CIRCLE WITH A DOT

"You're over prepared."

"What!!?"

"How many lights do you have stowed in various places in the car?"

"Five."

"And how many knives do you have in the same car?"

"No comment."

I know dystopia was never just fictional, but leave me some of my delusions, please.

Make Dystopia fictional again!

I was told recently that my actions had 'signaled' something.

You've met me, right? You know I don't signal. I state outright and rarely leave my opinions in doubt.

I've never been accused of subtlety.

@securingdev Lots of trauma.

@darthnull It was an interpersonal decision that won't really help you. Unless researching the relationship between covert narcissists and the neurospicy would help you.

Three weeks ago I made a decision that finally broke the depression I've been struggling with for the last five years.

Every day this week I've gotten more done by noon than I used to struggle to get done in a full week.

I'm sure there will be bad days in the future, but the primary cause has been excised from my life.

Does meeting people once a week to battle evil in imaginary worlds make them friends in the 'real' world?

DM: You put on a cursed mask and now you're a self-centered asshole who thinks he's a natural leader and should be followed without question!

Player: Ummm, okay. I'm not sure how to do that.

Me: Pretend your my character (the bard/paladin) for the rest of the night.

Player: Ooooh, I get it now!

I seriously think differentiating between paranoid ideation and real threats is the single biggest drain on my mental processing capabilities. I've gotten pretty good at it over the years, but it's still an unoptimized background process.

@darwinwoodka There is nothing worth having an estate sale for. I will be having a conversation with the local Mason's lodge about the dress sabers my father had collected.

My father died of cancer October 7, 2025, five months ago tomorrow. I've been living in his home since, clearing decades of accumulated shi...stuff. I'm the 'responsible one' of my siblings, if you can believe it.

For reasons yet to be explained, this is the longest I've been alone on a daily basis in my life. It's led to deep introspection and much needed healing. I feel better than I have in a long time, I'm seeing a therapist, and I have a plan.

I've received a lot of help from friends during a difficult time. Those here know who they are, and most of my local friends would never be on social media other than FB.

I don't struggle with impulsivity.

I embrace it like a warm, fuzzy blanket.

If someone tells you,

"I can't think of a single reason you should want to be with me."

Believe them.