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  3. Oh honey, no one is telling children they're trans. Trust me.

Oh honey, no one is telling children they're trans. Trust me.

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  • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

    No one told me I was trans. I wish someone had told me when I was young enough for it to have mattered. And the message I got from society certainly wasn't, "You might possibly be trans." It was, "Yes, there are a few trans people and they are freaks and jokes and you can't possibly be trans."

    I hope that might have improved a little. I think some kids get a more balanced message, like, "There are trans people and that's okay." (That's slightly sarcastic.) Hell, "Trans people are freaks and jokes," is still an improvement over, "There are no trans people."

    But sweet fuck, statistically speaking, no one is telling kids, "You are trans." No one is even telling them, "You might be trans." That's a made-up fear. But again, the people who made it up know that.

    properlypurple@tech.lgbtP This user is from outside of this forum
    properlypurple@tech.lgbtP This user is from outside of this forum
    properlypurple@tech.lgbt
    wrote last edited by
    #5

    @YouShallNotPass This, so much this.

    My first exposure to transness was characters in Bollywood movies who were child kidnappers or just bad/villainous people, and that really fucked up my worldview for quite some time.

    youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

      No one told me I was trans. I wish someone had told me when I was young enough for it to have mattered. And the message I got from society certainly wasn't, "You might possibly be trans." It was, "Yes, there are a few trans people and they are freaks and jokes and you can't possibly be trans."

      I hope that might have improved a little. I think some kids get a more balanced message, like, "There are trans people and that's okay." (That's slightly sarcastic.) Hell, "Trans people are freaks and jokes," is still an improvement over, "There are no trans people."

      But sweet fuck, statistically speaking, no one is telling kids, "You are trans." No one is even telling them, "You might be trans." That's a made-up fear. But again, the people who made it up know that.

      moriel@chaosfem.twM This user is from outside of this forum
      moriel@chaosfem.twM This user is from outside of this forum
      moriel@chaosfem.tw
      wrote last edited by
      #6

      @YouShallNotPass

      Oh yeah. When i as growing up trans people were only ever trotted out on daytime talk shows as freaks to be laughed at. i remember the information desert that kept me from knowing what i was until i was 19

      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

        No one told me I was trans. I wish someone had told me when I was young enough for it to have mattered. And the message I got from society certainly wasn't, "You might possibly be trans." It was, "Yes, there are a few trans people and they are freaks and jokes and you can't possibly be trans."

        I hope that might have improved a little. I think some kids get a more balanced message, like, "There are trans people and that's okay." (That's slightly sarcastic.) Hell, "Trans people are freaks and jokes," is still an improvement over, "There are no trans people."

        But sweet fuck, statistically speaking, no one is telling kids, "You are trans." No one is even telling them, "You might be trans." That's a made-up fear. But again, the people who made it up know that.

        pooserville@dice.campP This user is from outside of this forum
        pooserville@dice.campP This user is from outside of this forum
        pooserville@dice.camp
        wrote last edited by
        #7

        @YouShallNotPass I want to live in a world where loving my trans stepkids isn’t a radical act. But also, I’m okay with being a radical when necessary.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

          Oh honey, no one is telling children they're trans. Trust me. Everyone is telling children that they're cis, repeatedly, hard, insistently, like a chorus of total negation. If a kid manages to figure out that they're trans in spite of every fucking thing in the world telling them they aren't trans, it wasn't because someone told them they were trans. The most they likely ever heard, and it's not all that likely, is that it's okay to be trans.

          But you know that already. You don't want anyone to stop telling children they're trans, because no one does that. What you want is for it not to be okay to be trans.

          pedestrianerror@towns.gayP This user is from outside of this forum
          pedestrianerror@towns.gayP This user is from outside of this forum
          pedestrianerror@towns.gay
          wrote last edited by
          #8

          @YouShallNotPass And of course most of the same people also want it not to be ok to be even a little gender nonconforming without being trans, so what they're ultimately pushing for is no individuality and rigid conformity to assigned roles in the farce that is the patriarchy.

          youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

            Oh honey, no one is telling children they're trans. Trust me. Everyone is telling children that they're cis, repeatedly, hard, insistently, like a chorus of total negation. If a kid manages to figure out that they're trans in spite of every fucking thing in the world telling them they aren't trans, it wasn't because someone told them they were trans. The most they likely ever heard, and it's not all that likely, is that it's okay to be trans.

            But you know that already. You don't want anyone to stop telling children they're trans, because no one does that. What you want is for it not to be okay to be trans.

            madengineering@mastodon.cloudM This user is from outside of this forum
            madengineering@mastodon.cloudM This user is from outside of this forum
            madengineering@mastodon.cloud
            wrote last edited by
            #9

            @YouShallNotPass I think these are the same people as the ones who insist that I was forcibly converted to Islam back when I was in the seventh grade because they couldn't handle the fact that religions other than their particular flavor or Baptism exist.
            They also believe I've been murdered at least 17 times. So yeah, not exactly the best grip on reality.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

              No one told me I was trans. I wish someone had told me when I was young enough for it to have mattered. And the message I got from society certainly wasn't, "You might possibly be trans." It was, "Yes, there are a few trans people and they are freaks and jokes and you can't possibly be trans."

              I hope that might have improved a little. I think some kids get a more balanced message, like, "There are trans people and that's okay." (That's slightly sarcastic.) Hell, "Trans people are freaks and jokes," is still an improvement over, "There are no trans people."

              But sweet fuck, statistically speaking, no one is telling kids, "You are trans." No one is even telling them, "You might be trans." That's a made-up fear. But again, the people who made it up know that.

              grace@social.lolG This user is from outside of this forum
              grace@social.lolG This user is from outside of this forum
              grace@social.lol
              wrote last edited by
              #10

              @YouShallNotPass what I would give to have had someone tell me I was trans.

              The time I could have had... The love I could have shown myself...

              youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY naga@toot.catN 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • properlypurple@tech.lgbtP properlypurple@tech.lgbt

                @YouShallNotPass This, so much this.

                My first exposure to transness was characters in Bollywood movies who were child kidnappers or just bad/villainous people, and that really fucked up my worldview for quite some time.

                youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                wrote last edited by
                #11

                @properlypurple
                Yeah, mine was trans people on daytime talk shows who were all made out to be freaks. Society doesn't like us. I'm sorry you had to go through that 😞❤️

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • grace@social.lolG grace@social.lol

                  @YouShallNotPass what I would give to have had someone tell me I was trans.

                  The time I could have had... The love I could have shown myself...

                  youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                  youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                  youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                  wrote last edited by
                  #12

                  @grace
                  Yes. Very much this. But I hope you're able to show yourself a little love now ❤️

                  grace@social.lolG 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • moriel@chaosfem.twM moriel@chaosfem.tw

                    @YouShallNotPass

                    Oh yeah. When i as growing up trans people were only ever trotted out on daytime talk shows as freaks to be laughed at. i remember the information desert that kept me from knowing what i was until i was 19

                    youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                    youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                    youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                    wrote last edited by
                    #13

                    @moriel
                    Me too. That and Ace Ventura. Ugh.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • pedestrianerror@towns.gayP pedestrianerror@towns.gay

                      @YouShallNotPass And of course most of the same people also want it not to be ok to be even a little gender nonconforming without being trans, so what they're ultimately pushing for is no individuality and rigid conformity to assigned roles in the farce that is the patriarchy.

                      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                      wrote last edited by
                      #14

                      @PedestrianError
                      Let's be honest, a lot of people who are pushing this want it not to be okay to be anything but a cishet white man. Yes, maybe cishet white women have to exist for them, but they still want those women to be not okay.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

                        @grace
                        Yes. Very much this. But I hope you're able to show yourself a little love now ❤️

                        grace@social.lolG This user is from outside of this forum
                        grace@social.lolG This user is from outside of this forum
                        grace@social.lol
                        wrote last edited by
                        #15

                        @YouShallNotPass thanks! It is a journey but I'm getting there. 🤗

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • grace@social.lolG grace@social.lol

                          @YouShallNotPass what I would give to have had someone tell me I was trans.

                          The time I could have had... The love I could have shown myself...

                          naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
                          naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
                          naga@toot.cat
                          wrote last edited by
                          #16

                          @grace @YouShallNotPass I'm going through this now at 57, exploring and realizing I might be/probably am trans. There were so many clues when I was, say, 6 to 14, that are coming back to mind.

                          grace@social.lolG 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • naga@toot.catN naga@toot.cat

                            @grace @YouShallNotPass I'm going through this now at 57, exploring and realizing I might be/probably am trans. There were so many clues when I was, say, 6 to 14, that are coming back to mind.

                            grace@social.lolG This user is from outside of this forum
                            grace@social.lolG This user is from outside of this forum
                            grace@social.lol
                            wrote last edited by
                            #17

                            @naga @YouShallNotPass same!!

                            I'm 43 and just getting started. I didn't realize that most men didn't feel like a stranger around men or that you were just trapped in a meat suit.

                            youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY naga@toot.catN 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • grace@social.lolG grace@social.lol

                              @naga @YouShallNotPass same!!

                              I'm 43 and just getting started. I didn't realize that most men didn't feel like a stranger around men or that you were just trapped in a meat suit.

                              youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                              youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                              youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                              wrote last edited by
                              #18

                              @grace @naga
                              There are usually so many signs once you know what you look for. Try not to beat yourself up about it though. No one told you what you look for.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • grace@social.lolG grace@social.lol

                                @naga @YouShallNotPass same!!

                                I'm 43 and just getting started. I didn't realize that most men didn't feel like a stranger around men or that you were just trapped in a meat suit.

                                naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
                                naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
                                naga@toot.cat
                                wrote last edited by
                                #19

                                @grace @YouShallNotPass I remember first grade and wishing I were a girl because I didn't like the way boys acted and didn't want to have to hang out with them or conform to the expectations of how boys act.

                                naga@toot.catN 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • naga@toot.catN naga@toot.cat

                                  @grace @YouShallNotPass I remember first grade and wishing I were a girl because I didn't like the way boys acted and didn't want to have to hang out with them or conform to the expectations of how boys act.

                                  naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  naga@toot.cat
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #20

                                  @grace @YouShallNotPass And it still took another 50 years ... the last few of which I'd already taken to wearing skirts.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

                                    Oh honey, no one is telling children they're trans. Trust me. Everyone is telling children that they're cis, repeatedly, hard, insistently, like a chorus of total negation. If a kid manages to figure out that they're trans in spite of every fucking thing in the world telling them they aren't trans, it wasn't because someone told them they were trans. The most they likely ever heard, and it's not all that likely, is that it's okay to be trans.

                                    But you know that already. You don't want anyone to stop telling children they're trans, because no one does that. What you want is for it not to be okay to be trans.

                                    saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    saorsa@neondystopia.world
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #21
                                    Not something that should ever be relevant until puberty.

                                    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                                    youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • saorsa@neondystopia.worldS saorsa@neondystopia.world
                                      Not something that should ever be relevant until puberty.

                                      @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                                      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                                      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                                      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #22

                                      @Saorsa
                                      So your thesis is that we don't develop genders until we hit puberty?

                                      saorsa@neondystopia.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

                                        @Saorsa
                                        So your thesis is that we don't develop genders until we hit puberty?

                                        saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        saorsa@neondystopia.world
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #23
                                        That children should be left to be children until a time where it is appropriate to discuss. Gender expression doesn't cross the minds of my children and when prompted voluntarily, it should be up to the parent on how to address the matter with them.

                                        I'm of the opinion that they don't need to know about such stuff until an age where they can somewhat process what that means. By allowing a child to freely express themselves without pushing them in any particular direction, they can discover for themselves what that means and know how to articulate it by the time they reach that age.

                                        @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                                        youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY earthtoneone@mstdn.socialE 2 Replies Last reply
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                                        • saorsa@neondystopia.worldS saorsa@neondystopia.world
                                          That children should be left to be children until a time where it is appropriate to discuss. Gender expression doesn't cross the minds of my children and when prompted voluntarily, it should be up to the parent on how to address the matter with them.

                                          I'm of the opinion that they don't need to know about such stuff until an age where they can somewhat process what that means. By allowing a child to freely express themselves without pushing them in any particular direction, they can discover for themselves what that means and know how to articulate it by the time they reach that age.

                                          @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                                          youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                                          youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                                          youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #24

                                          @Saorsa
                                          I have bad news for you: Gender very much crosses your children's minds. Children are perfectly capable of processing what gender means. Puberty is usually too late to start worrying about gender because by then the damage has been done.

                                          Society is already telling all children that they're cis. This currently isn't up to the parents. However, if we were to leave it up to the parents, millions of children would be abused by parents who want to force cis-ness on their children.

                                          Statistically, no one is telling your kids or any other kids that they're trans. That's very much not true in the other direction. I don't want to tell your children or any children that they're trans. That's up to them to decide. I just want to give them information and options before puberty removes some if not all of those options. This is not currently being done, in part due to people saying that children should be free to make their own choices and not bothered with information they can't process.

                                          Age-gating this stuff is a giant red flag. If you don't intend to wave a giant red flag, you should reconsider your statements. If you do intend to wave a giant red flag, I guess I'm grateful you gave me the opportunity to refute your bigotry, but, a word to the wise, that gratitude will only go so far. You have a choice to make.

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