@snosrapkungfu I'm currently slowly reading "Slow Gods" by Claire North. While I don't think it matches exactly what you have in mind, it does explore personal identity and cultural concepts of gender.
I think the MC might be intended to be interpreted as non-binary; the author uses a non gendered first person style, and I didn't realize till the 2nd or 3rd chapter that they were considered a man in the world.
I'm enjoying what I've read so far, and would recommend it.