While I don't have a bucket list there's a bunch of stuff that comes to mind when asked about it.
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Basically my favorite safety-show-contestants as while they tend to be personality-challenged, they usually do know their stuff.
And when addressed well also tend to be willing to engage on that.For these groups I have long established a rule that gives me moral permission to just make a nice day out of it, not try beyond their level of caring, be rude to them as they are to me, make it somewhat useful, and talk at length about unrelated topics like cats, and wanting to drive their trains.
3
The guy who hired me, Head of Maintenance (HOM), was also there.
While supposedly socially capable enough to be in charge of a couple of dozen shouty people he started the day asking if “the lunch will be any good”.
Seriously? Stock answer:
"I don't know, I hope you weren't too cheap to order something good? [other department] ordered hamburgers. So I personally hope that's in the options here as well!"
4
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The guy who hired me, Head of Maintenance (HOM), was also there.
While supposedly socially capable enough to be in charge of a couple of dozen shouty people he started the day asking if “the lunch will be any good”.
Seriously? Stock answer:
"I don't know, I hope you weren't too cheap to order something good? [other department] ordered hamburgers. So I personally hope that's in the options here as well!"
4
So that nicely set the mood. It also made the start a bit messy as a dozen technicians started arguing for hamburgers and saying stuff like “if it’s those dry white buns with cheese I’ll just go home”.
We did end up with good hamburgers. And soup.
Aanyway. Having a kickoff and acing community-style-bonding I went on with the core part of the training. I won’t share that with you as, frankly, the previous paragraphs probably also didn’t add much context to the story of me driving a train.
5
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So that nicely set the mood. It also made the start a bit messy as a dozen technicians started arguing for hamburgers and saying stuff like “if it’s those dry white buns with cheese I’ll just go home”.
We did end up with good hamburgers. And soup.
Aanyway. Having a kickoff and acing community-style-bonding I went on with the core part of the training. I won’t share that with you as, frankly, the previous paragraphs probably also didn’t add much context to the story of me driving a train.
5
Fast forward about seven hours in the future. The training has concluded and the collective informal evaluation was something like “it wasn’t that bad, we laughed, and the lunch was good.”
So in corporate terms: a NPS of 10. I’m happy, they’re happy. Hurrah.
Hurrah for the read of this as well, as we’re at the train bit. Capital!
6
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Fast forward about seven hours in the future. The training has concluded and the collective informal evaluation was something like “it wasn’t that bad, we laughed, and the lunch was good.”
So in corporate terms: a NPS of 10. I’m happy, they’re happy. Hurrah.
Hurrah for the read of this as well, as we’re at the train bit. Capital!
6
Anyway. It turned out me casually mentioning driving a locomotive every couple minutes had subconsciously planted a seed. A rather strong one.
So as the HOM and I left the room he simply stated “ok, now you get to drive a damn locomotive. Best enjoy it as we’re not supposed to do this.”
Hurrah!
7
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Anyway. It turned out me casually mentioning driving a locomotive every couple minutes had subconsciously planted a seed. A rather strong one.
So as the HOM and I left the room he simply stated “ok, now you get to drive a damn locomotive. Best enjoy it as we’re not supposed to do this.”
Hurrah!
7
By now it’s probably good to note this is one of these sites with a lot of rules and visible safety.
If you’re not familiar with industrial sites it all looks very impressive. If you ARE familiar with industrial sites you’re aware rules and visible safety are not what counts, the actual safety culture does.
This site actually has a quite decent safety culture. An odd peculiarity is that it covers the safety of individuals yet way less so when it comes to equipment or “fuzzy large hazards”.
8
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By now it’s probably good to note this is one of these sites with a lot of rules and visible safety.
If you’re not familiar with industrial sites it all looks very impressive. If you ARE familiar with industrial sites you’re aware rules and visible safety are not what counts, the actual safety culture does.
This site actually has a quite decent safety culture. An odd peculiarity is that it covers the safety of individuals yet way less so when it comes to equipment or “fuzzy large hazards”.
8
Moving on. Know I AM trying to keep this story on track. It’s just that I’m writing this while enjoying the recollection. And editing things out is only for v2.
So. We’re at the locomotive. It’s a big diesel shunter that just had some maintenance done. A number of the maintenance technicians are qualified to operate it for testing purposes only (no idea what that is limited to).
HOM is… not qualified but used to be, on the old type, 15 years before.
9
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Moving on. Know I AM trying to keep this story on track. It’s just that I’m writing this while enjoying the recollection. And editing things out is only for v2.
So. We’re at the locomotive. It’s a big diesel shunter that just had some maintenance done. A number of the maintenance technicians are qualified to operate it for testing purposes only (no idea what that is limited to).
HOM is… not qualified but used to be, on the old type, 15 years before.
9
The idea is to drive it out of the maintenance building, move over a switch and do a one km run along an internal shunting track. With me at the.. helm / trainbutton or whatever it’s called.
Both HOM & I receive instruction from a technician who makes it very clear we’re not to fuck-up & drive under his responsibility. He then steps out and says he has stuff to do.
HOM appears un-bothered, tells me no photos, and takes us out.
As we pass the switch he hands control to me and off I go!
10
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The idea is to drive it out of the maintenance building, move over a switch and do a one km run along an internal shunting track. With me at the.. helm / trainbutton or whatever it’s called.
Both HOM & I receive instruction from a technician who makes it very clear we’re not to fuck-up & drive under his responsibility. He then steps out and says he has stuff to do.
HOM appears un-bothered, tells me no photos, and takes us out.
As we pass the switch he hands control to me and off I go!
10
IT WAS AMAZING. I WAS DRIVING A FRICKING 75 TONNES (OR SO) DIESEL LOCOMOTIVE! WE WERE RACING DOWN THE TRACK AT MAX SPEED! (15KM/HR)
11
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IT WAS AMAZING. I WAS DRIVING A FRICKING 75 TONNES (OR SO) DIESEL LOCOMOTIVE! WE WERE RACING DOWN THE TRACK AT MAX SPEED! (15KM/HR)
11
So. If you’re wondering. 15 km/hr on a 1000 meter stretch actually means things are slow.
Especially from the viewpoint of a large smoothly moving hunk of steel. Thus we probably lost focus as SUDDENLY a large, completely unlit, trailer appeared, parked.
While parked next to the tracks it appeared to us that at the passing point both our locomotive and the trailer (large wheeled frame, used for internal transport) would occupy the same space. Suboptimal from a safety point of view.
12
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So. If you’re wondering. 15 km/hr on a 1000 meter stretch actually means things are slow.
Especially from the viewpoint of a large smoothly moving hunk of steel. Thus we probably lost focus as SUDDENLY a large, completely unlit, trailer appeared, parked.
While parked next to the tracks it appeared to us that at the passing point both our locomotive and the trailer (large wheeled frame, used for internal transport) would occupy the same space. Suboptimal from a safety point of view.
12
Thus my training kicked in. Using all I learned I instantly just slowed down a little bit to 10 km/hr.
This was followed, easily a second later, by HOM calmly saying “let’s just do a full stop for now”.
This was only the second time I had operated the brakes, the first time being the static test or explanation. Let’s just say we came to a stop real fast. And then slid a.. bit.
13
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Thus my training kicked in. Using all I learned I instantly just slowed down a little bit to 10 km/hr.
This was followed, easily a second later, by HOM calmly saying “let’s just do a full stop for now”.
This was only the second time I had operated the brakes, the first time being the static test or explanation. Let’s just say we came to a stop real fast. And then slid a.. bit.
13
The front of the locomotive passed the trailer just before we came to a full standstill. It nicely kicked it out of the way, clearing the track for whoever would come after us.
While the locomotive had zero damage the trailer was ready for some time old corrective maintenance.
14
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The front of the locomotive passed the trailer just before we came to a full standstill. It nicely kicked it out of the way, clearing the track for whoever would come after us.
While the locomotive had zero damage the trailer was ready for some time old corrective maintenance.
14
..
So. We were clearly not super chill about this. So after securing no-one else was around we hopped in and returned to the workshop.In the workshop HOM found the technician under whose responsibility we were technically driving and explained the situation with a lot of laughs and a number of “it’ll be good memories”. With the three of us we, by car, went to check out the trailer and photograph the bad parking job.
And that was the story of how I drove a train. Was fun, would do again!
15
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..
So. We were clearly not super chill about this. So after securing no-one else was around we hopped in and returned to the workshop.In the workshop HOM found the technician under whose responsibility we were technically driving and explained the situation with a lot of laughs and a number of “it’ll be good memories”. With the three of us we, by car, went to check out the trailer and photograph the bad parking job.
And that was the story of how I drove a train. Was fun, would do again!
15
–
Bit of an epilogue:a formal incident report was composed. A small detail I only learned today was that the technician-driver (now long retired) was actually on board with us (!)
Us being just me (!) (unnamed), a “trainee operator on an orientating ride” (!).
The trailer WAS actually placed in the wrong spot, and it was deemed not unlikely an actual trained driver would also have missed it.
HOM is now also retired and shared with me how much he enjoyed this ride

/x
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–
Bit of an epilogue:a formal incident report was composed. A small detail I only learned today was that the technician-driver (now long retired) was actually on board with us (!)
Us being just me (!) (unnamed), a “trainee operator on an orientating ride” (!).
The trailer WAS actually placed in the wrong spot, and it was deemed not unlikely an actual trained driver would also have missed it.
HOM is now also retired and shared with me how much he enjoyed this ride

/x
@Pepijn may I guess? Was it a large steel company in a small country?
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Bit of an epilogue:a formal incident report was composed. A small detail I only learned today was that the technician-driver (now long retired) was actually on board with us (!)
Us being just me (!) (unnamed), a “trainee operator on an orientating ride” (!).
The trailer WAS actually placed in the wrong spot, and it was deemed not unlikely an actual trained driver would also have missed it.
HOM is now also retired and shared with me how much he enjoyed this ride

/x
note: If you're a train driver, I have the utmost respect for your skills and profession.
(and can I drive your train?)
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note: If you're a train driver, I have the utmost respect for your skills and profession.
(and can I drive your train?)
@Pepijn you sure get up to some weird shit on company time.
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@Pepijn you sure get up to some weird shit on company time.
A year or two after becoming a trainer / consultant I realised that with the retirement age somewhere between my 70th and 80th birthday I would get depressed if I didn't make my working days interesting for my brain.
One way seemed to use what is given to me: I decided that every time I'd visit a new company I'd try to be enthusiastic about what they do, and if at all possible, find a way to participate in an activity.
It's the one thing I miss by now primarily working from home.
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..
So. We were clearly not super chill about this. So after securing no-one else was around we hopped in and returned to the workshop.In the workshop HOM found the technician under whose responsibility we were technically driving and explained the situation with a lot of laughs and a number of “it’ll be good memories”. With the three of us we, by car, went to check out the trailer and photograph the bad parking job.
And that was the story of how I drove a train. Was fun, would do again!
15
@Pepijn thanks for this story, it was a fun read!







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The front of the locomotive passed the trailer just before we came to a full standstill. It nicely kicked it out of the way, clearing the track for whoever would come after us.
While the locomotive had zero damage the trailer was ready for some time old corrective maintenance.
14
A tale worthy of several beers.
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note: If you're a train driver, I have the utmost respect for your skills and profession.
(and can I drive your train?)
@Pepijn Awesome story. Kept me up past my bedtime.
Thank you!
