Roses are redViolets are blueCyanosis follows severe haemorrhagingAnd no amount of sugar will save you
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@cstross There's a real double standard here, because people can be really picky about WHICH severed genitalia are acceptable.
Get it right, and it's "sweet" and “romantic”. But make one tiny mistake, and suddenly the person you love most is calling you a “monster" and a "serial killer”.
I hate Valentine’s Day.
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@HighlandLawyer @cstross Better than leaving it where you’ll step on it, like when stepping out of the shower.
@JamesPadraicR @HighlandLawyer
I had this one particularly stupid cat who kept trying to teach me to hunt by bringing me a live earthworm every morning.
You do not want to wake up by treading barefoot on a live earthworm on your way to the bathroom.
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@JamesPadraicR @HighlandLawyer
I had this one particularly stupid cat who kept trying to teach me to hunt by bringing me a live earthworm every morning.
You do not want to wake up by treading barefoot on a live earthworm on your way to the bathroom.
@cstross @HighlandLawyer When I stepped out pf the shower it was just the mouse’s ribs and a rear leg. A little later I found my cat Sabra had left a gutted mouse in another room.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross No kink shaming. Some people like rotting plant genitalia.
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@cstross @HighlandLawyer When I stepped out pf the shower it was just the mouse’s ribs and a rear leg. A little later I found my cat Sabra had left a gutted mouse in another room.
@cstross @HighlandLawyer I’m resisting the urge to share some cat-sitting stories.
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@cstross @HighlandLawyer I’m resisting the urge to share some cat-sitting stories.
@JamesPadraicR @cstross
I am not sure how a cat can get a whole, full grown (deceased) rabbit through a cat flap, but apparently consuming it in the scullery is sometimes preferable to doing so in the fields or garden.Perils of rural life.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross Quite a few of those severed genitalia can be a bit tricky with a cat in the house too.
I mean I was under strict instructions to never ever bring lilies anyway…
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross
> I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting
> it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
> like the severed limbs of traitors that used to be impaled on the gatehouse of London BridgeOk now I'm confused are you for or against?
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross but. but. disemboweled rodents are one of the best ways to show love and care for somebody!
together with releasing an alive but weakened rodent in such a way that they can have the pleasure to hunt it themselves, of course
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cyanosis follows severe haemorrhaging
And no amount of sugar will save you@cstross Violets re violet. Blue is not where to file it.
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@JamesPadraicR @cstross
I am not sure how a cat can get a whole, full grown (deceased) rabbit through a cat flap, but apparently consuming it in the scullery is sometimes preferable to doing so in the fields or garden.Perils of rural life.
@HighlandLawyer @cstross Yep. Once when house/cat-sitting I found the cat outside the back door straddling the headless body of a young rabbit, licking at the stump. I could have done without that.
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cyanosis follows severe haemorrhaging
And no amount of sugar will save you@cstross you're a wonderful writer, but your poetry could use some work
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@cstross You just have to make it weird…
(Currently very much enjoying The Regicide Report, btw. Well done!)
@valkenberg @cstross Charlie only makes it weird on days ending in Y
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@valkenberg Naah, I just don't like seeing them stuffed into a display and left to rot away, like the severed limbs of traitors that used to be impaled on the gatehouse of London Bridge
@cstross @valkenberg I steal flowers for R in the spring. He's never given flowers, and plans never to
Still, severed plant genitals are better than severed heads, no?
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@JamesPadraicR @cstross
I am not sure how a cat can get a whole, full grown (deceased) rabbit through a cat flap, but apparently consuming it in the scullery is sometimes preferable to doing so in the fields or garden.Perils of rural life.
@HighlandLawyer @JamesPadraicR @cstross I'm still amazed that we took evolution's most perfect hunter, locked it in a house, and convinced the other local humans to call it "Mr Wiggles" or some shit.
