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  3. Dear app developers,I have never had the desire to review an app.

Dear app developers,I have never had the desire to review an app.

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  • malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM This user is from outside of this forum
    malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM This user is from outside of this forum
    malwarejake@infosec.exchange
    wrote last edited by
    #1

    Dear app developers,
    I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
    Sincerely,
    Every smartphone user ever

    kajer@infosec.exchangeK mattblaze@federate.socialM reijomancer@defcon.socialR cstross@wandering.shopC yadt@tech.lgbtY 23 Replies Last reply
    4
    0
    • malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM malwarejake@infosec.exchange

      Dear app developers,
      I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
      Sincerely,
      Every smartphone user ever

      kajer@infosec.exchangeK This user is from outside of this forum
      kajer@infosec.exchangeK This user is from outside of this forum
      kajer@infosec.exchange
      wrote last edited by
      #2

      @malwarejake

      can we also add aboilishing "new user" tutorials to that demand too?

      malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • kajer@infosec.exchangeK kajer@infosec.exchange

        @malwarejake

        can we also add aboilishing "new user" tutorials to that demand too?

        malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM This user is from outside of this forum
        malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM This user is from outside of this forum
        malwarejake@infosec.exchange
        wrote last edited by
        #3

        @kajer Sure, but at least that's a one time thing.

        kajer@infosec.exchangeK 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM malwarejake@infosec.exchange

          Dear app developers,
          I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
          Sincerely,
          Every smartphone user ever

          mattblaze@federate.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
          mattblaze@federate.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
          mattblaze@federate.social
          wrote last edited by
          #4

          @malwarejake I'm especially put off by the popups that interrupt me as soon as I open the app. "Do you love the FedEx app?" No, I just want to track my fucking package. And that's a really stalker-y way to ask, frankly.

          drsbaitso@infosec.exchangeD jernej__s@infosec.exchangeJ cibyr@omg.wtf.shC malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB 7 Replies Last reply
          0
          • malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM malwarejake@infosec.exchange

            Dear app developers,
            I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
            Sincerely,
            Every smartphone user ever

            reijomancer@defcon.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
            reijomancer@defcon.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
            reijomancer@defcon.social
            wrote last edited by
            #5

            @malwarejake @petrillic Amen!

            dismiss, dismiss, rate zero stars & turn off notifications.

            If they do some sort of in app spam, I skip to leave a review and delete.

            I am not your advertising or beta test agency.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM malwarejake@infosec.exchange

              @kajer Sure, but at least that's a one time thing.

              kajer@infosec.exchangeK This user is from outside of this forum
              kajer@infosec.exchangeK This user is from outside of this forum
              kajer@infosec.exchange
              wrote last edited by
              #6

              @malwarejake until you reinstall for literally any reason, and get mandatory new-user hints and tips and intros and tutorials....

              I have 8000 hours in this program, I'm not a new user damnit.

              references: gestures broadly at ALL SOFTWARE

              zzt@mas.toZ barsk@infosec.exchangeB 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • mattblaze@federate.socialM mattblaze@federate.social

                @malwarejake I'm especially put off by the popups that interrupt me as soon as I open the app. "Do you love the FedEx app?" No, I just want to track my fucking package. And that's a really stalker-y way to ask, frankly.

                drsbaitso@infosec.exchangeD This user is from outside of this forum
                drsbaitso@infosec.exchangeD This user is from outside of this forum
                drsbaitso@infosec.exchange
                wrote last edited by
                #7

                @mattblaze @malwarejake Yeah, most apps aren't special or lovable. They're meant to be functional. They have a function that they can complete or not complete. If my can opener made me stop and review it before I could open a goddamned can of beans, I'd throw it through a window.

                mattblaze@federate.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM malwarejake@infosec.exchange

                  Dear app developers,
                  I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
                  Sincerely,
                  Every smartphone user ever

                  cstross@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                  cstross@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                  cstross@wandering.shop
                  wrote last edited by
                  #8

                  @malwarejake Apps that persistently nudge me to leave a review get a one-star review: "nagware, forces you to leave a review, DO NOT USE".

                  montef@mastodon.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM malwarejake@infosec.exchange

                    Dear app developers,
                    I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
                    Sincerely,
                    Every smartphone user ever

                    yadt@tech.lgbtY This user is from outside of this forum
                    yadt@tech.lgbtY This user is from outside of this forum
                    yadt@tech.lgbt
                    wrote last edited by
                    #9

                    @malwarejake

                    I simply take the easy path and leave a review when they prompt me. But not a good review.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • R relay@relay.publicsquare.global shared this topic
                    • cstross@wandering.shopC cstross@wandering.shop

                      @malwarejake Apps that persistently nudge me to leave a review get a one-star review: "nagware, forces you to leave a review, DO NOT USE".

                      montef@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                      montef@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                      montef@mastodon.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #10

                      @cstross @malwarejake @chetwisniewski I especially detest the apps that nag me for a review *as part of the initial installation*, before I have ever used the app!

                      Free PSA for App Developers:
                      If you ask me for a review of your app, before I have exited the App Store during the installation process; you WILL get a One Star review. 😡😡😡
                      Your app may very well be the best app in the history of apps, but that kind of desperate begging for a rating and review; will absolutely backfire on you.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • R relay@relay.an.exchange shared this topic
                      • kajer@infosec.exchangeK kajer@infosec.exchange

                        @malwarejake until you reinstall for literally any reason, and get mandatory new-user hints and tips and intros and tutorials....

                        I have 8000 hours in this program, I'm not a new user damnit.

                        references: gestures broadly at ALL SOFTWARE

                        zzt@mas.toZ This user is from outside of this forum
                        zzt@mas.toZ This user is from outside of this forum
                        zzt@mas.to
                        wrote last edited by
                        #11

                        @kajer @malwarejake or some PM decides whichever new feature you don’t care about is worth a forced new user flow aka an ad

                        sometimes when you start using the software for the first time it just dumps these on you for random features

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • drsbaitso@infosec.exchangeD drsbaitso@infosec.exchange

                          @mattblaze @malwarejake Yeah, most apps aren't special or lovable. They're meant to be functional. They have a function that they can complete or not complete. If my can opener made me stop and review it before I could open a goddamned can of beans, I'd throw it through a window.

                          mattblaze@federate.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                          mattblaze@federate.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                          mattblaze@federate.social
                          wrote last edited by
                          #12

                          @drsbaitso @malwarejake I'm imaging how this would go in the pre-app era, when you had to call a human agent to track the package:

                          "Fedex, can I help you?"

                          "Yes, I'd like to track a package."

                          "OK, but first, I need you to tell me if you love me."

                          "What?"

                          "I can't do this anymore if I don't feel loved and appreciated."

                          "Um, I just want to track a package."

                          "Yes, yes. Of course you do, That's what I thought. I suppose I'm not worthy of love. I have to hang up now. I'll be thinking of you."

                          drsbaitso@infosec.exchangeD 1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          0
                          • mattblaze@federate.socialM mattblaze@federate.social

                            @malwarejake I'm especially put off by the popups that interrupt me as soon as I open the app. "Do you love the FedEx app?" No, I just want to track my fucking package. And that's a really stalker-y way to ask, frankly.

                            jernej__s@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            jernej__s@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            jernej__s@infosec.exchange
                            wrote last edited by
                            #13

                            @mattblaze @malwarejake I leave a negative review every time this happens.

                            kishi@meow.socialK 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • mattblaze@federate.socialM mattblaze@federate.social

                              @drsbaitso @malwarejake I'm imaging how this would go in the pre-app era, when you had to call a human agent to track the package:

                              "Fedex, can I help you?"

                              "Yes, I'd like to track a package."

                              "OK, but first, I need you to tell me if you love me."

                              "What?"

                              "I can't do this anymore if I don't feel loved and appreciated."

                              "Um, I just want to track a package."

                              "Yes, yes. Of course you do, That's what I thought. I suppose I'm not worthy of love. I have to hang up now. I'll be thinking of you."

                              drsbaitso@infosec.exchangeD This user is from outside of this forum
                              drsbaitso@infosec.exchangeD This user is from outside of this forum
                              drsbaitso@infosec.exchange
                              wrote last edited by
                              #14

                              @mattblaze @malwarejake "Oh, I'll be thinking of you too. Not fondly."

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • mattblaze@federate.socialM mattblaze@federate.social

                                @malwarejake I'm especially put off by the popups that interrupt me as soon as I open the app. "Do you love the FedEx app?" No, I just want to track my fucking package. And that's a really stalker-y way to ask, frankly.

                                cibyr@omg.wtf.shC This user is from outside of this forum
                                cibyr@omg.wtf.shC This user is from outside of this forum
                                cibyr@omg.wtf.sh
                                wrote last edited by
                                #15

                                @mattblaze @malwarejake worse, most of them shouldn't even be apps to begin with! I just want to track my fucking package; that's a web page not a goddamn app!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM malwarejake@infosec.exchange

                                  Dear app developers,
                                  I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
                                  Sincerely,
                                  Every smartphone user ever

                                  ujay68@mastodon.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                                  ujay68@mastodon.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                                  ujay68@mastodon.world
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #16

                                  @malwarejake Especially if you have the “Don’t asks for reviews” flag set. 🙄

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • jernej__s@infosec.exchangeJ jernej__s@infosec.exchange

                                    @mattblaze @malwarejake I leave a negative review every time this happens.

                                    kishi@meow.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    kishi@meow.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    kishi@meow.social
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #17

                                    @jernej__s
                                    This is the way
                                    @mattblaze @malwarejake

                                    mattblaze@federate.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • malwarejake@infosec.exchangeM malwarejake@infosec.exchange

                                      Dear app developers,
                                      I have never had the desire to review an app. Prompting me to leave a review doe not make me want to do it any more. Making me click multiple times to dismiss your "nudge" and get back to using the app just makes me want to uninstall it.
                                      Sincerely,
                                      Every smartphone user ever

                                      saucetweet@defcon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      saucetweet@defcon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      saucetweet@defcon.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #18

                                      @malwarejake I normally review apps that constantly nudge with a 1 star.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • kishi@meow.socialK kishi@meow.social

                                        @jernej__s
                                        This is the way
                                        @mattblaze @malwarejake

                                        mattblaze@federate.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        mattblaze@federate.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        mattblaze@federate.social
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #19

                                        @Kishi @jernej__s @malwarejake I wonder if it is, in a world where metrics of “engagement” are more valued than actual quality.

                                        kishi@meow.socialK 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • mattblaze@federate.socialM mattblaze@federate.social

                                          @Kishi @jernej__s @malwarejake I wonder if it is, in a world where metrics of “engagement” are more valued than actual quality.

                                          kishi@meow.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                          kishi@meow.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                          kishi@meow.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #20

                                          @mattblaze @jernej__s @malwarejake

                                          Yeah, there is that as well, but at that point, they might as well begin counting "tap away or close" as a positive engagement. Not sure if we're at that point, but right now, everything stupid seems plausible.

                                          A 1 Reply Last reply
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