Guy who took home $40 million in gold bars from CIA office supply closet is criminally charged with padding his resume.
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Guy who took home $40 million in gold bars from CIA office supply closet is criminally charged with padding his resume. Because you have to draw the line somewhere.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/may/29/cia-official-gold-theft-trial@mattblaze I wonder how many others have been doing this? Including Spanky.
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@mattblaze I wonder how many others have been doing this? Including Spanky.
@CStamp I mean, I understand the temptation. You’re running late and won’t have time to stop and pick up gold bars on the way home, so you grab a couple from the stack next to the photocopier paper. But 300 bars? Excessive by any standard.
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PLEASE DO NOT SMELT GOLD BARS
IN THE MICROWAVE. THANK YOU.@20002ist @mattblaze @ai6yr TAKE A BAR LEAVE A BAR
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Guy who took home $40 million in gold bars from CIA office supply closet is criminally charged with padding his resume. Because you have to draw the line somewhere.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/may/29/cia-official-gold-theft-trialI'm sure it was just a misunderstanding.
He probably asked about taking them,
but told he should be barred. -
@mattblaze @armb @ai6yr This would have been a great strategy for thwarting the MTA token-suckers back in the 1990s.
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@CStamp I mean, I understand the temptation. You’re running late and won’t have time to stop and pick up gold bars on the way home, so you grab a couple from the stack next to the photocopier paper. But 300 bars? Excessive by any standard.
@mattblaze LOL. Who sets the bar for what’s enough?
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@CStamp I mean, I understand the temptation. You’re running late and won’t have time to stop and pick up gold bars on the way home, so you grab a couple from the stack next to the photocopier paper. But 300 bars? Excessive by any standard.
@mattblaze @CStamp "Gold bars?! No, no, no, I said protein bars! We need protein bars. The ones we keep in the staff kitchen. Where did you even get these?"
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@mattblaze @CStamp "Gold bars?! No, no, no, I said protein bars! We need protein bars. The ones we keep in the staff kitchen. Where did you even get these?"
@chronovore @mattblaze @CStamp I believe I may have discovered the source of the confusion:
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@mattblaze @CStamp "Gold bars?! No, no, no, I said protein bars! We need protein bars. The ones we keep in the staff kitchen. Where did you even get these?"
@chronovore @CStamp The CIA supply catalog is probably much more interesting than at most offices. “Who ordered the rocket launcher? And please return my stapler.”
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I'll bet he left the light on in the bathroom, too.
And the toilet seat up, of course
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@mattblaze LOL, the CIA just has gold bars lying around in the office? Gee, I just got promotional pens at work.
Your Honour,
The gold that was found under my bed wasn't stolen. For the good of the CIA, it was being hidden, from being stolen by Trump, his family and friends. Every one knows his gold fetish.
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And the toilet seat up, of course
@GhostOnTheHalfShell you just know he has a fake handicap parking pass, too.
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@CStamp I mean, I understand the temptation. You’re running late and won’t have time to stop and pick up gold bars on the way home, so you grab a couple from the stack next to the photocopier paper. But 300 bars? Excessive by any standard.
@mattblaze @CStamp
Is it really stealing if you submitted a reimbursement request? -
@ai6yr PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR CO-WORKERS AND TAKE ONLY AS MANY GOLD BARS AS YOU NEED.
@mattblaze @ai6yr
YOUR MOTHER DOES NOT WORK HERE. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE UNWASHED GOLD BARS IN THE SINK. -
Guy who took home $40 million in gold bars from CIA office supply closet is criminally charged with padding his resume. Because you have to draw the line somewhere.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/may/29/cia-official-gold-theft-trialsigh, this is potentially so bad
indictments can be supersededthe 1st indictment is the easiest to charge, so they can hold him with bail
right ?
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sigh, this is potentially so bad
indictments can be supersededthe 1st indictment is the easiest to charge, so they can hold him with bail
right ?
@failedLyndonLaRouchite almost certainly. One open question is whether the resume padding was discovered while investigating the gold, or vise versa.
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Guy who took home $40 million in gold bars from CIA office supply closet is criminally charged with padding his resume. Because you have to draw the line somewhere.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/may/29/cia-official-gold-theft-trial@mattblaze There is absolutely no way to read the phrase "...discovered missing from an office he used at a government storage space" and NOT picture some guy rolling by with the Ark of the Covenant in a box on a pallet jack. -
@mattblaze @armb "THE HILTON ONLY TAKES GOLD BARS"
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@ai6yr PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR CO-WORKERS AND TAKE ONLY AS MANY GOLD BARS AS YOU NEED.
@mattblaze @ai6yr meanwhile, in the office I work out of there are signs in all of the supply cabinets declaring them to be off-limits to anyone not working on a specific charge code and all but demanding that you stop even looking at the cabinet.
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@mattblaze There is absolutely no way to read the phrase "...discovered missing from an office he used at a government storage space" and NOT picture some guy rolling by with the Ark of the Covenant in a box on a pallet jack.@mattblaze Also, he lied about his identity...isn't that what you're supposed to do in the CIA? Kinda defeats the purpose if you announce that you're a spy...
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