@cstross A now 23 year old story from a friend of mine.
She worked Sector ATC for the sector of Minnesota, the Dakotas, Wisconsin, etc. Apparently, when Mr. Undisclosed Location (whom you've lovingly satirized) went pheasant hunting in either Dakota they put up a large NOTAM. One evening, a tiny civilian plane using VFR puttered into the zone. As they're VFR they don't need a radio, so they couldn't be warned off.
So the military advisor in the Sector said "mine," and scrambled a pair of F16s to do fly-bys. The fighter-jocks would whoosh by just over the cesna-or-something and drop altitude right as they pass, which yanked the maybe-cesna down 10-15 feet.
Repeat.
Plane turned around.