Well, if it's long COVID awareness day, I'll add my ten cents.
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I've been masked since the exes father and the stepfathers father died and the nature of the virus has been known. Basically five years, when remotely near people. I spend 95% of my life completely alone. To guarantee I survive for my beloved cats, who have been completely shielded. Doctors have not only been mostly useless, but also a risk. Treachery
Long COVID has utterly ruined my life. My loves keep me alive. I've wanted to give up a thousand times. I should donate my penis to science.
Because that little tyrant still works just fine.
I still take a mean photo, which is remarkable, because shit is a blur, and spend my life now loving cats, being a voice of reason for everyone with a melted frontal lobe, because mines still working, and making life difficult for nazis and the Epstein class. I hypocritically lust after mangusta and feadship super yachts. I can afford basic groceries at most.
Basically I'm a frontal lobe with a cock.
Any takers?
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@treleanor it is a lot, and you don't have to be sorry. The idiots who should be, are not.
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Well, if it's long COVID awareness day, I'll add my ten cents.
I was one of the first to contract it in the UK, and have had it as long as anyone, since 2019. Reclusive even then, I was lured out to help a relative who was essentially dying with a heart condition, when his visiting grandson who's father has been working in Saudi passed it to me, and frankly finished him off.
@lhgmk2 that’s one tough journey
I so wish people wouldn’t turn away
Are they hiding from their own guilt?
Sometimes I hate everyone, and my LC a mild compared to yours
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@lhgmk2 that’s one tough journey
I so wish people wouldn’t turn away
Are they hiding from their own guilt?
Sometimes I hate everyone, and my LC a mild compared to yours
@oftencalledcathy yeah I hate everyone. I went forty seven years of my life always suspecting but never knowing the nature of my fellow man. But boy do I now. Do I ever. They're weak. Appallingly so. The emotional immaturity is a disease. I guess all the religion should have tipped me off.
I may be a bag of malfunctioning meat, but my iron will is a confirmed level 100. I used to get imposter syndrome. I laugh at the notion now.
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Because that little tyrant still works just fine.
I still take a mean photo, which is remarkable, because shit is a blur, and spend my life now loving cats, being a voice of reason for everyone with a melted frontal lobe, because mines still working, and making life difficult for nazis and the Epstein class. I hypocritically lust after mangusta and feadship super yachts. I can afford basic groceries at most.
Basically I'm a frontal lobe with a cock.
Any takers?
All of this completely sucks, but the one that really gets me, is the subtle one. A combo. I have cfs, the one thing you'd like to do is sleep. Nap. But because COVID neurologically damaged my throat, I get a version of sleep apnea. I like having a voice that sounds like Optimus prime, but waking with a splitting headache like some bastard has been strangling you in your sleep is not fun. Nor are dreams with bowel pain from trapped wind.
It's getting to PTSD levels. The no peace, ever, thing.
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All of this completely sucks, but the one that really gets me, is the subtle one. A combo. I have cfs, the one thing you'd like to do is sleep. Nap. But because COVID neurologically damaged my throat, I get a version of sleep apnea. I like having a voice that sounds like Optimus prime, but waking with a splitting headache like some bastard has been strangling you in your sleep is not fun. Nor are dreams with bowel pain from trapped wind.
It's getting to PTSD levels. The no peace, ever, thing.
I got broad shoulders, high pain tolerance, I was a grumpy surly bastard years before COVID, few expectations of good things. but that. That no peace.
It's getting to me. That and people pretending the pandemic is over. Knowing how fucking characterless they are. When I can't even fucking nap in peace without biological assault.
Art.once part of my personality, that ability reduced too. That's horrible to lose. Longcovid is a sequence of unfair taxes.
When you speak. I hear you.
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I got broad shoulders, high pain tolerance, I was a grumpy surly bastard years before COVID, few expectations of good things. but that. That no peace.
It's getting to me. That and people pretending the pandemic is over. Knowing how fucking characterless they are. When I can't even fucking nap in peace without biological assault.
Art.once part of my personality, that ability reduced too. That's horrible to lose. Longcovid is a sequence of unfair taxes.
When you speak. I hear you.
It's funny isn't it. The older you get, you realise only the afflicted ever really listen.
At least until that premature altheimers gets em, then they pretty much talk shit and crap their pants. Yup, got one of those in the extended family too.
This month, a woman who shits herself , for whom I had installed a camera system, fixed the WiFi of, and listened to the gibberish of while trying to concentrate for three hours, said I smelled of smoke. Actually because I cleaned my wood burner.
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It's funny isn't it. The older you get, you realise only the afflicted ever really listen.
At least until that premature altheimers gets em, then they pretty much talk shit and crap their pants. Yup, got one of those in the extended family too.
This month, a woman who shits herself , for whom I had installed a camera system, fixed the WiFi of, and listened to the gibberish of while trying to concentrate for three hours, said I smelled of smoke. Actually because I cleaned my wood burner.
She probably thought it was because I smoke brunels steamship tobacco or something, because I smoke. That's me, with stabbing leg pain, concentration issues, who wants to sleep so badly I could consider suicide a viable option. Fixing her stuff.
Taking shit from someone who was probably squeezing shit into their strides as we spoke. As I nearly die to help.
That's humans. That's who the fuck they are. Broken narratives. Passing for identity. The shit we have taken from veils of nothing. Dogma.
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She probably thought it was because I smoke brunels steamship tobacco or something, because I smoke. That's me, with stabbing leg pain, concentration issues, who wants to sleep so badly I could consider suicide a viable option. Fixing her stuff.
Taking shit from someone who was probably squeezing shit into their strides as we spoke. As I nearly die to help.
That's humans. That's who the fuck they are. Broken narratives. Passing for identity. The shit we have taken from veils of nothing. Dogma.
To those still genuinely sentient reading this. Who can listen.
Thanks for being there. I wouldn't want to be the last sane man on earth.
Ever notice it's the sick that do the most for other sick people?
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@oftencalledcathy yeah I hate everyone. I went forty seven years of my life always suspecting but never knowing the nature of my fellow man. But boy do I now. Do I ever. They're weak. Appallingly so. The emotional immaturity is a disease. I guess all the religion should have tipped me off.
I may be a bag of malfunctioning meat, but my iron will is a confirmed level 100. I used to get imposter syndrome. I laugh at the notion now.
@lhgmk2 wishing you, and your lovely cats, all the best
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To those still genuinely sentient reading this. Who can listen.
Thanks for being there. I wouldn't want to be the last sane man on earth.
Ever notice it's the sick that do the most for other sick people?
Apologies for the TMI, my middle name should be Frank. But nothing leads to denial like pearl clutching, and why should I be the only one dealing with how awful goodness is?
I shall now hobble away against the wind. Somebody light the lighter fluid hero insignia on the ground for me. I can't afford to lose a Zippo and I'm not bending down. Nobody wants to see or hear that.
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@lhgmk2 wishing you, and your lovely cats, all the best
@oftencalledcathy Thank you, my pretty babies appreciate it.
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Apologies for the TMI, my middle name should be Frank. But nothing leads to denial like pearl clutching, and why should I be the only one dealing with how awful goodness is?
I shall now hobble away against the wind. Somebody light the lighter fluid hero insignia on the ground for me. I can't afford to lose a Zippo and I'm not bending down. Nobody wants to see or hear that.
@lhgmk2 if more folks were more frank about how god awful the TMI of it all is, and the daily bodily horror, maybe the reality of the risk would actually hit home and folks would take the risk more seriously. Not a lot is more frightening to many people than losing this much dignity. I really miss being able to just take a shower. So, so much.
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@lhgmk2 if more folks were more frank about how god awful the TMI of it all is, and the daily bodily horror, maybe the reality of the risk would actually hit home and folks would take the risk more seriously. Not a lot is more frightening to many people than losing this much dignity. I really miss being able to just take a shower. So, so much.
@secretsloth you're right, it is actual daily body horror, and you don't need to watch videodrome or existenz to get it.
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@treleanor coo, get you with your luxury items.
Yeah, all apnea sucks. I do sympathise.I recorded myself to see how bad it was, I don't even snore. My body just forgets to use my nose when allergies hit in my sleep and my mouth doesn't open. I just choke. My autonomous functions are broken. I now have to make sure my nose can always work and take meds to keep it open. Ridiculous situation.
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@treleanor I had to come off pills to help me sleep a while back because I had flu, and I couldn't afford deep sleep in case I suffocated. This shit genuinely sucks.
I'm genuinely a bit scared of it, but it's now just instinctive fear, like of drowning, because after three years of it, it's got me miserable bored with it.
People wonder why I get moody
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@treleanor I had to come off pills to help me sleep a while back because I had flu, and I couldn't afford deep sleep in case I suffocated. This shit genuinely sucks.
I'm genuinely a bit scared of it, but it's now just instinctive fear, like of drowning, because after three years of it, it's got me miserable bored with it.
People wonder why I get moody
@treleanor I can't sleep near a time I've eaten because my sinuses swell for about two hours. I used to like eating and napping.
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@secretsloth you're right, it is actual daily body horror, and you don't need to watch videodrome or existenz to get it.
@lhgmk2 and they don't know why, or what is or isn't actually long covid related. Things come and go and that makes doctors doubt us. But then again, I've just had a humdinger of a crash that like... I suspect something secondary is probably involved, but I didn't realize, because I thought it was just another long covid problem. And it could be! Who knows! Will the docs care? Who knows. Can they find out without killing me? Spin the wheel. Because I'm at the limit of what I can figure out.
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@lhgmk2 and they don't know why, or what is or isn't actually long covid related. Things come and go and that makes doctors doubt us. But then again, I've just had a humdinger of a crash that like... I suspect something secondary is probably involved, but I didn't realize, because I thought it was just another long covid problem. And it could be! Who knows! Will the docs care? Who knows. Can they find out without killing me? Spin the wheel. Because I'm at the limit of what I can figure out.
@lhgmk2 and there we have the flipside of the horror coin. We don't have the ability to leave these questions to out doctors because *they don't know,* even if they do listen. We have to figure this out ourselves, like, in our own bodies and also as a community, because doctors just seem to have thrown up their hands about it. And that. Just. Sucks. Even doctors aren't their own doctors. Nobody would want to be. But here we are. Horror upon horror upon horror.
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