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I had to get off a bus once for the same reason.
Apparently, a big part of the problem is that softeners use plastic micro-capsules filled with synthetic fragrance, which are attached to the fabric with a waxy substance. The capsules are designed to break with friction. New capsules break every time the person moves, causing more fragrance to be released continually. As a result, the smell doesn't simply dissipate with time as it would if it were a normal fragranced substance.
Yeah, I've experienced this on occasion when walking past a house. Nasty.
The fragrance is engineered to be much more concentrated than anything found in nature, as I understand it. Which is why some people (like me) can tolerate at least some natural fragrances, including essential oils, but not the "engineered" version of the same thing. Natural lavender is generally okay; synthetic lavender makes me unwell.
Update, in case it's of use to anyone else. The nasty chemicals appear to have been largely removed now, with this procedure:
- soak the garment for an hour in undiluted white vinegar
- run through a normal wash with unscented detergent (no fabric softener, even if unscented)
- run through an additional rinse cycle without detergent
- dry over a hot radiator
I have also seen it recommended to soak 1hr in water + bicarbonate of soda before the final rinse, for very stubborn residues.
Just received an eBay purchase - a dress - which seems to have been bathed in fabric softener. Instant migraine, plus facial swelling.
So, a PSA: scented fabric softener can be dangerous for people with conditions like migraine, asthma, excema, etc. If the fragrance is strong, it may affect other people if you spend extended periods with them - your colleagues and family, for example. The fragrance isn't a sign your clothes are clean; it's a sign they're now covered in allergens!
