Roses are redViolets are blueCyanosis follows severe haemorrhagingAnd no amount of sugar will save you
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@HighlandLawyer @cstross Better than leaving it where you’ll step on it, like when stepping out of the shower.
@JamesPadraicR @HighlandLawyer
I had this one particularly stupid cat who kept trying to teach me to hunt by bringing me a live earthworm every morning.
You do not want to wake up by treading barefoot on a live earthworm on your way to the bathroom.
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@JamesPadraicR @HighlandLawyer
I had this one particularly stupid cat who kept trying to teach me to hunt by bringing me a live earthworm every morning.
You do not want to wake up by treading barefoot on a live earthworm on your way to the bathroom.
@cstross @HighlandLawyer When I stepped out pf the shower it was just the mouse’s ribs and a rear leg. A little later I found my cat Sabra had left a gutted mouse in another room.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross No kink shaming. Some people like rotting plant genitalia.
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@cstross @HighlandLawyer When I stepped out pf the shower it was just the mouse’s ribs and a rear leg. A little later I found my cat Sabra had left a gutted mouse in another room.
@cstross @HighlandLawyer I’m resisting the urge to share some cat-sitting stories.
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@cstross @HighlandLawyer I’m resisting the urge to share some cat-sitting stories.
@JamesPadraicR @cstross
I am not sure how a cat can get a whole, full grown (deceased) rabbit through a cat flap, but apparently consuming it in the scullery is sometimes preferable to doing so in the fields or garden.Perils of rural life.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross Quite a few of those severed genitalia can be a bit tricky with a cat in the house too.
I mean I was under strict instructions to never ever bring lilies anyway…
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross
> I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting
> it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
> like the severed limbs of traitors that used to be impaled on the gatehouse of London BridgeOk now I'm confused are you for or against?
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross but. but. disemboweled rodents are one of the best ways to show love and care for somebody!
together with releasing an alive but weakened rodent in such a way that they can have the pleasure to hunt it themselves, of course
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cyanosis follows severe haemorrhaging
And no amount of sugar will save you@cstross Violets re violet. Blue is not where to file it.
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@JamesPadraicR @cstross
I am not sure how a cat can get a whole, full grown (deceased) rabbit through a cat flap, but apparently consuming it in the scullery is sometimes preferable to doing so in the fields or garden.Perils of rural life.
@HighlandLawyer @cstross Yep. Once when house/cat-sitting I found the cat outside the back door straddling the headless body of a young rabbit, licking at the stump. I could have done without that.
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cyanosis follows severe haemorrhaging
And no amount of sugar will save you@cstross you're a wonderful writer, but your poetry could use some work
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@cstross You just have to make it weird…
(Currently very much enjoying The Regicide Report, btw. Well done!)
@valkenberg @cstross Charlie only makes it weird on days ending in Y
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@valkenberg Naah, I just don't like seeing them stuffed into a display and left to rot away, like the severed limbs of traitors that used to be impaled on the gatehouse of London Bridge
@cstross @valkenberg I steal flowers for R in the spring. He's never given flowers, and plans never to
Still, severed plant genitals are better than severed heads, no?
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@JamesPadraicR @cstross
I am not sure how a cat can get a whole, full grown (deceased) rabbit through a cat flap, but apparently consuming it in the scullery is sometimes preferable to doing so in the fields or garden.Perils of rural life.
@HighlandLawyer @JamesPadraicR @cstross I'm still amazed that we took evolution's most perfect hunter, locked it in a house, and convinced the other local humans to call it "Mr Wiggles" or some shit.
