don't have the ability to adapt to a new way of thinking. -
Indeed it is rather sad, isn't it.
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@HarriettMB
You, like me had no option, eh.
Indeed it is frustrating waiting....!... that's why you and I didn't.And I'm so very sorry your partner passed away and you were left to care for children...it's not an easy life as a single mother.
During a meeting to discuss a situation's financial straits, I asked Head Of Board's wife, on my left, her thoughts.
"Oh, I don't know, my husband does everything."
"Ah. Do you know [required item] then?"
I so remember her startled look.
Puzzled, I said she surely managed other things.
"No, no no, my husband does it all."
She looked clueless, I wondered what she'd do if he died.
Which he did in 2020.
He was an arrogant, manipulative ass. But she seemed to love him. -
My husband and I are the same--in our home there's no women's/men's work. If fact sometimes I tease him saying I think he married me because of my many tool boxes and ability to know how to use the contents. lol.
(When I moved in with him, buried in a closet, I found a tiny red toolbox containing one of the lightest and cleanest hammers I've ever come across...pretty sure it was a gift. )"Laying paving"... "comments"
Indeed men often are curious when they see us stepping out of a traditional role.
Like you, my activities drew comments . When mending a fence, or laying beneath my car and my toolbox nearby, neighbourhood men would either stare, or venture over to question, "Whatcha doing there, little lady?".
(little lady" )Fortunately once in a while, one would stroll by and casually say, "Good to see an independent woman:".
"Dutch people"
I think perhaps it's the same everywhere...?@SnowyCA probably the same everywhere, but the Dutch have their “Dutch directness” when commenting on others, and, although they have a reputation for tolerance, can be surprisingly traditional about gender roles and motherhood expectations.
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