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  3. Has anyone hired someone to live with them or someone close to you in order to augment memory loss, where assisted living facilities aren’t a good fit?

Has anyone hired someone to live with them or someone close to you in order to augment memory loss, where assisted living facilities aren’t a good fit?

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askfedimemorylosslivingassistanc
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  • anctreat5358@mindly.socialA anctreat5358@mindly.social

    Has anyone hired someone to live with them or someone close to you in order to augment memory loss, where assisted living facilities aren’t a good fit? If so, I’d appreciate any insights or concerns to be aware of during the process.

    Boosts for reach are always appreciated.

    #AskFedi #MemoryLoss #LivingAssistance

    trachelipus@masto.aiT This user is from outside of this forum
    trachelipus@masto.aiT This user is from outside of this forum
    trachelipus@masto.ai
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    @AncTreat5358 We tried a nursing agency. Expensive, unmotivated staff, and one agency stole the tax withholdings. We ended up running it ourselves. We divided day and sleepover shifts between two aides and a nearby family member. We paid above going rate, above the table, handled withholdings properly, and treated the aides as knowledgeable professionals. This made the job a viable career; the aides stayed for years. Patient was cooperative, which helped a lot.

    anctreat5358@mindly.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
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    • trachelipus@masto.aiT trachelipus@masto.ai

      @AncTreat5358 We tried a nursing agency. Expensive, unmotivated staff, and one agency stole the tax withholdings. We ended up running it ourselves. We divided day and sleepover shifts between two aides and a nearby family member. We paid above going rate, above the table, handled withholdings properly, and treated the aides as knowledgeable professionals. This made the job a viable career; the aides stayed for years. Patient was cooperative, which helped a lot.

      anctreat5358@mindly.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      anctreat5358@mindly.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      anctreat5358@mindly.social
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      @trachelipus I'm so sorry you experienced that, but am glad you found something that works for you. I can apply your experience to my situation.

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      • anctreat5358@mindly.socialA anctreat5358@mindly.social

        Has anyone hired someone to live with them or someone close to you in order to augment memory loss, where assisted living facilities aren’t a good fit? If so, I’d appreciate any insights or concerns to be aware of during the process.

        Boosts for reach are always appreciated.

        #AskFedi #MemoryLoss #LivingAssistance

        bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
        bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
        bricker@fosstodon.org
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        @AncTreat5358
        For grandfather at the dawn of this new century, family used an agency similar to an au pair agency; brought in a Scandinavian lass working on improving her (already good) English as (nearly) 7/24 live-in monitor/assistant. [a family member would take a shift once a week to give her a day off?] This was in addition to whatever home-health services were mostly-paid by Medicare etc.

        anctreat5358@mindly.socialA bricker@fosstodon.orgB 2 Replies Last reply
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        • bricker@fosstodon.orgB bricker@fosstodon.org

          @AncTreat5358
          For grandfather at the dawn of this new century, family used an agency similar to an au pair agency; brought in a Scandinavian lass working on improving her (already good) English as (nearly) 7/24 live-in monitor/assistant. [a family member would take a shift once a week to give her a day off?] This was in addition to whatever home-health services were mostly-paid by Medicare etc.

          anctreat5358@mindly.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
          anctreat5358@mindly.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
          anctreat5358@mindly.social
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          @BRicker Thanks for sharing your grandfather's experience! Very useful applicable advice for me.

          bricker@fosstodon.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
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          • bricker@fosstodon.orgB bricker@fosstodon.org

            @AncTreat5358
            For grandfather at the dawn of this new century, family used an agency similar to an au pair agency; brought in a Scandinavian lass working on improving her (already good) English as (nearly) 7/24 live-in monitor/assistant. [a family member would take a shift once a week to give her a day off?] This was in addition to whatever home-health services were mostly-paid by Medicare etc.

            bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
            bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
            bricker@fosstodon.org
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            @AncTreat5358
            for Dad a couple years ago, approval discharge to home-hospice required a non-medical attendant. A local medical services agency (spinoff of local hospital) provided 7/24 in rotating shifts. It wasn't cheap, and neither Medicare or LTC insurance covered it (although LTC may eventually have agreed to pay some?) which was a cash-flow bite (was it $10k/mo payable in advance? which for ~700 hrs/mo isn't much pay for those folks?). The visiting nurse was covered and they were excellent

            anctreat5358@mindly.socialA bricker@fosstodon.orgB 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • bricker@fosstodon.orgB bricker@fosstodon.org

              @AncTreat5358
              for Dad a couple years ago, approval discharge to home-hospice required a non-medical attendant. A local medical services agency (spinoff of local hospital) provided 7/24 in rotating shifts. It wasn't cheap, and neither Medicare or LTC insurance covered it (although LTC may eventually have agreed to pay some?) which was a cash-flow bite (was it $10k/mo payable in advance? which for ~700 hrs/mo isn't much pay for those folks?). The visiting nurse was covered and they were excellent

              anctreat5358@mindly.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
              anctreat5358@mindly.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
              anctreat5358@mindly.social
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              @BRicker Thanks for the cautionary tale experience.

              Yes, it does sound like the folks were rather underpaid for their efforts.

              bricker@fosstodon.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
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              • bricker@fosstodon.orgB bricker@fosstodon.org

                @AncTreat5358
                for Dad a couple years ago, approval discharge to home-hospice required a non-medical attendant. A local medical services agency (spinoff of local hospital) provided 7/24 in rotating shifts. It wasn't cheap, and neither Medicare or LTC insurance covered it (although LTC may eventually have agreed to pay some?) which was a cash-flow bite (was it $10k/mo payable in advance? which for ~700 hrs/mo isn't much pay for those folks?). The visiting nurse was covered and they were excellent

                bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                bricker@fosstodon.org
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                @AncTreat5358
                But for Dad, that was terminal hospice, non-ambulatory, not memory-loss keep-out-of-trouble. Grandfather's is more relevant as I understand it.

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                • anctreat5358@mindly.socialA anctreat5358@mindly.social

                  @BRicker Thanks for the cautionary tale experience.

                  Yes, it does sound like the folks were rather underpaid for their efforts.

                  bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bricker@fosstodon.org
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  @AncTreat5358 Given prevailing wage for cashiers in that rural state, get $15/hr for mostly sitting down and doing your knitting/crosswords, on standby to be available and observant, and only occasionally changing an adult diaper is a step up the ladder. Sad but true.

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                  • anctreat5358@mindly.socialA anctreat5358@mindly.social

                    @BRicker Thanks for sharing your grandfather's experience! Very useful applicable advice for me.

                    bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bricker@fosstodon.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bricker@fosstodon.org
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    @AncTreat5358
                    (He quietly enjoyed having a stunning blond minder.)

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                    • astronot@mastodon.onlineA astronot@mastodon.online

                      @AncTreat5358 My grandmother stayed in her home until the end with helpers.

                      We tried individuals but then you become very tied to their schedules and situations. If the person you hired is ill or out for any reason, there is no back up.

                      We also tried an online service that assigned nurses. There isn't the continuity of the same person which can be tough on people with memory issues. Quality also varied. Generally they can get coverage in place if needed but only if they are aware.

                      astronot@mastodon.onlineA This user is from outside of this forum
                      astronot@mastodon.onlineA This user is from outside of this forum
                      astronot@mastodon.online
                      wrote last edited by
                      #16

                      @AncTreat5358 No call No show was an issue either way. A patient with memory issues can't tell you if no one showed.

                      My grandmother fell doing laundry and wasn't able to tell us how long she'd been trapped under the laundry basket.

                      So we had to go from drop ins to round the clock care for her safety. That way there was always a handoff and someone to call us if no one showed.

                      As others mentioned providing full time care is expensive if you pay the reasonable rates needed for quality.

                      anctreat5358@mindly.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • astronot@mastodon.onlineA astronot@mastodon.online

                        @AncTreat5358 No call No show was an issue either way. A patient with memory issues can't tell you if no one showed.

                        My grandmother fell doing laundry and wasn't able to tell us how long she'd been trapped under the laundry basket.

                        So we had to go from drop ins to round the clock care for her safety. That way there was always a handoff and someone to call us if no one showed.

                        As others mentioned providing full time care is expensive if you pay the reasonable rates needed for quality.

                        anctreat5358@mindly.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                        anctreat5358@mindly.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                        anctreat5358@mindly.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #17

                        @astronot Thank you; that’s certainly something to keep in mind as I progress.

                        Thanks also for setting the expectation the cost will be high to do reasonable pay.

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