@taedrynOn the one paw, having labels to put on being aro-ace¹ has been helpful to feel less alone and broken. That didn't change much else as people never seemed too interested in me (or was it the depression making me ignore it?²). If anything, more flirting has been hapening in the last ~6 months than in all my life prior to that (although I'm bad at recognizing flirting so maybe there was more I didn't see as such?)On the other… I want sex but not with just anyone. There is currently one person I want to have sex with³, and there wasn't anybody for over 10 years before her. So, yeah, not getting what I want and it's frustrating x_x (feeling touch starved makes depression worse as well 🫠)There are times I wish I weren't like that… I don't care if that means no longer wanting sex when I can't have any or if that means being fine with whoever, but one or other, please! >_<Also, possibly unrelated but, so far, I haven't enjoyed sex Yes, I still want it (partly because I want to please my allo GF⁴, partly because my body asks for it, possibly also because of allonormativity), but it wasn't enjoyable for me with my ex and I don't know it would be any different with someone else (I'm hopeful, though).Also also, I don't enjoy masturbation either. That's only required maintenance that doesn't give any pleasure⁵… there too, I wish I were different, either enjoying it or not feeling the need for it…Maybe bottom surgery would help but I don't always want the same configuration… I need a customization menu to change at will!1: more like demi- for each (or something close, I'm not totally sure)2: entirely possible as my ex took 3 days to convince me she was serious about wanting to date me after months of each being interested in the other.3: in the freaking US, because I can't ever choose the easy path -_-4: was my ex really allo? Was "she" even really my GF? 🤭 (I won't be surprised in the least if I get a trans CO message some day :') (we still text a couple times a year))5: could even be painful some times… don't think it has happened much after starting HRT, though
T
