I could use some thoughts, suggestions, and advice!

[lorepozo@tech.lgbt]

I could use some thoughts, suggestions, and advice! I'm nonbinary and an expecting parent. I don't know what term I want to use for my child to refer to me. What do you do? Or what are some good options?

Thank you for your help!

#nonbinary #parenting #gender #lgbtqia #children

[bard@transfem.social]

@lorepozo@tech.lgbt I have a non-binary parent acquaintance who goes by "zaza".

[m_gatta@ecoevo.social]

@lorepozo I'm not non-binary myself, but I've heard the term "mapa" being used.

[asbestos_chan@labyrinth.zone]

@Bard @lorepozo
& i would put zem in my mouth & smoke zem

[jetlagjen@gts.phillipsuk.org]

@lorepozo we have yet to find a decent word for our kids' other parent.

It's straightforward for me to be Mum, but every option for them feels either gendered, or silly, or contrived, or forced. They've ended up being Dad for lack of better options.

It's what people tend to assume from their generally masc presentation, so at least it's easy.

[lalah@sakurajima.moe]

@lorepozo baba is cute and easy to pronounce (although it does mean papa in some cultures). I would go with something simple that even a toddler could say.

[redthewizard@wandering.shop]

@lorepozo I know a couple who are in a similar situation, they just use their names so far.

[sometimeslovely@mas.to]

@lorepozo
Would a version of your chosen name not suffice?

[getmisch@masto.nyc]

@lorepozo "Buloo" "Garah" "Sintee" "Ryewaw" "Neymay" "Teetaw"
...just make up something sweet for yourself.
And congratulations.

[kneuli@social.tchncs.de]

@lorepozo As a parent of 2 I have learned: Whatever you want your children to call you - they will use whatever they feel fit in different ages and situations.
So maybe the more interesting question might be: What term I don't want my child to refer to me (and why)?
As soon as your child gets old enough to understand your concerns it will most likely respect your feelings.
Until then it might be easier to use the existing terms according to their context e.g.:
the person = your name or nickname
gender = nonbinary
legally = parent
biologically = mother (if this sounds reasonable for you)
...
In the end I think it's hard to have expectations to a child as long as society is still struggling with diversity.