CIRCLE WITH A DOT

@amalia12 billig nicht, aber als ich da noch wohnte ging ich zu den Salon "Groneberg Schwestern". Die haben mir kurzhaarfrisuren geschnitten wie ich es wollte.
Hatte damals kein passing und afab (habe heute auch kein 100%iges passing, aber damals noch weniger)

@Zahlenzauberin @quidcumque for me it definitely depends on queerness / how conventional people are or rather how they are not.
When I am in a group of men who solely do smalltalk about cars and tools and beer, I am not able to talk.
If the group is more artsy /queer, thats when I can do better talks.
But even then.
I think that I havent quite learned yet how to effectively communicate with the majority of men yet regardles of their orientation / queerness.

@june_thalia_michael that also sounds gutting. I feel sorry you went through that betrayal.

@june_thalia_michael uhm... when I reached age 11 i was not allowed to have any "boy friendships" anymore and i think the majority of the alienation started with 12 years so...
Well.
I was good at befriending cis boys before I hit puberty (which was also before I hit age 11) and after that I was denied by my parents.

@Zahlenzauberin i mean it could still have a dash of misogyny mixed in (i think I was unknowingly also misogynistic) but it definitely was not the root for me but more a side effect of not having been teached how to not be misogynistic (and the early 2000s were also still pretty misogynistic in general at least in my area)
My main problem really was the alienation and that no matter how hard i tried to "fit in" i was never accepted anyways so I reached a point where i thought why even bother.

@june_thalia_michael exactly... i never really knew what was going on and I was always out of the loop with everything. It felt like people were talking an entirely different language in some years. Or it was so subtle that I didnt even notice that i missed out on information?? I was just left behind.

@faithisleaping i think its a really important thing to share because I used to think "I'm not like other girls" and here comes my autistic side as well that I didn't even understand that other girls who used to say that were saying it from a place of "horny"
While I was simply also bullied and cast out from other girls, so honestly no wonder I genuinely just believed in the "I'm not like other girls" (and in the end it made sense because in the end I turned out to be not a girl at all, but back then I simply lacked the necessary insight to even pick up that the "im not like other girls" thing from others was just a mating tactic and not coming from a place of alienation).

Okay here me out.

There is a distinction and a huge difference between a pick me girl who says she is not like other girls to appease boys.

And

A transmasc person who hasn't realised yet that they are trans and still think "i'm not like other girls" but in an honest raw way that has actually nothing to do with trying to get hook ups with boys but rather comes from a place of honestly felt alienation with the wrongly assumed gender.
The origins are complete different galaxies.