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CIRCLE WITH A DOT

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  3. Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing.

Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing.

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  • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

    Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

    This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

    phoenixserenity@beige.partyP This user is from outside of this forum
    phoenixserenity@beige.partyP This user is from outside of this forum
    phoenixserenity@beige.party
    wrote last edited by
    #11

    @sundogplanets Yeah, they're not worth your valuable energy. The block button is online self care 💗

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

      Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

      This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

      jguillaumes@mastodont.catJ This user is from outside of this forum
      jguillaumes@mastodont.catJ This user is from outside of this forum
      jguillaumes@mastodont.cat
      wrote last edited by
      #12

      @sundogplanets @cstross please don’t take this as sealioning (it _could_ be something a sealion would ask, but believe me, this is not my intention)

      Where is the limit of ‘honest asking’ or ‘honest trying to explain’ to ‘sealioning’ or ‘mainaplaining’!

      cstross@wandering.shopC hadon@mastodon.socialH 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

        Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

        This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

        meganl@mas.toM This user is from outside of this forum
        meganl@mas.toM This user is from outside of this forum
        meganl@mas.to
        wrote last edited by
        #13

        @sundogplanets May your blocking hand be strong. 👊

        #9ReplyGuys

        Scott Barolo (@sbarolo@zirk.us)

        Attached: 1 image · Content warning: CW: Sexual harassment in STEM

        favicon

        zirkus (zirk.us)

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

          Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

          This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

          fishidwardrobe@mastodon.me.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
          fishidwardrobe@mastodon.me.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
          fishidwardrobe@mastodon.me.uk
          wrote last edited by
          #14

          @sundogplanets personally i find that even the nicest people find it hard to admit they were in the wrong and apologise; we all have so much emotional capital invested in being right these days.

          so, yes: block early, block often.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

            Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

            This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

            andrewgambrill@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
            andrewgambrill@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
            andrewgambrill@mastodon.social
            wrote last edited by
            #15

            @sundogplanets What is a sea lion (in this context) 🙂

            sam@chven.usS 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

              Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

              This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

              capnthommo@c.imC This user is from outside of this forum
              capnthommo@c.imC This user is from outside of this forum
              capnthommo@c.im
              wrote last edited by
              #16

              @sundogplanets sea lions?

              paul@social.lightlyseared.onlineP hadon@mastodon.socialH 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • jguillaumes@mastodont.catJ jguillaumes@mastodont.cat

                @sundogplanets @cstross please don’t take this as sealioning (it _could_ be something a sealion would ask, but believe me, this is not my intention)

                Where is the limit of ‘honest asking’ or ‘honest trying to explain’ to ‘sealioning’ or ‘mainaplaining’!

                cstross@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                cstross@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                cstross@wandering.shop
                wrote last edited by
                #17

                @jguillaumes @sundogplanets The key point is that sealioning is never done in good faith. It's a time-wasting gambit, not genuine dialog.

                jguillaumes@mastodont.catJ 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • cstross@wandering.shopC cstross@wandering.shop

                  @jguillaumes @sundogplanets The key point is that sealioning is never done in good faith. It's a time-wasting gambit, not genuine dialog.

                  jguillaumes@mastodont.catJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jguillaumes@mastodont.catJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jguillaumes@mastodont.cat
                  wrote last edited by
                  #18

                  @cstross @sundogplanets yeah, that’s the definition and found a few of them when I trolled flat earthers as a hobby. The thing is written media, specially ‘short’ written media does not give a lot of hints about intention.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • knud@mastodon.socialK knud@mastodon.social

                    @sundogplanets

                    Yeah, sometimes I'm sad that I can't send an ultimate reply, then block, except for them being able to read just that reply.

                    fathermcgruder@jorts.horseF This user is from outside of this forum
                    fathermcgruder@jorts.horseF This user is from outside of this forum
                    fathermcgruder@jorts.horse
                    wrote last edited by
                    #19

                    @knud Mute button underrated.
                    @sundogplanets

                    knud@mastodon.socialK 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • andrewgambrill@mastodon.socialA andrewgambrill@mastodon.social

                      @sundogplanets What is a sea lion (in this context) 🙂

                      sam@chven.usS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sam@chven.usS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sam@chven.us
                      wrote last edited by
                      #20
                      just looked it up and found this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning
                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                        Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                        This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                        abraxas3d@defcon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                        abraxas3d@defcon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                        abraxas3d@defcon.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #21

                        @sundogplanets strongly concur. There was this amateur radio dude over at ARISS that barfed up the most amazing sea lion tweets at me, back when Twitter was pretty good. I (very gently) pushed back, explained why the "I'm JuSt AsKiNg QuEsTiOnS yOu ExIsT tO eDuCaTe Me BuT i aLrEaDy MaDe My MiNd Up YoU uNpRoFeSsIoNaL BITCH!!!!" approach was ineffective at best and a deliberate way to power-play/toy with me and waste my time at worst, and he just completely blew up from there. It was ridiculous. It doesn't matter how good a job you do at communicating. That's not why they are there.

                        So, after that, nope. No engagement. If you don't see me as a person (women aren't people to these people) then we just cannot speak again. Blocks are one way to ensure that.

                        Sure, you can make an effort to reach out and make things right, but sea lions never do. Sexist small-pants piggy-faces will go down with that ship, fronting forever that they are the "good guys", just out here "trying to learn". Because this tactic works. Why? Because women are supposed to be "help meets".

                        You know, Helpers. Helping! You're not HELPING if you don't act like a knowledge vending machine and the man has infinite credit. You aren't making it EASY. You're not making me a mental SANDWICH. And you get called names and they dunk on your work and make you pay and fulminate and fester.

                        So, yeah. Block away.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                          Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                          This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                          jik@federate.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          jik@federate.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          jik@federate.social
                          wrote last edited by
                          #22

                          @sundogplanets I try really hard to call out bad behavior in _other_ people's threads because it lands really differently when it comes from someone other than the target, and I think it's important to be an upstander.

                          sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                            Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                            This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                            moelassus@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                            moelassus@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                            moelassus@mastodon.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #23

                            @sundogplanets I appreciate that you make the effort. I was recently blocked by someone I enjoy reading because of a poor attempt at snark that landed poorly. They immediately blocked me with a curt response. I wish I had been given the chance to clarify myself. Many folks are definitely NOT in the mood these days so I’ve holstered my snark.

                            jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • capnthommo@c.imC capnthommo@c.im

                              @sundogplanets sea lions?

                              paul@social.lightlyseared.onlineP This user is from outside of this forum
                              paul@social.lightlyseared.onlineP This user is from outside of this forum
                              paul@social.lightlyseared.online
                              wrote last edited by
                              #24

                              @capnthommo It's a form of trolling that involves endless bad-faith questions.

                              Wikipedia has fuller explanation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning

                              @sundogplanets

                              capnthommo@c.imC 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                                This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                                bur_d@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bur_d@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bur_d@mastodon.social
                                wrote last edited by
                                #25

                                @sundogplanets I don't understand this post, what are these mapliners and sealions doing and what are they?

                                jhaas@a2mi.socialJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                  Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                                  This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                                  angiebaby@mas.toA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  angiebaby@mas.toA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  angiebaby@mas.to
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #26

                                  @sundogplanets

                                  Just send them a JPEG of a sealion with its mouth open and a fedora photoshopped on its head and mute them. They're hopeless.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • moelassus@mastodon.socialM moelassus@mastodon.social

                                    @sundogplanets I appreciate that you make the effort. I was recently blocked by someone I enjoy reading because of a poor attempt at snark that landed poorly. They immediately blocked me with a curt response. I wish I had been given the chance to clarify myself. Many folks are definitely NOT in the mood these days so I’ve holstered my snark.

                                    jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    jrp@hub.kliklak.net
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #27
                                    @Moe Lassus sorry to sneak in here 🙂 but i believe that pure text chat works even worse in terms of irony, than talking ironically to strangers in rea life. No pun intended 🙂
                                    moelassus@mastodon.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                      Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                                      This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                                      jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      jrp@hub.kliklak.net
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #28
                                      @Prof. Sam Lawler it's a pity, really.
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ jrp@hub.kliklak.net
                                        @Moe Lassus sorry to sneak in here 🙂 but i believe that pure text chat works even worse in terms of irony, than talking ironically to strangers in rea life. No pun intended 🙂
                                        moelassus@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        moelassus@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        moelassus@mastodon.social
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #29

                                        @jrp I suspect your right. It’s also possible that I’m just really bad at snark. 🤔

                                        jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                          Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                                          This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                                          greenmtnbear@4bear.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          greenmtnbear@4bear.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          greenmtnbear@4bear.com
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #30

                                          @sundogplanets
                                          I would try to explain what I'd said, just to get an argument back. I now just block. Life is too short for such "agita".

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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