Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth.
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I don't generally "feel like a woman". I feel like me.
But, like, do you understand that for decades before I transitioned I was fantasising about, pining for, the idea of having a female body, of being recognised as a woman, going thru life as one?
I tried to stoically accept that I was a man, I tried to embrace non-traditional masculinity, I tried everything to make this need go away. It didn't.
So I have to conclude, this is something real.
3/And then, having run out of other options, I finally tried the things I had ruled out previously as too scary, the things that would bring judgment down on me.
I tried transition. Tho at the time I hadn't even realised myself as a woman.
I was shit scared. I did it anyway.
4/ -
Truth is I don't know. Gender seems a complicated, vague concept to me, and I don't know why I feel the need to be a woman. It wasn't intentional. I never experienced any great internal revelation or certainty.
Nonetheless, evidentially, I am happier and more well-balanced as a woman. Even despite the transphobia I experience.
2/@Tattie yes this is exactly my experience too. The more I experience life as a woman, the harder it becomes to pretend to be a man. I don't know how to explain this but it's undeniable
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And then, having run out of other options, I finally tried the things I had ruled out previously as too scary, the things that would bring judgment down on me.
I tried transition. Tho at the time I hadn't even realised myself as a woman.
I was shit scared. I did it anyway.
4/I tried painting my nails. It brought me happiness. I tried feminine accessories. They brought comfort. I tried shaving my body hair. It felt calming.
I started dressing in femme clothes, around the house. It felt exciting at first, then just... right.
And then I went on hormones. And everything accelerated. My body itself began to feel like a home, like a friend. I hadn't realised how much or how long I had been suffering, because it had just felt normal.
5/ -
I tried painting my nails. It brought me happiness. I tried feminine accessories. They brought comfort. I tried shaving my body hair. It felt calming.
I started dressing in femme clothes, around the house. It felt exciting at first, then just... right.
And then I went on hormones. And everything accelerated. My body itself began to feel like a home, like a friend. I hadn't realised how much or how long I had been suffering, because it had just felt normal.
5/This is fact: transitioning to be more female in body, more feminine in presentation, and taking on a female-coded social role, made me feel vastly better in myself.
I know this is true of me, and many like me. And the experiences of transmasculine people in the other direction inform me that it's not as simple as womanhood just being better for everyone. It was something about me.
6/ -
This is fact: transitioning to be more female in body, more feminine in presentation, and taking on a female-coded social role, made me feel vastly better in myself.
I know this is true of me, and many like me. And the experiences of transmasculine people in the other direction inform me that it's not as simple as womanhood just being better for everyone. It was something about me.
6/This is so beautiful, so good, and so true.
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This is fact: transitioning to be more female in body, more feminine in presentation, and taking on a female-coded social role, made me feel vastly better in myself.
I know this is true of me, and many like me. And the experiences of transmasculine people in the other direction inform me that it's not as simple as womanhood just being better for everyone. It was something about me.
6/That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.
No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.
But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.
I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
Fin/ -
Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?
But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/
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That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.
No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.
But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.
I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
Fin/i am bookmarking this thread. This is precisely on target. Very well said!
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@goatsarah I just think it's neat dot gif.
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i am bookmarking this thread. This is precisely on target. Very well said!
@moriel thank you!
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Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?
But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/
Thank you for expressing this, it describes (more clearly than I could) a lot of my own experiences..
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That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.
No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.
But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.
I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
Fin/@Tattie in fact, I'm sharing a Masto Reader link to this thread on my woke family Signal chat so they can understand what dysphoria is like since it is hard to explain and you have done so in an almost poetic way.
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Thank you for expressing this, it describes (more clearly than I could) a lot of my own experiences..
@RuthODay2 I am honoured by the trifecta!
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That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.
No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.
But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.
I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
Fin/@Tattie elegantly said and true.
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Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?
But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/
@Tattie I think even more fundamentally - there's been entire books and a million blogs of personal narratives, lots of them. Medical research studies, medical associations, entire international interdisciplinary organizations of people who are the world experts in gender diversity. They all say trans people are real, valid, and who they say they are. If someone isn't willing to accept those piles of evidence, then challenging an individual trans person is just hunting for some gotcha.
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@Tattie in fact, I'm sharing a Masto Reader link to this thread on my woke family Signal chat so they can understand what dysphoria is like since it is hard to explain and you have done so in an almost poetic way.
@Tattie cousin told me, after reading it, that her 25 year old AMAB child thinks he might be transgender. They are currently dating a trans woman, too. Thank you for helping to open up that dialogue.
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Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?
But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/
I'm happier as a girl and the evidence suggests it has to do with my brain but that's all I can conclusively say
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@Tattie cousin told me, after reading it, that her 25 year old AMAB child thinks he might be transgender. They are currently dating a trans woman, too. Thank you for helping to open up that dialogue.
@jrdepriest oh my gosh, I'm so happy that I could be part of that!
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Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?
But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/
@Tattie also a cis person who has never interrogated their gender will get real defensive if you try and flip the question on them. they'll say "i just am" or something
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@Tattie also a cis person who has never interrogated their gender will get real defensive if you try and flip the question on them. they'll say "i just am" or something
Yep, funny that
I'm CIS and have never been able to explain why I am CIS, why I am happy with my gender matching my biological sex. I just am. And I don't believe any CIS person really could. So why on earth should any trans person be expected to?
