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  3. I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

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  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

    I hope John Roberts has an annoying blob of earwax in one ear and goes to the hall closet for a q-tip but the Costco-sized box they've had literally for years is completely empty and that ear is really bugging him so instead he halfway unbends a small paperclip and uses the smaller loop to dig out the dried wax and he tries to be careful but the paperclip was dirty or he scratches something and anyway he develops a really nasty ear infection that makes him dizzy and gives him headaches and tinnitus.

    aarondavid@c.imA This user is from outside of this forum
    aarondavid@c.imA This user is from outside of this forum
    aarondavid@c.im
    wrote last edited by
    #108

    @msbellows I hope someone breaks into his house and paints all the lightbulbs black, so when he switches the light on it gets darker and he bumps his shin, causing an unpleasant bruise

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

      I hope John Roberts has an annoying blob of earwax in one ear and goes to the hall closet for a q-tip but the Costco-sized box they've had literally for years is completely empty and that ear is really bugging him so instead he halfway unbends a small paperclip and uses the smaller loop to dig out the dried wax and he tries to be careful but the paperclip was dirty or he scratches something and anyway he develops a really nasty ear infection that makes him dizzy and gives him headaches and tinnitus.

      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.im
      wrote last edited by
      #109

      I hope today John Roberts tries to pick up a neighbor's cute, nice-seeming cat for a cuddle and it freaks out and scratches him badly right on the cheek.

      firefly@m.ai6yr.orgF msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

        I hope today John Roberts tries to pick up a neighbor's cute, nice-seeming cat for a cuddle and it freaks out and scratches him badly right on the cheek.

        firefly@m.ai6yr.orgF This user is from outside of this forum
        firefly@m.ai6yr.orgF This user is from outside of this forum
        firefly@m.ai6yr.org
        wrote last edited by
        #110

        @msbellows You make me chuckle every day.

        msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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        • firefly@m.ai6yr.orgF firefly@m.ai6yr.org

          @msbellows You make me chuckle every day.

          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
          msbellows@c.im
          wrote last edited by
          #111

          @firefly That makes me glad. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just cursing into the void like usual.

          firefly@m.ai6yr.orgF 1 Reply Last reply
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          • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

            @firefly That makes me glad. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just cursing into the void like usual.

            firefly@m.ai6yr.orgF This user is from outside of this forum
            firefly@m.ai6yr.orgF This user is from outside of this forum
            firefly@m.ai6yr.org
            wrote last edited by
            #112

            @msbellows Well, there’s value in that, TOO.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

              I hope today John Roberts tries to pick up a neighbor's cute, nice-seeming cat for a cuddle and it freaks out and scratches him badly right on the cheek.

              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
              msbellows@c.im
              wrote last edited by
              #113

              I hope John Roberts' shoelace breaks, and not at home where he could just change shoes. And that those shoes have fairly short laces anyway, and that it breaks right at the eyelet where the knot will get in the way.

              timothyroes@mastodon.socialT ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG nanowiz@vmst.ioN msbellows@c.imM 4 Replies Last reply
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              • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                I hope John Roberts' shoelace breaks, and not at home where he could just change shoes. And that those shoes have fairly short laces anyway, and that it breaks right at the eyelet where the knot will get in the way.

                timothyroes@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                timothyroes@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                timothyroes@mastodon.social
                wrote last edited by
                #114

                @msbellows oddly specific

                msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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                • timothyroes@mastodon.socialT timothyroes@mastodon.social

                  @msbellows oddly specific

                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                  msbellows@c.im
                  wrote last edited by
                  #115

                  @TimothyRoes Good curses require focus to be effective.

                  timothyroes@mastodon.socialT 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                    @TimothyRoes Good curses require focus to be effective.

                    timothyroes@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                    timothyroes@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                    timothyroes@mastodon.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #116

                    @msbellows This one's specific enough to travel down the blood line, ... like the one on the house of Atreus that led to Agamemnon's demise 😉

                    msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • timothyroes@mastodon.socialT timothyroes@mastodon.social

                      @msbellows This one's specific enough to travel down the blood line, ... like the one on the house of Atreus that led to Agamemnon's demise 😉

                      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                      msbellows@c.im
                      wrote last edited by
                      #117

                      @TimothyRoes So you're saying that 100 years from now Roberts' great great great grandchild's shoelace will break, slowing the delivery of a vital message and ultimately leading to the final demise of the American empire?

                      Cool, cool, I'm good with that.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                        I hope John Roberts' shoelace breaks, and not at home where he could just change shoes. And that those shoes have fairly short laces anyway, and that it breaks right at the eyelet where the knot will get in the way.

                        ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                        ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                        ghostonthehalfshell@masto.ai
                        wrote last edited by
                        #118

                        @msbellows

                        Yes, I’m beginning to feel the catharsis

                        msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG ghostonthehalfshell@masto.ai

                          @msbellows

                          Yes, I’m beginning to feel the catharsis

                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                          msbellows@c.im
                          wrote last edited by
                          #119

                          @GhostOnTheHalfShell Excellent. That is my purpose. Steady, small, drip by drip.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                            I hope John Roberts' shoelace breaks, and not at home where he could just change shoes. And that those shoes have fairly short laces anyway, and that it breaks right at the eyelet where the knot will get in the way.

                            nanowiz@vmst.ioN This user is from outside of this forum
                            nanowiz@vmst.ioN This user is from outside of this forum
                            nanowiz@vmst.io
                            wrote last edited by
                            #120

                            @msbellows

                            If it's the John Roberts that I'm thinking of, I hope more than his shoelace breaks.

                            msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • nanowiz@vmst.ioN nanowiz@vmst.io

                              @msbellows

                              If it's the John Roberts that I'm thinking of, I hope more than his shoelace breaks.

                              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                              msbellows@c.im
                              wrote last edited by
                              #121

                              @nanowiz ((It's the John Roberts you're thinking of. And don't worry about it not being enough; there's a whole thread of curses!))

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                msbellows@c.im
                                wrote last edited by
                                #122

                                @nanowiz _/\_

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                  I hope John Roberts' shoelace breaks, and not at home where he could just change shoes. And that those shoes have fairly short laces anyway, and that it breaks right at the eyelet where the knot will get in the way.

                                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  msbellows@c.im
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #123

                                  I hope John Roberts orders Chinese for lunch and it comes with those chopsticks that are rectangular in cross-section instead of round and when he separates them it splinters just a little and he gets a tiny splinter in the ball of his index finger and it's one of those splinters that's set so deeply there's only a tiny little nub sticking out that's not enough to grab with tweezers but every time he picks up a pen or taps a keyboard it jiggles it and hurts annoyingly.

                                  david@fouroclockfarms.clubD jasonbeets@newsie.socialJ sarae@ecoevo.socialS msbellows@c.imM 4 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                    I hope John Roberts orders Chinese for lunch and it comes with those chopsticks that are rectangular in cross-section instead of round and when he separates them it splinters just a little and he gets a tiny splinter in the ball of his index finger and it's one of those splinters that's set so deeply there's only a tiny little nub sticking out that's not enough to grab with tweezers but every time he picks up a pen or taps a keyboard it jiggles it and hurts annoyingly.

                                    david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    david@fouroclockfarms.club
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #124

                                    @msbellows I hope that the Chinese food gives him atomic, painful, explosive diarrhea.

                                    msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • david@fouroclockfarms.clubD david@fouroclockfarms.club

                                      @msbellows I hope that the Chinese food gives him atomic, painful, explosive diarrhea.

                                      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      msbellows@c.im
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #125

                                      @david So so I, but that would impugn a proof and delicious ethnic cuisine, and also I already used that wish in the very first curse in this long thread. 🙂

                                      david@fouroclockfarms.clubD 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                        @david So so I, but that would impugn a proof and delicious ethnic cuisine, and also I already used that wish in the very first curse in this long thread. 🙂

                                        david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        david@fouroclockfarms.club
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #126

                                        @msbellows Jiminy! How did I miss all of these??

                                        msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • david@fouroclockfarms.clubD david@fouroclockfarms.club

                                          @msbellows Jiminy! How did I miss all of these??

                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.im
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #127

                                          @david Easy answer: you're a slacker! (Said by a fellow slacker, so don't worry, I'm not judging you.)

                                          david@fouroclockfarms.clubD 1 Reply Last reply
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