At what point do we trust our measure of memory loss versus what others near us do of us?
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At what point do we trust our measure of memory loss versus what others near us do of us? Should we trust our perceived loss, are we hypercritical to ourselves that we would not be to others, or is the external viewpoint most accurate?
For me, I feel a huge memory decline over the last 4 years in particular after a significant brain injury, whereas my caretaker friend that I've known 9 years thinks it's not that bad.
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At what point do we trust our measure of memory loss versus what others near us do of us? Should we trust our perceived loss, are we hypercritical to ourselves that we would not be to others, or is the external viewpoint most accurate?
For me, I feel a huge memory decline over the last 4 years in particular after a significant brain injury, whereas my caretaker friend that I've known 9 years thinks it's not that bad.
@AncTreat5358 I really struggle with this. I have not had any injury that I can clearly define (unless there is anything to be seen in an MRI scan which was never passed on to my neurologist and I don't think the radiologist knew what to look for).
I have asked myself so many times. I always answer that people believe it is kinder to avoid it as long as they can. -
At what point do we trust our measure of memory loss versus what others near us do of us? Should we trust our perceived loss, are we hypercritical to ourselves that we would not be to others, or is the external viewpoint most accurate?
For me, I feel a huge memory decline over the last 4 years in particular after a significant brain injury, whereas my caretaker friend that I've known 9 years thinks it's not that bad.
@AncTreat5358 No one outside of your head will know which memories you hold or struggle to recall. They’ll only see the outward expression of yourself so if you don’t behave significantly different they won’t know how upsetting it is that you can’t remember a bunch of little things you used to remember.
You absolutely have a greater sense than they do of how you experience your own memory. -
@AncTreat5358 I really struggle with this. I have not had any injury that I can clearly define (unless there is anything to be seen in an MRI scan which was never passed on to my neurologist and I don't think the radiologist knew what to look for).
I have asked myself so many times. I always answer that people believe it is kinder to avoid it as long as they can.@autoperipatetikos So sorry you struggle with this dilemma as well! If we get a positive diagnosis earlier than later, there are sometimes more aggressive treatments to keep it from progressing.
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@AncTreat5358 No one outside of your head will know which memories you hold or struggle to recall. They’ll only see the outward expression of yourself so if you don’t behave significantly different they won’t know how upsetting it is that you can’t remember a bunch of little things you used to remember.
You absolutely have a greater sense than they do of how you experience your own memory.@stephaniepixie Wow, thanks for such a great analysis, Stephanie. Feels very validating to read this, especially as it echos what I hope is accurate.
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@stephaniepixie Wow, thanks for such a great analysis, Stephanie. Feels very validating to read this, especially as it echos what I hope is accurate.
@AncTreat5358 When my dad came out of a coma after 6 days (after a cardiac arrest) he was evaluated by a nurse for his psychological state. They didn’t take into consideration that French is his first language so remembering certain English words wasn’t as quick for him.
They described him as impatient as if it was a sign of brain damage without considering that he is always a grumpy man and this was very much in line with his usual behaviour.
Your caretaker friend was likely trying to assure you that you don’t exhibit significant behavioural abnormalities compared to what they experienced with you before and that there’s likely no serious medical concern.
It still doesn’t mean that your experience of your own brain hasn’t been affected in a significant way.
You have the before and after comparison of how it feels to think your thoughts. No one else does. -
At what point do we trust our measure of memory loss versus what others near us do of us? Should we trust our perceived loss, are we hypercritical to ourselves that we would not be to others, or is the external viewpoint most accurate?
For me, I feel a huge memory decline over the last 4 years in particular after a significant brain injury, whereas my caretaker friend that I've known 9 years thinks it's not that bad.
For me, this is a tough one. It's hard to see how one can get an objective view on this. I see myself having large gaps appear in my memory and it appears it's accelerating. External observers don't see enough to know about the rate of decline. And I don't know enough about overall rates in the general population.
And when my friends and family reassure me it's not as bad as I think, I accuse them of being nice with me.
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@autoperipatetikos So sorry you struggle with this dilemma as well! If we get a positive diagnosis earlier than later, there are sometimes more aggressive treatments to keep it from progressing.
@AncTreat5358 My problem maybe trauma related, and/or burnout and brainfog from numerous causes. But if I can't get anyone to hear me, I can't eliminate or confirm and my fear stretches out in front of me.
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At what point do we trust our measure of memory loss versus what others near us do of us? Should we trust our perceived loss, are we hypercritical to ourselves that we would not be to others, or is the external viewpoint most accurate?
For me, I feel a huge memory decline over the last 4 years in particular after a significant brain injury, whereas my caretaker friend that I've known 9 years thinks it's not that bad.
@AncTreat5358 Forgetting large chunks of things might be a concern, but forgetting little things, like a word, for a moment or some minutes, is probably a natural part of the aging process. At least that's what I think so far.
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At what point do we trust our measure of memory loss versus what others near us do of us? Should we trust our perceived loss, are we hypercritical to ourselves that we would not be to others, or is the external viewpoint most accurate?
For me, I feel a huge memory decline over the last 4 years in particular after a significant brain injury, whereas my caretaker friend that I've known 9 years thinks it's not that bad.
@AncTreat5358 There are also cognition studies you might look into, and papers written about studies that have already taken place.
I just read the review of *Infinite Jest*, an excellent book and the author of the review states: "When I emerged from those weeks of dedicated reading I had a feeling of intensified mental acuity..." Seriously, this book can intensify one's mental acuity. I love this book.
Never mind the lit-bros: Infinite Jest is a true classic at 30
Forget its reputation as a performative read for a certain breed of intense young man, thirty years after its publication, David Foster Wallace’s epic novel still delivers, says the Crying in H Mart author
the Guardian (www.theguardian.com)
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@AncTreat5358 When my dad came out of a coma after 6 days (after a cardiac arrest) he was evaluated by a nurse for his psychological state. They didn’t take into consideration that French is his first language so remembering certain English words wasn’t as quick for him.
They described him as impatient as if it was a sign of brain damage without considering that he is always a grumpy man and this was very much in line with his usual behaviour.
Your caretaker friend was likely trying to assure you that you don’t exhibit significant behavioural abnormalities compared to what they experienced with you before and that there’s likely no serious medical concern.
It still doesn’t mean that your experience of your own brain hasn’t been affected in a significant way.
You have the before and after comparison of how it feels to think your thoughts. No one else does.@stephaniepixie Thank you, Stephanie, for sharing the experience your dad had. Very cautionary tale for doctors to consider all possibilities.
That makes sense of the possible reason for my caretaker friend saying what he did. I hadn't considered that.
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For me, this is a tough one. It's hard to see how one can get an objective view on this. I see myself having large gaps appear in my memory and it appears it's accelerating. External observers don't see enough to know about the rate of decline. And I don't know enough about overall rates in the general population.
And when my friends and family reassure me it's not as bad as I think, I accuse them of being nice with me.
@DziadekMick Thank you for sharing your quite similar experience to mine.
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