"but what about xmpp?"
We did that for about 3 years before moving to Matrix. At the time, OMEMO support was quite rough, especially on iOS. And XEP support was hit/miss for various clients that people would install.
Every time I ask folks to switch to some new chat tech, I burn some serious "capital" with the family. So like, I gotta be 200% confident the new thing we switch to is better at meeting our requirements 