For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech!
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@sundogplanets I learned a danish saying last summer: "There's no cow on the ice".
Alternatively "If the hind legs are on land, there's no cow on the ice". Meaning it's not a crisis yet. Based on farmers afraid of losing their cows, I guess!
@stovis @sundogplanets
There are similar German sayings using the same image:
https://www.dwds.de/wb/die%20Kuh%20vom%20Eis%20holen
https://de.wiktionary.org/wiki/die_Kuh_vom_Eis_holen -
For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
@sundogplanets "as full as a bull's bum going uphill".
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For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
Another Duch saying/expression: "You don't know how a cow catches a hare." Sometimes used for things that are deemed impossible but happened anyway.
Related joke:
Q: "Do you know how a cow catches a hare?"
A: "She stands behind a tree and mimics the sound of a carrot."(ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer)
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of note also VACCA BOIA, as an interjection or exclamation to express surprise.
(Literally it means: executioner cow)
@oblomov@sociale.network @sundogplanets@mastodon.social @valhalla@social.gl-como.it
"Dio cane" ("dog god" implying god is a low being) is a power combo though. I always found it interesting that Italian goes the opposite direction from English on the Corporeal to Religious scale. -
For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
@sundogplanets in Denmark they say "No cow on the ice" (Ingen ko på isen) to mean that something was not difficult. It's up there in my Mystery Expressions Olympus together with all baseball- and American-football-based metaphors
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For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
@sundogplanets Dutch: You never know how a cow catches a hare
(Unlikely things can happen, or ‘it might work’)
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@sundogplanets I've always thought "It's a moo point" (from an episode of Friends) deserved to catch on
@diazona @sundogplanets "It's a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter. It's moo"
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@futzle @sundogplanets And everyone who stopped to look was told to moo on.
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For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
@sundogplanets Do male cows count?
"Calves should not play with the ox, they are outmatched in horns."
I've also heard sayings along the line of "he's all lasso and no bull" / "all hat and no cattle". Meaning someone who talks big but can't back it up.
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Years ago I heard this joke (not ideal in writing, but I hope it works. Imagine the answer as a mooing sound.)
"Do you think you got BSE?" - "Nnnnnoooooooooooo."There's a German saying "Das geht auf keine Kuhhaut" meaning "that's too much, unheard of, beyond belief". Apparently the literal meaning is "that does not fit on (the parchment made from) a cow's skin".
@JonasJRichter @sundogplanets there is a whole low-german folk song "Herrn Pastor sien Kauh" with countless verses of what the whole village gets from the carcass of that priests cow that just died - from the fire department getting a new pot of greese for their truck, the sexton a new bell pull, the painter a new brush, the local beauty a new set of hymen, the marching band a new drumskin, the old lady a new set of dentures to Napoleon getting a flea and the neighbour state the head as heraldic symbol for the flag...
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@sundogplanets
there's one in french:"il pleut comme vache qui pisse"
(it's raining like a cow peeing)
@bituur_esztreym @sundogplanets “es regnet Hunde und Katzen”, "il pleut des cordes”, "it´s raining cats and dogs"
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For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
@sundogplanets In Swedish, we often use "There is no cow on the ice", which means that there is still enough time to act without panic. The full expression is "There is no cow on the ice until her ass is out there" but hardly anyone knows that which makes it a bit cryptic.
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For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
@sundogplanets Ask Not For Whom The Bull Moos
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@sundogplanets As you're in Aotearoa, have you come through the famous town of Bulls? They've taken bovine puns to the next level. Not only is the entire town plastered with bull imagery and statues but there's heaps of punny signage, like 'udderly unbeliev-a-bull'. It's really quite a sight to behold.
This is their website: https://www.bulls.kiwi/@ConnyChiwa don't forget bullshit
@sundogplanets -
For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
@sundogplanets In Brazil we say "the cow went to the swamp" when something goes wrong
"A vaca foi para o brejo"
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For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moonThe fuckweasel's Starlinks
got caught on its horns
and Kessler Syndrome
popped SpaceX like a balloon. -
For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
Well, not really a figure of speech, but still one of my favourite sayings about cows : "Als de koe naar Rome gaat, ontmoet ze al gauw prikkeldraad".
When the cow goes to Rome, she quickly encounters barbed wire.
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For no reason at all, please give me your favourite cow-related figures of speech! (Stuff like "No use crying over spilled milk" or "until the cows come home", puns extremely welcome)
This is a great thread. It reminded me of the old
"Cows With Guns - The Original Animation" -
@sundogplanets In French: "Il pleut comme vache qui pisse", "It's raining like a pissing cow".
@brunogirin or "oh vache" for suprise + you speak a whole lot of cow - South African for talking shit. @sundogplanets
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Two German ones:
"Die Kuh vom Eis holen" ("getting the cow off the ice") - resolving a difficult situation
"Das geht auf keine Kuhhaut" (this goes on no cow-skin) - expressing mild outrage
(sorry, no puns involved)
But since you asked for puns:
- Why is it difficult to hit a cow?
- Because it's a mooing target.(disclaimer: don't hit cows.)
