@artemis I think this is a really good track to go down. Like you said, not to turn them into allies, but just to undermine the enemy.
Like how they don't want to be made fun of, I didn't think they want to be pittied either.
"Look at these sad sack lonely guys, who after everything don't even get their signing bonuses. You know they're not going to get any help when it turns out the shit they're spraying around causes cancer, either. They're not scary, really, just kinda sad and gross."