ransomware except in addition to encrypting data it plays a 10 hour supercut of all yotubes worst jarjar binks impressions and zingers forever until they pay
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@Viss I'll fork it to make it even worse. Not only do you get signed up for the Elmo fan club, you'll also get texted a different photo of Ian Miles Cheong every day.
@Viss please, for your own mental health, don't attempt to visualize what this might be like.
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@Viss @scottwilson I don't know about laptops, but my ali-express chinesium pfSense router can.
@da_667 @scottwilson HOLY FUCK YES OH MY GOD
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ransomware except that it specifically finds any machines that still have diskette drives in them and plays the mexican hat dance, the imperial march, or the mario theme on them either until their stepper motors burn out, or the ransom is paid
h/t @da_667
da_667 (@da_667@infosec.exchange)
@Viss@mastodon.social @scottwilson I don't know about laptops, but my ali-express chinesium pfSense router can.
Infosec Exchange (infosec.exchange)
malware except it only infects networking appliances that can make pc speaker beeps and boops and forces them to loop through a cacophany of all the shit we used to play on the pc speaker as kids.
mario, doom music, heretic music, descent, star wars, various shit from the mod days -
@winterknight1337 show me
@Viss the only one I have a picture of is we found a payload that overwrites a bootloader with flappy bird, I’ve got it as a one liner (and more) that I can send you
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@Viss the only one I have a picture of is we found a payload that overwrites a bootloader with flappy bird, I’ve got it as a one liner (and more) that I can send you
@winterknight1337 this is fucking spectacular
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@winterknight1337 this is fucking spectacular
@Viss one of our new guys found it and I was so, so happy.
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@winterknight1337 oh.. some shit crashing your payload you say?
and it takes down some more shit with it you say?
OH WHAT EVER DO YOU MEANhttps://github.com/EmpireProject/Empire/issues/589
@winterknight1337 someone, i dont remember who, made this after that, and it has been the wallpaper of my old crusty mac ever since.
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@scottwilson can ... can laptops do the pc speaker beep anymore? is that even still a thing?
@Viss @scottwilson Ubuntu is really obnoxious if you remove pcspkr from the modules blacklist
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@Viss @scottwilson Ubuntu is really obnoxious if you remove pcspkr from the modules blacklist
@schrotthaufen @scottwilson how many companies have onsite servers now that they can actually hear?
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h/t @da_667
da_667 (@da_667@infosec.exchange)
@Viss@mastodon.social @scottwilson I don't know about laptops, but my ali-express chinesium pfSense router can.
Infosec Exchange (infosec.exchange)
malware except it only infects networking appliances that can make pc speaker beeps and boops and forces them to loop through a cacophany of all the shit we used to play on the pc speaker as kids.
mario, doom music, heretic music, descent, star wars, various shit from the mod daysransomware except it transposes the reply and replyall button functionalities in outlook
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ransomware except it transposes the reply and replyall button functionalities in outlook
@Viss okay, so hear me out...
What if, and we can decide who later, we just disallow reply-all without some kind of quiz first?
Like two lists, one list allows reply-all's and the other list only gets reply-all's when they figure out Neal.fun's password game or something.
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@schrotthaufen @scottwilson how many companies have onsite servers now that they can actually hear?
@Viss @scottwilson If you can hit the resonance frequency of spinning platter drives with loud enough beeps, even the c suite execs will hear it
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ransomware except it transposes the reply and replyall button functionalities in outlook
ransomware except it uses cordura, pegasus or whatever the popular iphone 0day factory is current to randomly light up siri to try and awkwardly flirt with you. it has detection for if youre in a meeting, or traveling, and does the ingress thing to measure delicate changes in accelerometer, gait analysis, nearby bt addresses and more. it pipes up when it knows youre on a zoom/teams call, or in line at the bank or dmv
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ransomware except it transposes the reply and replyall button functionalities in outlook
@Viss you mean enables reply all on all global distribution lists
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@Viss okay, so hear me out...
What if, and we can decide who later, we just disallow reply-all without some kind of quiz first?
Like two lists, one list allows reply-all's and the other list only gets reply-all's when they figure out Neal.fun's password game or something.
@jackryder what youre tired of 'what garlic bread are you' quizzes being sent around the office littered with 1995 flavored clipart, and massive, purple cursive font email signatures?
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@Viss you mean enables reply all on all global distribution lists
@bosh absolutely everywhere
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ransomware except it transposes the reply and replyall button functionalities in outlook
@Viss Ransomware except it always bccs union reps in mails from and to execs
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ransomware except it uses cordura, pegasus or whatever the popular iphone 0day factory is current to randomly light up siri to try and awkwardly flirt with you. it has detection for if youre in a meeting, or traveling, and does the ingress thing to measure delicate changes in accelerometer, gait analysis, nearby bt addresses and more. it pipes up when it knows youre on a zoom/teams call, or in line at the bank or dmv
ransomware except it reverts all default browsers to IE again
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@jackryder what youre tired of 'what garlic bread are you' quizzes being sent around the office littered with 1995 flavored clipart, and massive, purple cursive font email signatures?
@Viss twitch
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ransomware except it reverts all default browsers to IE again
@Viss You are a monster
