During a meeting to discuss a situation's financial straits, I asked Head Of Board's wife, on my left, her thoughts.
"Oh, I don't know, my husband does everything."
"Ah. Do you know [required item] then?"
I so remember her startled look.
Puzzled, I said she surely managed other things.
"No, no no, my husband does it all."
She looked clueless, I wondered what she'd do if he died.
Which he did in 2020.
He was an arrogant, manipulative ass. But she seemed to love him.

@HarriettMB

Indeed it is rather sad, isn't it.

"dementia"
I thought the same as you until I met the daughter and granddaughter.

Indeed often women outlive men, and I meet too many my age and usually older, who are left with zero information
about their finances or how to basic home/car/tech device maintenance. They end up alone and having to give up their home because their children don't have the time (or patience) to replace their husband's place--fixing everything around the home...or as in this case, something as simple as knowing how to set up a tv...and they don't have the ability to adapt to a new way of thinking.

My husband and I are the same--in our home there's no women's/men's work. If fact sometimes I tease him saying I think he married me because of my many tool boxes and ability to know how to use the contents. lol.
(When I moved in with him, buried in a closet, I found a tiny red toolbox containing one of the lightest and cleanest hammers I've ever come across...pretty sure it was a gift. )

"Laying paving"... "comments"
Indeed men often are curious when they see us stepping out of a traditional role.
Like you, my activities drew comments . When mending a fence, or laying beneath my car and my toolbox nearby, neighbourhood men would either stare, or venture over to question, "Whatcha doing there, little lady?".
(little lady" )

Fortunately once in a while, one would stroll by and casually say, "Good to see an independent woman:".

"Dutch people"
I think perhaps it's the same everywhere...?

To then being sent to do city life things and build from there my experiences and learn that many had never crossed the city over the river to Southside till had to finally see a doctor at those hospitals for maybe 30 years or more ...

When I in my 20's was doing 50 miles every day to learn my way around the big city I was sent to live in and with was able to then look into many different jobs I would like to do and did and vast amount of experience and keep myself educated in many different fields till was ready to do something else

... and trust me many a man did not like women with brains and ability to look after themselves ...
Too many women are abused should they try to have any say in a relationship ...

I knew of those who could not be trusted or able to respect others after giving a part of communication in the beginning that should any man lay a finger in the wrong way on any woman would be his last to never see them again

...and too find many a married man should not be trusted either as found self having the experience of too many married dated me and had dated much less singles...

Feel so sad for those families that did not know who they really married...Some felt like heels and admitted their doings .. but still wasted my valuable time ...

And I'm so very sorry your partner passed away and you were left to care for children...it's not an easy life as a single mother.

edited to add: they have purpose, as moms and housewives but that's the limit.

I think that's a little unfair. In a way it's not their fault because when a person is raised in and lives in an insulated community, never ventures beyond their little "patch" of the world, and grew up in a family where this is the norm, it's very difficult to understand there are options.

I've met people here who have never travelled beyond a couple hundred miles from their home so they haven't been immersed in different cultures like a person from a big city. (the nearest town to me has a population of fewer than 500 people, and the surrounding towns are the same.)

Since I was a little child, I 've lived in different provinces, large cities and tiny villages, and two countries, so my life experiences taught me there are a wide range of cultures and lifestyles, and I learned to adapt to various "environments" and circumstances.

Remember, they work from sun up to after sundown and have no time or money to jet around the world on vacation...their exposure to <waves every direction> all the world is limited.

For example, these are people who have asked me, what is a pierogi, a Reuban sandwich, or tamale.

Allow them to linger in their choice of loss ...‍️‍️‍️

She has to "go without" because she "must Wait For The Men"

How sad is that...really ...

#TraditionalValues #Women