@alice I came out later in life (trans femme) and was SA'd within the 1st 3 months at a very "inclusive" venue. I was severely traumatised and mostly stayed indoors for the next 2 months. I anonymously reported to the police just so the venue would be notified as I didn't want my name smeared all over police documents (because ACAB). The 1st time, I was ~12yo.
So OK, there's that right? And I've read thru all the comments. I feel like SA is very desensitised which really bothers me.
The deliberate yet possibly innocent deviation from your original toot (and the reason for writing it) from the "actually" people is quite disturbing. The selfish comments like:
"well, I haven't...." (the worst one, IMO)
"actually there are other factors..."
"not all (group)...."
"what about....."
They are usually followed by a variation of "me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me...."
It's beyond distracting and simply hijacks the original comment. It forces the narrator (you) to explain nuances not having to do with the core of the discussion and dilutes the substance of the details. Literally halfway thru reading the comments, I forgot what the original discussion was about, like WTF?!?!
And this is why I don't even bother discussing my experiences with SA, bullying and harassment. No one just stops to say, "wow, that's horrible, I'm so sorry", etc. Instead, it's, "wow, I thought that venue was good" or "my SA experience was way worse" or "actually, you're not the only one so relax" etc, etc, ad nauseum. Anything to distract and make it about them.
So, for those that have read this comment, do you remember what I wrote in the 1st paragraph?
Be honest.
Or did you start to pick apart my piece so you could make a cool statistic, prove me wrong or make it about you?
Again, be honest. To yourself.
I think this is "a" main point of the original discussion. Not "the" main point.
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