Top FEMA Official Claims He Teleported to Waffle House.

[jwz@mastodon.social]

Top FEMA Official Claims He Teleported to Waffle House.

FEMA's Gregg Phillips says he has experienced multiple "scary" episodes of sudden teleportation: Phillips spoke "on multiple podcasts" about being teleported against his will, which he has...
https://jwz.org/b/yk4x

[jgilbert@mastodon.social]

@jwz wasn't my fault, I have an alibi.

[dvshkn@social.treehouse.systems]

@jwz naturally this is why they registered aliens dot gov

[cetan@toot.community]

@jwz having visited a Waffle House for the first time in 15 years last week I can tell you that most of the patrons did not know how they got there either.

[kratzen@berg.mobilecourant.org]

@jwz@mastodon.social There's a million jokes to be said here about his teleportation adventure to waffle house, but the fact that a top official for a disaster relief org genuinely believes this is sad and scary at the same time.

[theorangetheme@en.osm.town]

@cetan @jwz I was gonna say, blacking out and winding up at Waffle House sounds like an average Friday night for some people.

[faithinbones@mastodon.social]

@jwz wow

[guillotine_jones@beige.party]

@jwz
If you're a USian:
This is your government
This is your government on drugs.
Any questions?

[jwz@mastodon.social]

I know none of you click links, let alone Previouslies, but I promise you that all of the Previouslies on this one are worth your time.

[rmi@cloudisland.nz]

@jwz not generally a fan of the Previouslies genre, but these Previouslies definitely paid off.

[cetan@toot.community]

@jwz I love how one previously also contains: "I know that most of you don't read the Previouslies, but these are particularly apt:"

It's Previouslies all the way down!

[jwz@mastodon.social]

@cetan Strange attractors in Previously space

[overeducatedredneck@bitbang.social]

@jwz I pretty pretty often click the previouslies. Especially on posts with unhinged content. Of which, this one is a prime example. Can confirm: totally worth my while.

[j3rn@fosstodon.org]

@jwz Whom amongst us

[gooba42@mastodon.social]

@jwz Even taking the claims at face value, that means he's uniquely unsuited for a position where reliably contacting him at any time is an absolute requirement.

We don't even have to get to the debunking part.

[mdhughes@appdot.net]

@jwz Got down to "What the world needs now is a Grant Morrison / Roger Penrose collaboration." and yes, The Filth has become increasingly plausible mainstream science in this Administration.

[davemwilburn@infosec.exchange]

@gooba42 @jwz

Sounds like you didn't read the link. He may not be reliably contacted at any *place*, but he can be reliably contacted at any *time*, because he doesn't experience the passage of time during his teleportation. Must be hard on the cellular network infrastructure for cell service during those calls, though.

/s

[davemwilburn@infosec.exchange]

@gooba42 @jwz

I'll also point out that this is nowhere near the weirdest thing to happen in a Georgia Waffle House.

And per customary Waffle House disaster response rules, the time to worry isn't when FEMA personnel spontaneously teleport *to* a Waffle House, but rather when they spontaneously teleport *from* one.

[missgayle@urbanists.social]

@jwz

I believe the technical name for that is alcohol induced blackout.

[thasl@social.tchncs.de]

@jwz surely someone has tried to build a graph of all posts linked by previouslies, no?
I'm tempted to try that, but don't want to contribute to the AI bots DDoS-ing your blog^^