What a totally normal guy
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In case you thought maybe “teleporting to Waffle House” was some kind of metaphor. No. He meant it literally
@jalefkowit Sounds like a neurocognitive issue, he should seek expert help.
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In case you thought maybe “teleporting to Waffle House” was some kind of metaphor. No. He meant it literally
@jalefkowit this is daniel pinkwater coded
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In case you thought maybe “teleporting to Waffle House” was some kind of metaphor. No. He meant it literally
@jalefkowit I too have experienced being blackout drunk before
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In case you thought maybe “teleporting to Waffle House” was some kind of metaphor. No. He meant it literally
“I’m not a blackout drunk, Your Honor. I’m in Starfleet”
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In case you thought maybe “teleporting to Waffle House” was some kind of metaphor. No. He meant it literally
@jalefkowit what an incredible adventure. No, really, I find that adventure quite difficult to cred
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In case you thought maybe “teleporting to Waffle House” was some kind of metaphor. No. He meant it literally
@jalefkowit sounds like text spoken by trump
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In case you thought maybe “teleporting to Waffle House” was some kind of metaphor. No. He meant it literally
@jalefkowit should be the next Afroman single
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“I’m not a blackout drunk, Your Honor. I’m in Starfleet”
There is nothing more Southern than falling through a gap in our understanding of space and time and ending up at Waffle House
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@jalefkowit here's my hill to die on: i'm okay with all sorts of Woo, even believing you teleported to a waffle house. but just to be on the safe side, i don't think such people should be spending public money or making policy. unless, you know — they can do it on demand.
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There is nothing more Southern than falling through a gap in our understanding of space and time and ending up at Waffle House
@jalefkowit
It's like Talking Heads, "Once in a lifetime"."You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile"
And you may ask yourself my god, what have I done?
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There is nothing more Southern than falling through a gap in our understanding of space and time and ending up at Waffle House
@jalefkowit waffle house. Hahahahaha!
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You've noticed this as a trend, right? Like... So many of these people are _fucking_ weird.
Like, I'm weird.
I read SciFi/Fantasy and have my whole life. That includes the 'Holy Bible'.
I've never _believed_ I've teleported _anyfuckingwhere_.
I thought it'd be _cool_. I've never _believed_ I've done it though outside of normal ambulation.
They're so fucking _weird_.
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@jalefkowit Rolling Stone says he claims multiple instances of teleportation
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@jalefkowit Rolling Stone says he claims multiple instances of teleportation
@maco Hopefully at least one of them was to someplace more interesting than Waffle House
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@jalefkowit Rolling Stone says he claims multiple instances of teleportation
Like the same way I teleport between my chair and the bathroom or... You know... Covering great distance without passing through the space between those distances...? Like a fucking wizard.
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There is nothing more Southern than falling through a gap in our understanding of space and time and ending up at Waffle House
@jalefkowit People have different theories on the Waffle House—that it exists in the "thin place" where our world and the fae world overlap. That there's only one Waffle House with multiple projections into our reality. That time is actually in a loop at Waffle House.
But it's the one place you could say you teleported to and people who know Waffle House would kind of nod and say, "yeah, I could see that happening."
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@jalefkowit People have different theories on the Waffle House—that it exists in the "thin place" where our world and the fae world overlap. That there's only one Waffle House with multiple projections into our reality. That time is actually in a loop at Waffle House.
But it's the one place you could say you teleported to and people who know Waffle House would kind of nod and say, "yeah, I could see that happening."
@jalefkowit Also, note that he didn't describe anyone at the Waffle House being alarmed about the fact that he'd teleported there. Just that he ended up there and didn't know how.
Which also tracks. If someone materialized next to me at the Waffle House I'd probably give them a quick look and say, "just so you know, they're out of jalapenos..."
