Found on Bluesky.

[tezoatlipoca@mas.to]

@tclark Its the new #YOLO. YONDO: You Only Not Die Once

[alien@mastodon.green]

@cstross nobody is talking about the come on please, I think it's hilarious

[illuminatus@mstdn.social]

@alien @cstross It's just asking for us to trust it.

[kaleissin@wandering.shop]

@tezoatlipoca @cstross Urotsukidoji, surely *snigger*

[choomba@social.tchncs.de]

@cstross I think in these trying times we all too often forget that pacclabmech is not mehee yem.

[mdm@mcnamarii.town]

@cstross Uh oh, I did 6 muhym, I hope I'll be okay

[cadbury_moose@wandering.shop]

@cstross

Real "Send three and fourpence we are going to a dance" energy there. Did someone dictate it into something set for the wrong language?

Mayor Snorkum would approve.

[paulk@writing.exchange]

@cstross Being careful in time of death is overrated anyway, but the pacclabmech... really? That's too much.

[xs4me2@mastodon.social]

@cstross

Sigh....

[eedly@mindly.social]

@cstross Don't be so careful in time of death. Do you want to muhym forever?

[grumpydad@infosec.exchange]

@cstross I think I just had a stroke.

[zieg@twiukraine.com]

@cstross is that OK that I can actually read and understand the whole instruction and the third sentence in particular?

[adamrice@c.im]

@tezoatlipoca @cstross Surely that would be Umamusume (馬娘).

[drchaos@sauropods.win]

@cstross I want all warning labels to start with "Come on, please!"

[shadowdancer@mstdn.social]

@blotosmetek
Okay, but that would mean that what happened here wasn't just a straight Russian to English text translation.

Instead it would seem that there's been an image with Russian text which then was read in with some dumb OCR software that had no understanding of cyrillic alphabet.

Then the already broken Russian langauge was translated to English resulting in even more broken English.
@cstross

[blotosmetek@circumstances.run]

@shadowdancer @cstross exactly so! Probably with some effort, even with my very rusty Russian, I could recreate the original text…

[saxicola@toot.community]

@cstross
Item 5 does kinda make sense though.

[cadbury_moose@wandering.shop]

@Knitronomicon @cstross

This torpid moose reckons he will starch his moustache.

[ghostonthehalfshell@masto.ai]

@cstross

I’d like to see a logic chain on the pizza box instruction

Open before eating

[chillicampari@layer8.space]

@mdm please do not the 6 muyhm @cstross