CIRCLE WITH A DOT

these two gym days, coupled with a daily plan and a coworker who is also doing her own fitness journey - i think this is going to be great. i have not really had anyone to be accountable to before. not for actual working out. there is another coworker who has tried to push me to it because i said i wanted to do it, but that wasn't the kind of push i needed. not sure exactly what is different, but something is and this is working for my first week this far. the plan i have set is meant to be 3 months of progressive overload with the only changes other than that are to be every other week the hiit plan alternates timing back and forth between two sets of times. again i will do the rowing machine for hiit because i actually like the rowing machine.

i am in high-motivation to exercise mode - it's probably because I'm someone who loves fitness, exercise and making healthy choices. i have made a few good choices today - i did still have a handful of choc chips becuase i was craving them - i am pleased with the energy motivation and that my algorithm is feeding me these positive stories to try to keep my brain on the right thinking path.

feeling strangely chilly today. i think i will have a hot soak after work. it's so bright and sunny my mind says - don't do it, enjoy the sunshine. but my mind also says - have an epsom bath to help your muscles that you haven't used in forever recover and more importantly, warm up. so i think warm up will win. i just want to feel cozy... even in the sunshine which makes me also want to do things - cozy will always win. plus the idea of epsom salts to help prevent doms... that sounds good to me. i am meant to go to the gym sunday and that day is the hardest, but that day is also likely to be dons day after today's workout... today was challenging but good. i expect to feel something as a result.

so pb muffin bites for breakfast, thai inspired noodle salad for lunches, i think i will do the cheese and turkey rolls for snacks again since i still have turkey and enjoy those. then it's just dinners to decipher. i feel like lunch will be colourful and full of nutrients but low on protein so i will want to try to make that up at dinner. .. what do i want for dinner...?

so i am going to change into my gym clothes now. today i need to make sure my clothing won't get in my way, so it needs to be gym clothes unlike on arm day where it can clearly be pretty much anything as i proved to myself on tuesday when i had no intention of doing a workout and just wanted to look at how the new machine worked. so i will swap my at home clothes for the workout gear now and then that will make the excuses even less of an obstacle i can use to live in my sloth-mode.

i did not go to the gym this morning as i had planned, but i am not going to allow myself not to go today. i am going. no excuses. i don't care if there are people there and i have to wait all day... today is a gym day, i will gym. because i am someone who loves fitness, exercise and making healthy choices.

they are paying me to show up today, so i will show up. for no purpose other than to warm a seat, but for today i will accept that as a good enough reason. i will pop in my headphones and dance in my seat. i am brining a book to flip through for ideas in case today gets slow or it's too rainy for a walk. no one else is going to be there in my area so it will be me and myself hanging out. i will do my work and a lot of hurry up and wait.

i will have zero opinions on monday when we have our first rushed meeting. i will not say anything helpful or thoughtful. i will smile and nod. then i will just go execute what they asked for and let it fail in front of me. they are bringing in an additional outside source this time - i will let that person fight whatever battles they want and maybe with luck they will get their points through. but i am not going to worry about it. that's someone else's circus, i'm just their paid clown, i'm not in charge of the monkey's

there was a meeting yesterday i didn't attend, and a coworker said, it was so good they did it like this... you should make ours like that. i have been a part of precisely one of these on our team. all the points that my coworker raised were things i had said and suggested the first time. i replied that was what i tried to do last time, this time it will be what it is, i am not going to stress myself over trying when people say they want to change but are not actually willing to do it. it's going to be boring, it's going to suck, it's going to be too long... and i don't care. i tried and was ignored, so i am not going to waste my breath this time. i am in my do what you pay me for era. and clearly you don't pay me for my opinions or trying to better things, so i will save my sanity and feed you the slop you ask for.

i think i will make myself a hot bowl of soup now to warm up and to celebrate two days in a row of on-plan exercise. i'm freakin' amazing.

quite pleased that i did two days worth of "gymming" plan and i was wanting too but not fully yet committed... so that was a nice surprise. i had wanted to, but didn't know that i was actually going to follow through for myself, but as someone who loves fitness, exercise and making healthy choices, obviously i did follow through. i forget already what tomorrow is, but i think it's a rest day. i decided for rest days i want to still try to get in my 10k steps as much as i can and do something light on the bouncer since i don't think rest days are meant for total slothing... although that is my idea of a perfect day any day. a good slothing is always on my mind.

oops... i put the spf on immediately after the vit c. i didn't let vit c soak in first. let's see if this causes pilling or anything. this combo has caused some pilling near my hairline when i add the concealer near my eyes... i just have no technique so i assume it's user error.

thought of an outfit i don't automatically reach for or think about after checking my list... it's not an automatic go-to for me and i forget it's on the list. it's not my favourite so that's likely why. but it's one that i could wear today... i just need to find the right tights. most are not in the greatest condition for a shorter skirt. they are perfectly fine for a long one that hides them, but for a shorter one i need good condition tights and i don't know which those are until i put them on and sit. standing they all look fine.

no commentary on today's weather... usually the app tells me a few thoughts but today all commentary is on future dates

what kind of day am i feeling today for clothing? i will need to do some "physical labour" more so than a typical workday so i should pick something easy to move in and not too precious. i have an idea in my head, i will just need to do a weather check.

slow starting this morning. a lot of thoughts in my head. the schnaff slept on hi new spot aka his side of the bed again. i do really like that. i will though have to first steal a bit more of the covers, he will still have enough to sleep on, but once he is there i can't steal more so a preemptive steal will make up both comfy and happy.

no doms from yesterday so that is good although i don't always feel them until two days after. also since it was just upper body i don't feel them as much as when i will hit the full body and lower body days - those have always been more difficult and effortful. i am quite surprised i managed the same weights as last gymming... it's not where i once was exactly, but it was not terribly behind either. for two exercises i did the first set with a lighter weight because i wasn't sure where i was and didn't have my notebook to compare in the moment. i wasn't about to go and get it, that would have for sure resulted in me not doing anything.

yesterday my mind lived in peace at work. i found nothing stressful and everything just seemed to happen around me rather than "to me" is the easiest way to explain it at this moment... let's do that again. i loved that detachment. yesterday i also gymmed... i didn't even plan to do it, i just did it. that was a huge mental revelation. that was a huge mental shift that i needed. and today i still feel mentally great that i finally and actually did it. that is amazing to my brain... it really was a change - it blew my excuses out of the water. it won't "fix" the things that might still get in my way going forward, but it did change how i might approach things.

something wonderful is going to happen today.

@Rickd6 i like that. i wonder if i'm willing to settle for accepting that difference... i guess i'll have to figure that out first