@literalgrill surgery is surgery. And surgery sucks and sometimes goes bad and I'm sorry that happened to you, whatever caused it, and the lack of support that followed. A dogma of sunshine and rainbows and silencing imperfect experiences is still playing exactly into the bigots' double standards. Maybe a weird comparison, but it's like if parents who had given birth talked candidly about their sometimes life-altering birth injuries or how dangerous or difficult their pregnancies were, and other parents replied "oh so you're saying that you don't love your kids."
L
